The Rhino Den – What We Believe

Updated: April 13, 2013

Due to the fact that several of our last “Douche of the Week” articles have focused on either political figures or political issues, we have received a number of comments about catering to one political ideology or another and how that is detrimental to what we do here. After assuring people in the comment section about what we do believe in, it occurred to us, the Rhino Den staff, that we have never put forth an actual “philosophy” for the public to see.

Please allow these very words to remedy that very thing.


We believe in America.

We believe in what America was intended to be and what it has been at many times in the past and even present.

We believe that the American military is a big part of what has made this country great and continues to be one of the best examples of what the United States has to offer.

We believe in sticking up for those who served and are serving by being a voice for those who may not have one, can’t have one, or simply don’t have the words to say what they need to say.

We believe that the .45% — the percentage of American citizens who have served in the Armed Forces during the last 10 years—are among the best and brightest in this country and yet somehow are still mostly misunderstood.

We believe in changing those misconceptions with a full-frontal assault.

We believe that part of the assault includes calling out stupidity whenever and wherever we see it—whether that be in the political arena or otherwise.

We believe that in the political arena, there is a tremendous amount of stupidity and that it is on both sides of the aisle.

We believe that most politicians—be they Democrat or Republican—have their own best interests in mind rather than those of the hundreds of thousands of men and women who have sweat and bled for them.

We believe in your right to bear arms.

We believe that pointing out the idiocy of politicians is not only important but also necessary for the Veteran community, and that it should be done smartly, succinctly, and also in the most ridiculous fashion possible.

We believe in having fun pointing out stupid.

We believe in making a mockery out of that which deserves to be mocked.

We believe that the right combination of whiskey and unicorn tears will cure any ailment known to mankind.

We believe that if it looks like a turd, smells like a turd and acts like a turd…..it IS a turd.

We believe that, despite many claims to the contrary, Kim Jong Un and the Gangnam Style guy are not, in fact, one in the same person.

We believe that the American G.I. has done more for this country than the NFL, NBA, and NASCAR combined.

We believe stupidity costs lives, our lives.

We believe that everyone is entitled to their First Amendment right to voice an opinion. But if you’ve served in the military, then you’ve earned that right.

Do you have an opinion of what we are or what we stand for? Did we miss something in the process? Leave a comment below and we just may be inclined to give a couple shirts away for your contribution.





  1. Joe King

    April 13, 2013 at 11:50 am

    Joke ‘me if they can’t take a fuck!!!

  2. Justin White

    April 13, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Based on your Iraq articles, I would say you also believe in leaving an accurate and personal history of American conflict, told not by arm-chair generals, but by the actual warriors who were there.

  3. T. Morris

    April 13, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Fuckin’ hooah, gentlemen. Proud to be a customer of this company.

  4. Crum

    April 13, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    We believe that humans have the right to succeed in life. The service members fight to the death to preserve that right. Let us not understate that the right to succeed is directly tied to the effort you as an individual assert.

  5. Ryan Mitchell

    April 13, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    We believe that there is no cure for stupid, only precautions that can be taken.

  6. Kyle

    April 13, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    I rarely read the comments b/c I figure that the people who read your material share the same views as we (the vet. community with a set of morals/ balls). If they don’t share them, then why are they reading this stuff? Clearly if you have a regular article titled “Douche of the Week” you’re most likely going to call a spade a spade and not care if people don’t like it. The point I’m trying to make is simple if you don’t like it don’t read it and stop being a whiny little entitled bitch that thinks people should bend to your overly sensitive wants. In short stop being a douche. Hopefully you guys can capture this particular demographic that I just described in a manner similar to your “Douche of the Week: College Students” article (my personal favorite, next to Sealy’s rant). Fuck now I’m pissed and it’s bed time. Anyway you guys do a great job and provide countless hours of entertainment and start many good discussions within my team here in Afshitistan. Keep up the good work!

  7. Chris Fleisher

    April 13, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    I believe many in this country have lost the sense of what it is to be an American, and it is our duty to raise our voices as one to remind them.

    • ROb

      April 14, 2013 at 12:39 pm


  8. Kevin Swilley

    April 13, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    I believe that we are responsible for what we say and do. To try to explain it after the fact as something else is being a douche. If your actions take a pack of talking heads to explain, then you have a problem walking the walk and talking the talk. Keep up the great work and hopefully you can pound a little common sense into some of these whiners.

