RTFU

That Explains it All

By
Updated: June 13, 2013

 

By RU Rob

It seems to me that every single day there is some sort of new scientific study that is supposedly earth shattering news. I usually pay little attention to them as they are reported on such a recurring basis I can’t keep up. Yesterday though, I read one that makes sense–total sense. A fog was suddenly lifted, angels sang and a peaceful serenity fell amongst me as I felt as if I finally had found the reason that I was who I was.

Commissioned by the children’s television channel Nickelodeon, the study was to determine the actual age in which men mature. Yes, you read that correctly, the age when men stop being immature. The study was originally meant to assist in the promotion of a new show on the channel but who really cares about that? I am more interested in having scientific proof that it is still ok for me to get the giggles when I rip a righteous fart, have a cartoon bedspread and matching pajamas, and eating fast food at 2 am.

Both men and women agree that men are ‘immature’ at least into their late 30s and early 40s. In fact, 8 out of 10 women said they believed that men “never stop being childish.” A quarter of men said they were actively immature (myself included).

spongebobundiesBut the surprising claim in this study was the actual age in which men do finally mature and take off the Sponge Bob boxers–the ripe old age of 43. That is more than 11 years later than the average age of maturity for women, which is said to be at 32.

Women were twice as likely to feel that they were the “grown up” in their current relationship and a quarter of women claimed they were the ones who had to make all the important decisions in the relationship. The same percentage wished their partner would talk about themselves and what they were feeling more often (feelings, nothing more than feelings).

Some 30% of women said they had ended a relationship because they lost patience with their man being overly immature.

And 46% admitted having had a relationship in which they felt they had to mother their partner a bit too much. Women claimed they had to tell their man to “act his age” more than once a month – or, on average, 14 times a year.

But 40% of people said they thought immaturity was important in keeping relationships fun and fresh and 33% said it helped bonding with kids.

I really don’t care how you look at it; I hit the big 4-0 this summer and was, up until reading this, really dreading that number. But now, I have a full 3 more years to be a jackass and have the scientific proof that not only is it ok, but it is absolutely normal.

Here are the Top 10 signs your man just may be immature…and completely normal!

immature-11. Finding their own farts and burps hilarious

2. Eating fast food at 2am

3. Playing videogames

4. Driving too fast or ‘racing’ another car at the lights or on the motorway

5. Laughing at rude words

6. Driving with loud music

7. Playing practical jokes

8. Trying to beat children at games and sport

9. Staying silent during an argument

10. Not being able to cook simple meals

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go crop dust a co-worker. I feel like I have “hot garbage” smelling farts brewing.

 

Comments

comments

6 Comments

  1. Gunship Load

    June 13, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    Rob,

    I’m plenty sure you have much more than 3 years…

    I’m sure that 43 is just an average!

  2. Sahal

    June 14, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    Happy 238th Birthday, US Army.

  3. Gavin

    June 18, 2013 at 8:12 am

    I’ve always considered myself ahead of the curve… so I should be able to maintain immaturity well into my 50’s.

    Boobies.

  4. Curt

    June 18, 2013 at 9:08 am

    Hell, I’m 48 with a 12-year-old sense of humor…

  5. Bill Epps

    June 18, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Meh, just another anti=male bashing study to rove women can do whatever men can do. Finding fun in a lot of situations and not acting like a stoic 80 year old, hardly constitutes immaturity. So if a man watches cartoons, he’s immature, but a woman is wise beyond her years as she watches soap operas or the Kardashian’s? Pulleeze.
    In my marriage of 23+ years we make most decisions together, but my wife generally leaves ‘the grown up stuff’ as she calls it, to me. That certainly doesn’t make her immature. And just because a woman feels the need to mother her man, doesn’t make him immature either. It makes her a control freak.
    I’m not offended, but I do think this is a stupid study

  6. SGT Airborne

    June 24, 2013 at 9:25 pm

    I wonder how many of the polled/interviewed/questioned came from military families though, or even cop/full time-firefighter/EMS. I can’t speak on the later three, but as a male soldier and veteran of multiple deployments, I know it takes a special kind of woman to deal with living with a soldier. Sort of opposite end of the spectrum, but I literally had a woman quit talking to me because I was “acting to serious” when talking to the Brigade Commander and CSM at a formal unit function. I was an E3 at the time, so both of them scared the shit out of me still and you bet your ass I stood at attention and gave yes sir/no Sargent Major and the like. I digress…

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