The New Year is upon us and it is time for Ranger Up’s New Year’s Resolutions.
While we don’t have them all ironed out yet, Tommy and I have firmly committed to defattifying ourselves.
Now it isn’t that we’re grossly out of shape and except for one drunken moment where we considered gorging ourselves for months in order to qualify, we’ve never considered applying for “The Biggest Loser”. We both can still easily make the Ranger five-mile time of 40 minutes and our combined bench, dead lift, and squat score is still north of 1000 pounds, but time away from active duty and consistent Jits/MMA competition has made us well…a little too squishy for our liking.
And it isn’t just that we’ve let our girlish figures slip (I think I am getting a muffin top). I found myself gassing a little too early when I grappled or running a little slower than I liked and Tommy failed to max the PT test for the first time in ages, coming in at a 286 in his guard unit. His Fran and Cindy records on Crossfit also slipped by 2-3 rotations.
Of course, it didn’t help to have Tim Kennedy walking around with his eight-pack, a constant reminder of what we once were (okay, maybe not, but we at least had the top four to six), but we’re busy dudes and we can’t really work out three times a day like professional athletes or two times a day like we used to in the military.
Tim has too many abs and we hate him for it.
So what’s a couple of chubby military t-shirt makers to do?
Enter P.R. Cole, or “The Pixie” as she is affectionately known, owner of FueltheFighter.com. Cole is the premier nutritionist in MMA, writing for Fight! Magazine each month, supporting such fighters as Tim Kennedy, Frank Trigg, Kenny Florian, Phillipe Nover, and Jorge Gurgel with personalized nutrition programs, and, if the rumors are true may end up with her own TV segment in the near future. As if that isn’t enough, she is also a seasoned gymnast and muay thai practitioner, and holds something like 107 degrees from Columbia University. When she started working with Tim, we wondered “What could she possibly do for him?” Well, he actually grew four additional abs, so he now has a twelve pack, which is just bullshit. In short, she is more than qualified to help the likes of Tommy and I get a little less fat.
Graciously, even though she is the busiest woman alive, she offered to build programs for us. We think she is doing so because of our incredible charm and good looks. Others claim that it is because I went to school with her brother and she pities us. You decide.
They key here is that this isn’t a diet. I was a wrestler. If I wanted to weight 135 tomorrow, I could probably pull that shit off. The plan is to fundamentally and permanently change the way we eat. My theory is that if it works for workaholic/alcoholic freaks like us, you guys ought to try it too.
Progress to Date
So here’s the deal. Tommy has been at it for 9 weeks. At 5’ 6” he has gone from 174 to 159. He wants to hit 155 before he starts building more muscle with an eventual goal of landing at a very solid 170.
I started ten days ago, so there is a lot of work to be done! At 5’8” I weighed in at 209 and as of last Friday (weigh day)was at 204.5. I want to drop down to 185/190 depending on body fat percentage and then add lean muscle and land at 195-200.
We will post updates every week or two because it will shame us into committing.
What’s In it For You? (Other than laughing at us)
1) We work better when we have other goals, so we’d like your help coming up with our other resolutions. Ideas on the table from friends: Run a marathon (time TBD), Actually try to get belted in Jits and get our Blue Belts from Tim Burrill (a tall order at Tim’s), Lift X, Win X Judo Tournament or Y Jits Tournament, Accomplish Random feats of Crossfit Awesomeness, etc. If we pick your resolution (and yes, there will be some voting involved once we vet the top ones) you’ll get a $50 Ranger Up Gift Certificate.
2) We need workouts to keep things interesting, and we’re so busy that we pretty much work out at RU or run and that’s it right now. At our disposal at RU: tons of kettle bells, a sledge hammer and normal-sized tire, a bench press, deadlift area, squat rack, lat pull down machine, pull up bar, dip bar, thai bag, and jits mats. We’ll pick one workout every week from the comments section here, our facebook group, or from email (nick@rangerup.com) to knock out. If we use yours, we’ll mention how it went in our updates, give you credit for life, and send you a free t-shirt.
Nick and Tommy getting their hair done before their PR Cole diet began.
Break a world record
It would probably have to involve alcohol, ball bearings, and a Diet Coke for us to hit that one…
here’s a challenge: win a 10K summer biathlon (Running + Shooting; how cool is that?). I’ve never tried it, but this is you guys we’re talking about… so I’m willing to experiment (on you).
Let me know how it turns out.
21- minute Power Express workout (Designed to leave you 9 minutes for a 30 minute lunch…) Basically “builds down” the olypic lifts to smoke most everything in short order. Great w kettlebells unilaterally, but start w. a barbell workout. Yes, changing plates IS your rest time…
1)”warm up” with 8ct lifts (1-power clean, 2-press, 3-lower to behind neck*, 4-squat, 5- full body press, 6- back down to chest level, 7- hang at thighs, 8- back to floor.) (1 Min)
2) Power clean and press…try 75% of your body weight, go for 3-5 reps, 2 sets (6 min)
3) Power Clean- 3-5 reps, 2 sets (6 min)
4) Dead Lift- 3-5 reps, 2 sets (6 min)
5) Go back to the 8 count press, put on the same amount, and go to exhaustion. (2 Min) *NOTE! Careful lowering the bar behind your neck on count 3!!