  9. Trevor

    April 13, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    I believe that you guys are the wind beneath my wings!

  10. Bill

    April 13, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    As usual you sum up the feelings of most of us in the community. You have the right and freedom to voice you’re opinion, because you have earned it unlike most. Keep up the good work, you guys are awesome and will always have my respect. And thank you for defending our beliefs.

  11. Eric Hayes

    April 13, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Well put and agreed. Rights are reserved for those willing to fight for them. Opinions are fine, just realize not everyone has to share yours. God bless my brothers and sisters in every branch, past, present, and future. Drive on gentlemen.

  12. Mike M.

    April 13, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    I believe in PERSONAL FREEDOM and PERSONAL RESPONSIBILTY. Just want to be left alone as long as I’m not bothering anyone else. I apply that to each individual political topic. Thanks for what you guys do. “We Remember”

  13. Mike M.

    April 13, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Oh yeah, and you should definitely call out stupid, on all sides! MURICA’

  14. Sgt Josh

    April 13, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    Death Blossom. You also believe in Death Blossom, as do all of us.

    • Gunship Load

      April 21, 2013 at 10:55 pm

      Ahh, The Last Starfighter….

      Cheesy 80’s Sci-Fi at its BEST!

  15. David Gerlach

    April 13, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    We DO believe it’s not butter and you have the right to eat it if you want to.

  16. Eric Mertz

    April 13, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    For me you guys get the by and large veterans communities sense of humor and cater to it with your articles and apparel. I cant tell you how many fellow vets i have met just by wearing one of your shirts and someone asking about it having a laugh and possibly a beer or two from it. Keep up the great work guys!

  17. James A

    April 13, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    We believe that rights is a bit of a misnomer. They should probably be called privileges. We are all born with freedom of choice (free will) and that’s ALL WE GET FOR FREE. What we call rights are the things one uses said free will to demand and fight for against all odds. The idea of America is that we will collectively fight tooth and nail to afford certain rights to one another, letting no power prevent us from enjoying our EARNED liberty. No one personifies this better than a current service member in the American armed forces. Charlie Mike Ranger Up!


      April 16, 2013 at 5:58 pm


  18. Logan

    April 13, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    Hoorah Guys. I think you forgot to mention Tolerance. I personally believe this country was built on Guns, and Tolerance first and foremost. Ranger-Up is just too cool for this galaxy.

  19. Billy Mac

    April 14, 2013 at 12:47 am

    Nuff said.

  20. JoeC

    April 15, 2013 at 10:19 am

    I believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I also believe that these are rights, not guarantees. It is on each individual to ensure that these happen for themselves. It is up to nobody else. You are not owed anything in life, you are born owing every veteran who has gone before you for the privelege of being an American.

    I believe that those who stand on the tallest rooftop and call out for the tolerance of others are typically the least tolerant of the differing opinions of those they call to.

    I believe life is about choices. The only things I MUST do are stay white and die. Everything else I do is in some way based on decisions I make for myself.

  21. Faith Mann

    April 15, 2013 at 10:40 am

    You guys are seriously the best company ever.
    I love your brand, what you represent, &how soft your t shirt material is. <3

  22. Marie

    April 15, 2013 at 10:49 am

    Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

    • Mike C

      April 17, 2013 at 6:48 am

      Marie, are you married? Do ya want to be??! (hoping you are female and not a guy named Sue) 😛

  23. Mark Nelsen

    April 15, 2013 at 10:52 am

    As the stupidity worsens and affects our rights in ever increasing ways, I’m afraid it will come down to a fight. It is good to know that a person is surrounded by like minded friends. Keep up the good work!

  24. Karen

    April 15, 2013 at 11:13 am

    I believe with rights comes responsibility. Our rights were not just handed to us on a pretty silver platter, but passed down to us by our forefathers and mothers wrapped in blood soaked bandages, presented as the gifts they are. It sickens me that the Constitution was written on toilet paper and used as such. 99.9% of all current politicians are in dire need of my 8th grade Civics class.

  25. Dean T.

    April 15, 2013 at 11:22 am

    We believe in the warrior mindset, personal freedom and personal responsibility, self reliance and preparation, while serving something greater than yourself.

  26. David Benedict

    April 15, 2013 at 11:24 am

    I find it refreshing that you have the courage to speak your mind in a fashion that catches attention. You goal isn’t to just anger people but to get information out to the public through social media in fun ways. I appreciate it. From a future soldier to you, THANK YOU.

