Welcome to “Generica”
By Kelly Crigger
The Redskin is not dead, but the US Patent and Trademark Office’s decision to revoke it’s copyright is like the colonists getting off the boat and meeting the first Indians on the shores of Salvador. What happens next is pretty much inevitable and we will all regret it in the long run.
Make no mistake about it. Every group in the world that’s offended in some way by a mascot will latch onto this decision and use it to achieve their goals of making everything as bland as possible. The USPTO has now shown that it will cave under pressure so where does it stop?
It won’t. One Boston University Professor has already started the charge to get rid of every Native American name in the Department of Defense (he gets shredded in the comments section). If he wins his PC war, the US Army will rename its helicopters (all of which have Indian names) from Blackhawk to Transporter, Kiowa to Whirlybird, and Apache to Insane Platform of Hovering Death.
After that it will get truly ridiculous. Someone offended that the city of Seattle is named after an Indian Chief will push to change the name to Generica. A gay and lesbian group offended by the University of Hawaii’s Rainbow Warrior will file a lawsuit. Large men will force the New York Giants to be the New York Averages. Offended Greek-Americans will make the Spartan Brigade change to the Fancypants Brigade.
Every team with a Native American mascot is in jeopardy so if they’re smart they’ll be thinking of generic, sterile names. Kansas City Chiefs fans like me better get used to something bland like the Kansas City Wheatfields.
This may sound ridiculous, but really it’s America. This is what oversensitive, litigious liberals do. They get offended (or get offended for someone else) and take up the charge to set it right whether the people in question want it or not. These are the same people who want to give 10th place trophies out to little league kids so they don’t feel like a failure and ensure they grow up lacking a spinal column like they did.
Of course the argument that we use these names to pay homage to brave Native American people has been said a million times (because it’s true) and falls on deaf ears. How the US Patent and Trademark Office has the authority to deem the Redskin trademark offensive and disparaging is what worries me. When will they decide the Duke Blue Devils are Satanists and eliminate their trademark? When will they look at Ranger Up and reject it as being offensive to Rangers who can’t get it up anymore?
Revoking a trademark is a very serious financial matter. The Redskins will lose millions of dollars in merchandising from it, which will have a ripple effect throughout their organization and will probably end with people losing their jobs. I’m not here to defend the Washington Redskin mascot, but the decision by the USPTO to revoke its trademark is just another step in the pussification of America that we at the Rhino Den have written about repeatedly. It’s the first shot in a lengthy battle for anyone and everyone with a mascot to now defend it or change it to something generic. If it were me, I would keep the name redskin and make it one of these just to piss everyone off: