What the Senior Enlisted Leader of The Army Said May Shock You
By SGT Awesome
“If you can raise motivation by fixing things that don’t really have a negative effect on the standards and discipline of the Army, why not?” –Sergeant Major of the Army Dan Dailey
That is a real quote from The Army Times from the most senior enlisted member of the United States Army.
I’m still in shock from reading it myself. A senior leader in the military not only using common sense, but seeking to actively apply it? This is like some weird Twilight Zone episode only instead of aliens trying to eat humans we’ve got the Army dipping its toes into the “slightly less draconian” side of the pool.
What are some of these brave and innovative changes possibly coming down the pipeline? Well I’m glad you asked. You know the soon to be issued Army-wide sweet new black PT uniform that every single Soldier thinks is totally the best? Well SMA Dailey is currently surveying senior enlisted leadership to see if the majority of them favor allowing Soldiers to wear black socks with them.
Yeah. Black socks.
Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last!
Can you just imagine how motivated you’ll feel at 3:30am slipping those bad boys on? Who needs a Red Bull when you can wake up to a footjob from lady liberty herself? I suspect they’ll soon be colloquially known amongst the lower enlisted as “freedom socks” or possibly “the best thing to happen to ankles since Achilles.”
This why we’ve fought for so long for ladies and gentlemen. Those purple fingers of people whom you helped vote democratically for the first time in their lives? Now relegated to the dust bin of your memory when you think of freedom.
No more will you have to fear running down the road in your shiny new black PTs in shame because your socks are white.
No more will you wonder pondering if your leadership truly cares about your morale.
No more will you be left staring longingly across the sock isle into the forbidden land of black sweetness.
No more will you have to wonder which sock is your jerk off sock as the stains will be more readily identifiable.
Black socks, black socks for all! The world is yours, seize it!
Another change (yes, ANOTHER!) that SMA Dailey is looking into is allowing Soldiers to wear headphones while working out in the gym in PTs.
Hopefully you had your earbuds in as you read that announcement so your brain didn’t explode out of your ears.
Can you imagine the sweet ecstasy of finally being able to sling around some kettlebells to the melodic sound of Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball without everyone else looking at you judgingly?
I mean, when was the last time you were doing deadlifts to Ke$ha and you didn’t get laughed at? Never, that’s when.
Now you can!
All of this now because we have a Sergeant Major of the Army who isn’t afraid to fight for the things important to the troops.
He listens to you.
He is willing to stand up to the highest of high Army authorities and declare, “Yes sir, I will survey senior enlisted leadership to see if a change in the color of socks during physical training will in fact not be detrimental to the readiness and physical fitness of the force.”
I know for a fact (that I just made up) that SMA Dailey reads this blog all the time, so comment below to let him know what other changes you’d like him to consider possibly maybe asking about potentially thinking about changing if it might potentially increase motivation, you know, because reasons.