  27. Zach

    April 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    You forgot: We believe that, contrary to popular opinion, no one owes you anything. EARN IT! One if your finest shirts as well as the subject of many articles written by you guys. The belief that we as Americans should strive to work hard and contribute to this nation of ours, rather than sit back with our hands cupped, waiting for a handout from the government. Carry on guys!

  28. randy sharp

    April 15, 2013 at 11:32 am

    hooah thnx u guys just get tired of being though of as stupid or racist because im not one or the other people need to pull their heads out of their ass and see the light of day and most of all people need to stop talking bout shit they know nothing about(also i love douch bag of the week keep it up)

  29. Nathan Purling

    April 15, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    I re-enlisted in 2005 to do what my grandfathers, father, and little brother had done before me, actively fight for my country. I felt I needed to earn my place in this country that I was lucky enough to be born in. The night before I left for Iraq I tried to explain to my wife exactly what that was. What I struggled to explain to her is exactly what you guys just typed. I needed to EARN my rights and repay what was given to me. Thank you, Gents.

  30. Tim Black

    April 16, 2013 at 8:48 am

    We believe in respecting those who deserve respect. We also believe that respect is to be earned, not given.

  31. Will Boward

    April 16, 2013 at 10:18 am

    Just a note to send a big thank you – not for the shirts but for putting the most succinct method for communicating beliefs on your shirts. A day does not go by when I wear your shirts that someone doesn’t come up and give me a positive comment (not many are what I would previously consider warriors). They include waitresses, bank clerks, and even a young pup or two. Taught me that there are a lot of people that love this country and freedom thing dearly. Your heartfelt, sometimes crude expression of that gives a voice to many. As the John Wayne quote goes, “Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid!” To you Sheepdogs all – “The beatings will continue until moral improves!!!!”

  32. Ken

    April 16, 2013 at 10:28 am

    Many douches out there have core values based on emotion, rather than facts. When you point out the falsehood of their douchery, they only have emotions to fall back on!
    You are a business, so I’ll pay for my shirts from you folks, thank you very much! (imitating lee Ermey’s voice)

  33. Jake da Snake

    April 16, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Stupid is as Stupid does. As the Polack said in the “Deerhunter”———“FUCKIN A”

  34. ex-Army doc

    April 16, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    There is only one unfortunate fact about this “What We Believe” statement: the people who ought to read it aren’t in the target audience. If they were, then then this nation and the world would be a better place.

    Thank you for writing a terrific statement.

  35. Virgil Hilts

    April 16, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    I believe that we have a DUTY of self-discipline, and that we conduct ourselves with dignity and bearing, NOT to be noticed by others, but to conduct ourselves that way because it is RIGHT! Doing the right thing means doing it, even if no one is looking.; I believe that our Parents are to be honored and treated with respect and a certain reverence, because without them we would not be here…..and to remember with affection and thankfulness for the values they instilled in us…and that WE are to pass that along.

  36. Nicole

    April 18, 2013 at 4:00 am

    You guys are the best. Don’t give me a shirt, this is a useless comment. Just want to tell you this is one of the best things I’ve seen in weeks. Perfect timing to remind me of why I defend my opinions and rights from idiots who don’t trust themselves and think that’s a good excuse to not trust others. Thank you.

  37. Judith Anderson

    April 21, 2013 at 2:26 am

    My Niece is an Army Combat Medic attached to a helo evac unit on deployment at this time. Just sent a few goodies from your company. Shirts are great good quality and fantastic Graphics. Thanks Jude (USN 72-86) PS “What a Ride” T fits great!

  38. Gunship Load

    April 21, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    We believe that this country needs great leaders, and our Armed Forces teaches ordinary leaders to be Great.

  39. Charles

    May 7, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    If your best excuse for saying or doing something is “that you have a right to do so”, you probably should not say or do it.

  40. Dwight Dyche

    May 14, 2013 at 9:47 am

    I am a Nam Vet, my father flew 33 missions over Europe on a B-17 to give you some background. I consider todays warriors the same as the Founding Father’s, the Greatest Generation, you are fighting for our Freedom and our way of life. Without the blood of many a good soldier we would not have this country and the gifts it gives us. God bless the Freedom Fighters of every generation!

  41. Julia

    July 23, 2013 at 7:59 pm

    God, i love this site.

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