Ranger Up’s Product Review – Ranger Coffee

Updated: February 13, 2012

By RU Rob

Hi, my name is Rob and I am a coffee-o-holic!  I drink coffee from the time my eyes open, through the course of the day, until my head hits the pillow.  When we first discussed conducting product reviews for the Rhino Den I knew immediately where I would start…RANGER COFFEE!  A sucker for liquid crack, I was intrigued by their claim of Hyper-Caffeinated Coffee, and boy let me tell you I was not disappointed.

Before I delve into the coffee itself, it is import to know about the company.  Founded in 2005, Ranger Coffee is much more than just a good brew.  As their tagline suggests they are “serving those who serve.”  In an interview with Ranger Coffee president Rob Swartwood, an Army veteran himself, it is very evident that they are so much more than a cup of Joe.  According to Swartwood, “…vets play a key role in the future of our country.  Unfortunately, our fellow countrymen just don’t get it and the disconnect is a big one.   Education on our part is the key.  If we don’t make the kinds of investments that were talking about making in each other, then we’ve failed – we’ve set our kids and their kids up for a life of hand wringing and worry at the helm of a bureaucracy that’s too unwieldy to get it done quickly.”  Ranger Coffee is so serious about transitioning veterans that it has pledged 50% of its profits to transition assistance groups to solidify our veteran populace.

Ranger Coffee also has a program where you can donate coffee directly to deployed troops.  “Coffee for the Troops” sends a care package of coffee and a note from the donor directly to a service member who is signed up on their web-site.  The reviews have been fantastic and it sure beats the hell out of a freeze-dried package of 5 year old instant coffee in an MRE!

Now on to the good stuff, the actual coffee!  I have had the pleasure of gulping all five blends of Ranger Coffee and am currently sipping on a tall steaming mug of the Ranger blend, so let’s start there.  As described from the Ranger Coffee site: the Ranger blend – “Our signature coffee is a medium dark roast, full-bodied blend with a sweet, rich and nutty taste, an exotic blend of Ethiopian Harrar, Sumatran GM and Tanzania Peaberry coffees” (honestly I have no freaking idea what the difference is between a Harrar and a Peaberry, but it sounds really cool) “It is crafted using only Specialty Grade Arabica Coffee beans. They are carefully blended, and roasted in micro batches to ensure quality, and then immediately hand packaged to secure maximum freshness.”  Did I mention that Ranger Coffee uses a mad chemist to perfect the blend to extremely high standards?

I have tried a lot of different coffees in my time; from the extremely dark and finely ground to light and barely brewed.  This blend is one of the best that I have tasted.  It isn’t too dark and strong yet carries a natural boldness to jerk me awake after a short night’s sleep.  There is no bitter after-taste if I brew it a little too strong and the aroma is as arousing as morning wood!  Another good thing about Ranger Coffee is that they offer their goods in five pound bags. I will be buying the Ranger blend in bulk for a long time!

Moving on to the Airborne Halo Joe Hypercaff; this blend is NOT for the weak at heart.  Just like a roller-coaster, you should not drink this if you have a heart condition; are prone to motion sickness; pregnant; or lack testicular fortitude (I am just kidding of course).  When they say this coffee is hyper-caffeinated they are not kidding!  There is enough caffeine in here to power a small village in Africa for weeks! Again from their website, Ranger Coffee states: “HALO Joe, like regular Airborne Coffee, is a dark roast blend of Columbian Supremo, Ethiopian Yirgacheffe and Tanzania Peaberry coffee – but with approximately twice the caffeine!”   I can’t taste the difference between the Airborne and Halo Joe but I can definitely feel it.

I will caution you, this one packs a proverbial punch!  This is what you use when stuck out on an OP at 0300 after a long day of movements and need something to keep you awake.  Take a pinch of this, drop it in your lip like a dip of Copenhagen, give it 4 minutes to kick in, and enjoy the ride!  Airborne Halo Joe doesn’t have taste of a dark, strong coffee yet has the same effect.

Here’s the bottom line…I like Ranger Coffee.  I like what they are doing for the active duty, the veteran population and America as a whole.  This is a company I can get behind and support and will continue to do so as long as I can.  Consider it Rob approved!

Go check out Ranger Coffee and support veteran owned businesses.

Oh, and by the way, Ranger Coffee is giving away one 12ounce package of your Ranger Coffee choice to wittiest coffee related comment left below.

