Semper Pink: Gay Marines Protest Possibility Of Female Infantry

From our friends at The Duffel Blog

San Francisco, California – The premier advocacy organization for gay infantry Marines released a statement today condemning the Marine Corps’ plan to open up the Infantry Officers Course to female volunteers.

The San Francisco-based group Semper Pink called the plan “an affront to the traditional Spartan values which we cherish as Marines.” The group also said that female grunts “will damage the closeness, intimacy, and brotherhood that comes with infantry life.”

In mid-April the Marine Corps announced plans to open up an indeterminate number of slots at its Infantry Officers Course in Quantico to female volunteers. In addition, the Marine Corps is developing physical fitness tests to establish gender-neutral standards for grunts.

Previously, women were only allowed to serve in non-combat roles.

Semper Pink spokesman Sergeant James Wagner, wearing a shirt that said “I keep my unit out of women, so keep women out of my unit,” said that allowing women into the infantry would force gay Marines to deal with lifestyle choices which they disagreed with.

“Plus, we didn’t join up to look at some nasty poon-tang!” he emphasized.

Sergeant Wagner also said that female infantry would be disruptive to unit cohesion.

“Suppose I happen to be out in town, and I see a male and a female Marine from my fireteam kissing,” he says. “Now any time we’re in combat I’ll have to wonder if he’s thinking of cradling me in his arms as I tell him that I love him with my last dying breath, or her skank ass.”

Reactions among other gay active-duty Marines were equally negative.

“There is no way to describe how offended I am,” said Staff Sergeant Tim Miller, a Drill Instructor at Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego who previously served as a TOW Gunner with 3rd Battalion 5th Marines.

“After almost twenty years of protesting and marching, we finally get access to the greatest sausage fest on the planet, and within six months the Marine Corps totally screws it up.”

Yes, there is more…

12 Comments

1. 

   Kyle

   July 25, 2012 at 1:33 pm

   Seems legit.

   Reply
2. 

   diggler

   July 25, 2012 at 1:34 pm

   chuckles

   Reply
3. 

   jimbo

   July 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

   please tell me this is a satirical joke article.

   Reply
   • 

     Jack

     June 7, 2013 at 5:02 pm

     It’s not, but so far all females have failed the IOC. 100 percent wash-out rate for women. Thats what I like to see.

     Reply
4. 

   SGT LaBar

   July 25, 2012 at 1:59 pm

   That is Goddam hilarious! I’m sure someone is bound not to see the irony, but great article.

   Carry on.

   Reply
5. 

   Victoria

   July 25, 2012 at 2:15 pm

   LMFAO! OMG I love this!

   Reply
6. 

   MSgt. Dodimead

   July 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm

   We all should be able to serve as we can. I support women and gays in their efforts for equality and being a patriot for ones country is not gender oriented. I am sure there are qualified women in our military who can lead our infantry. I will remind all vets that there was a Marine captain who was awarded the Silver Star who was gay and put out of the service for not denying he was gay. I believe it is absurd to believe that one can not serve based on their sex or sexual orientation. I have served many years to uphold the rights of all (Not Some) Americans. People let’s get it together and judge people by their accomplishments (Martin Luther King) and who or what they are. And, I agree with the above statement by Sgt. LaBar

   Reply
   • 

     Jonathan

     June 4, 2013 at 9:20 am

     I think some people who commented need to go check out The Duffle Blog…And work on recognizing sarcasm.

     Reply
7. 

   Conrad

   July 25, 2012 at 8:56 pm

   Whiskey……Tango……Foxtrot!
   “After almost twenty years of protesting and marching, we finally get access to the greatest sausage fest on the planet, and within six months the Marine Corps totally screws it up.”

   LMAO!!

   Reply
8. 

   SIRENSWAKE

   July 26, 2012 at 2:25 pm

   DAFUQ DID I JUST READ….?!?!?

   AND TO THINK… YOU DIDNT JOIN THE NAVY…..

   i don’t care. if you’re in the Military and you’re gay, fine. power to you for having the guts to join, i tip my hat to you for braving the hazing I’m sure you get on a daily basis. [HONESTLY] my point is, PLEASE stop bitching about females in the military, it doesn’t make you “cool” with the guys, nor does it increase your chances of getting laid by a non-gay service member. worried much??? BE WHAT YOU ARE, BUT NEVER AT THE EXPENSE OF SOMEONE ELSE.
   THIS ARTICLE IS F*CKING HYSTERICAL!! omg… tears. i can’t get over it…. this is the best laugh I’ve had in forever. someone is seriously butthurt over this. question to the gay Marines: so….what are the gay female marines supposed to do? stay home and make desk porn while the boys play GI Joes? perhaps you should think before you speak gentlemen. if a gay Marine can save your life, it doesn’t matter if she has a dick or not. and if your only issue is her being straight—THAN F*CK YOU. thats as stupid as the discrimination you suffer from… be mad bro,fine… BUT MAYBE BRING YOUR F*CKING A GAME AND YOU WOULDNT BE SWEATIN’ THIS SO MUCH

   SEMPER FI BOYS
   ^__<
   <3

   Reply
9. 

   ammiansell

   July 28, 2012 at 1:44 am

   A lot of people don’t agree with their lifestyle choice but we are forced to deal with it. They are probably afraid that a female Marine will be tougher than them.

   Reply
10. 

    ammiansell

    July 28, 2012 at 1:46 am

    A lot of people don’t agree with their lifestyle choice but we are forced to deal with it. They are probably afraid that a female Marine will be tougher than them. People need to grow up and learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them or their feelings.

    Reply