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The Olympics: Ranger Up Style
By Mr. Twisted
Let me begin by making a full disclosure: I have tremendous respect for anyone who made it to the Olympics, regardless of the sport they are competing in. The work ethic needed to rise to the top in any field must be incredibly strong, and the mental fortitude required just making it to that level deserves some recognition, to be sure.
Now, all that being said…let’s be honest and just say it right up front: some of what goes on at the Olympics is just downright boring. There are valid reasons for all of those empty seats in the arenas that you see on NBC’s coverage. In this day and age, people need a little more excitement. And, given the origins of how the Olympics began and what they were, they need to Ranger Up a bit.
So, I encourage you to come up with a plan to make some of these events a tad more thrilling. Following are a few examples I have come up with.
Don’t get me wrong, I think gymnasts are probably some of the most physically fit people on the planet. But I’ll risk skewering the sacred cow here and say that most of what goes on in the floor routine looks more like dancing than any kind of sport. There’s an easy fix for that – put two gymnasts from opposing countries on the floor at the same time and make it a race. Fastest competitor to make X number of flips/cartwheels/flying jump kicks/five-finger-death-punches – while remaining conscious – wins.
Tell me the downside of this idea. You know that crazy vault thing that all the gymnasts do where they sprint towards the spring board, hit the horse, and do some crazy flips? How about we put that at the top of the 10 meter diving platform and see who the real competitors are.
Put a 50lbs ruck sack on competitors’ backs and rename this one “infantry.”
Did you know badminton was an Olympic sport? Well, if each of the players had a racket in one hand and a fencing foil in the other you sure would.
I’m not even entirely sure what they do in equestrian events because I’ve never had a desire to watch them. Is it a race? Do they see how high they can jump? I’ll probably never know unless they use my idea, which is to pay homage to Genghis Khan and combine horse riding with archery and make it team against team. It’s not violent – it’s historical.
There are several directions this could go, obviously; some of the above could be combined even further (using a real horse in gymnastics and then diving that bad boy off the 10 meter platform is an attractive option to me, as a viewer). Many sports have not been mentioned that certainly should be (team MMA, anyone?), and I haven’t even touched on events like synchronized swimming , which clearly need some guts and power added to it, so I encourage you to share your ideas in the comments.
In Ancient Greece, the original Olympics focused a great deal of attention on combat-related sports. Modern Olympics – in keeping up with the mostly namby-pamby world we live in – have largely neglected that aspect. I say it’s high time some of that be brought back. What say you?