Alcohol and diet coke powered rockets with ball bearing wheels to break the land speed record of similar land craft.
1. Resolution:
Iron man..http://ironman.com/
Then you can say you are Iron Man and pretend to be a kick ass Marvel superhero…
Guys, this is right up your alley. A few friends and I are making the trip down to Georgia for this:
http://www.warriordash.com/register2010_southeast.php
By the way, I’m completely willing to wear RangerUP attire while I’m running in this…just saying.
I emailed Tim after he posted that picture of his gazillion pack asking for advice! My question was this. ” I”m 5’2″ 120 lbs and I’m 45 years old. I’m starting to get belly fat!!! Help! What do you do for that? Tim’s reply: “eat less, run more, and do lots of core (eg. abs, back, sides).”
OKAY. WTF? If I eat any less, I will die. I hate to exercise, so I just don’t eat!!! The only walking I get is from being a nurse, walking my dog and running from the muggers in Fayetteville! Hence the reason I’m in as good of shape as I am, but abs, back, sides? WTF? I think it’s about time for this ol gal to retire from the decent figure game!!
Can’t Tim just GIVE me some of his abs?????????????? waaaaaah
Beat my times and scores on my last semi annual PFA (I am 38 years old and about to retire from 20+ active duty);
2 min sit ups: 100 (no I am not kidding)
rest 1 min
2 min push ups: 74
rest 1 min
mile and a half run: 9:52
Good Luck!
Bataan Memorial Death March in New Mexico. you can even ruck it.
Goals for Nick:
1. Sneak up behind Tim and accomplish a combination flying armbar/pink belly maneuver while shouting “You’re a big wuss”
2. Break the world land speed record running from Tim after accomplishing goal #1
3. Grow another 2 inches so you don’t have to look up when you meet majority of the nice looking gals (my apologies to Nick’s wife, he really is a perfect height)
4. Come to the conclusion that you secretly do admire tankers, especially kick ass ones on the M1A1, and that going infantry was probably a mistake on your part.
5. Brief the president on the terrorist suppression plan you invented that involves scrunchies, diet cokes, #2 pencils and women you have put through your fight class.
6. Send me 4 free T-shirts to recognize my genius.
Make sure for #6 of Lawson’s goals you send him 4 free shirts about how much more awesome being a grunt is than any other mos.
Nick,
Deadlifts.
Bench Press.
Squats.
Sprints.
Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
My favorite trainer’s favorite mantra.
Mutter it and you too shall smoke the elliptical and distribute pics of your shoulder divot.
Hey Guys, been checking out your guys website for a while. No offense here, guys, but it sounds to me like y’all are making some excuses for being fat disgusting slobs…Pathetic excuses for infantry…Jk Jk, lol. Just busting your balls. Anyways, heres my goals for the next year. As an Infantryman in the CAANG, I have a weakness in my strength and conditioning. I’m 5’3″ and 110 pounds. So, I want to get up to at least a 200 pound bench, 300 pound squat, and around 350 on the deadlift, get down to 13:00 flat on my two mile run, and hit a 3 minute Fran. Those are my goals. Oh, btw, you guys are frigging awesome. Love your no BS style, and badass shirts. Keep it up. HOOAH!!!
100 mile Njimegan roadmarch. 4 days, 25 miles per day. (downside…you have to party every night its almost like Mardi Gras) but come next sunrise better have your gameface on and some good damn boots. i will be attending in July.
Pick a loco (I mean local haha) hike point. The longer & steeper the beeter. Plan on rucking it out. Before you go to hike you & Nick do a 3 mile run & then go for 3 3 minute rounds. Your rest will be however long your trip is to the mount. With ruck & tac perform five sets of 2 minute push-ups, sit-ups, with about half a minute to a minute tops rest after both. Done with that? Great! Now go hike the fucking mountain as fast Rangerififuckingly possible. Repeat the five 2 min. sessions. Take a good 15 & eat 8 oz. baked/grilled chicken, a small baked potato (sorry ladies no butter & cream) and a good half can of raw spinach or a plain salad & of fucking course hydrate or die! Once you fatties are done clean up & run back down the hill. Stop, drop & repeat said 5 2 minute sessions.
Then run another 3 mile. Repeat 3-4 times a week & keep the aforementioned diet & you’ll both be where you want in at least a good 3-4 weeks. Maintain. oh and for fun practice you CQC techs up & down the hill. Good luck ladies!
Yea I believe I may’ve missed the boat on this one… n e who whole lotta fun