By Jack Mandaville I have to preface my forthcoming rant with a...
What to do?
Editor’s Note: Some of you may know Six from her wildly popular Facebook page: Overly Sensitive Military Wives. Well, I have been
courting, harassing, seducing, asking her to write for us but she doesn’t quite know where to start. After the use of a cattle-prod, Six has been kind enough to offer up several starting points of chaos, I just need you to leave a comment on what you would like to see first. Thanks, -RU Rob
By RU Contributor SIX
I was told everyone has to run the gauntlet and give details of the stupidest thing they’ve done or witnessed. Unfortunately for me, that takes up 89.43% of my life.
Digging through memory, I start blabbing via the keyboard only to backspace and say ‘No no, that was just a duh moment’. I guess 8% of my life is filled with duh.
With numbers like that I can’t choose between when I got cut off from drinking on Bourbon St for putting a dude in an arm bar, caught with my pants down and throwing green mangos at a ‘you’re going this fast’ sign trying to get it to register, or getting invited to a party only to figure out it was a swingers club and I don’t mean play ground swings. . . And I went.
Truthfully, I cant even narrow it down to those. So I switch gears and think of other times. Those “duh” moments.
Not any easier. Memory conjures up when I went to a FRG meeting not knowing it was for spouses. They invited me thinking I was a wife. Once the flyers for Avon and Tupperware started getting pass around, it hit me and I spent a good hour trying to escape. Then spent the next 5 months dodging all those wives who thought I was there sizing them up so I could sleep with their husbands.
My brain quickly reminds me of how I was sitting next to Wesley Snipes on a plane and argued the origins of Tae kwon do. He said Africa. I said he was stupid for arguing with an Asian about it. Doesn’t sound like much except I didnt know it was him and kept calling him one of the Wayans brothers.
Even the one time I fell asleep with Nair on my legs and ended up going to a function looking like a Class A experiment for the CDC creeps into view.
I can’t talk about the alcohol infused times. That would be an acknowledgement they happened. Anything that was photographed, videoed, or somehow made it on the local news – I try to deny.
So I’m sorry. I don’t have a single stupid moment that I can decide on. But thats okay, because I’m a chick and we never can make up our minds anyway.