I’ll start… I like my coffee like I like my women – ground up and in the freezer!




  1. Stephen Geib

    February 13, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    I’ll stop drinking coffee when they show me the iv drip that puts it right into my bloodstream

  2. Rob (former action guy)

    February 14, 2012 at 12:20 am

    Awesome article Rob! Clearly a mainline with a bag of liquid caffeine attached is your style; forget the antropine but keep the injectors. They’re not letting you carry firearms still…are they? Don’t scare the natives; Ranger Coffee comes with a trigger-puller guarantee: if you miss under it’s influence, you didn’t drink enough in the first instance (and you need to learn how to shoot). Enjoy folks – we’re here as long as they’re there…

  3. rob

    February 14, 2012 at 2:35 am

    I like my coffee like I like my woman. Cold and Bitter.

    • Jason

      April 20, 2012 at 12:47 am

      You have met my ex-wife then?!?!

  4. John

    February 14, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Give me liberty or give me Ranger Coffee. If I cant have both, I’ll take the coffee.

  5. Sammy

    February 14, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Look: it’s either Ranger Coffee or Viagra; same effect, but without the lingering medical implications…

  6. the Dude from the Dos Equis commercials

    February 14, 2012 at 11:12 am

    (in the voice of the most interesting man in the world) “I do not always drink coffee, but when I do, I drink Ranger Coffee”

  7. Suzie Sizemore

    February 14, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Coffee with a mission, very cool. If I’m going to drink it anyway, might as well support the troops. I will be trying this! Thanks Rob

  8. Jenny likes her some cafe...

    February 14, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Did you drink the hypercaff today or are you just happy to see me?

  9. Bill

    February 14, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Two types of people in this world: those that drink Ranger Coffee and those that suck.

  10. Ain't messin around

    February 14, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Weapon: check; ammunition: check; kit: check; Camelback with some hypercaffeinated blend of Ranger Coffee: che-che-che-check. It’s go time! (easy there trigger finger)

  11. Timmy Timely

    February 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Does this guy Rob release comments from readers timely or what? Clearly the author didn’t have enough Ranger Coffee this morning. You’re supposed to drink it Rob, not snort it…

    • RU Rob

      February 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

      Sorry there Timmy, sometimes I get confused!

  12. Poet

    February 15, 2012 at 11:04 am

    I like my coffee like I like my Taliban… Burnt and ready to be consumed.

  13. Mat

    February 15, 2012 at 11:08 am

    I gave up coffee for 8 whole hours. It was the worst nights sleep i will ever have.

  14. Dean

    February 15, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    I like my coffee like I like my women, gets my blood pumpin and keeps me up all night

  15. BlueSheepdog_WA

    February 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    I like my coffee like I like my women – dark, hot and with lots of attitude!

  16. oldhuskerboy

    February 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Coffee and women don’t compare – one for sleeping and one for being awake, alert and ready. Don’t mess up my brew with any additives!!

  17. Signal_6

    February 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Starbucks is for Dirty Hippies!

  18. Dean

    February 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    I like my coffee like I like my women, gets my blood pumpin and keeps me up all night.

  19. George

    February 15, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    Ranger Coffee, that is all.

  20. So not appropriate

    February 16, 2012 at 12:02 am

    I used to tea-bag; now I Ranger-Coffee

  21. Suggestive

    February 16, 2012 at 12:07 am

    I awake and there you are – hot, steamy, fresh; I smell you and I can’t wait to taste you. You moisten my lips with warmth and anticipation. I cannot resist you…my love…Ranger Coffee.

    • RU Rob

      February 18, 2012 at 7:21 am

      WOW, for a minute there I thought I was reading a trashy love novel.

  22. krimpet

    February 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    Ranger coffee. I can’t wake up without it.

  23. Lewis Lauren

    February 18, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    To steal a line from a favorite hot sauce company: “Ranger Coffee: I put that sh*t on everything”

  24. Rob

    February 26, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    Don’t be a hero. Take a knee – drink Ranger Coffee.

  25. RU Rob

    February 28, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Congratulations to: Jenny likes her some cafe… for the winning comment. Jenny, please email your contact info to [email protected]

    Thank you to everyone who submitted comments, more contests to come!!!

    -RU Rob

  26. Glenn ROCK Benedict

    November 8, 2012 at 9:30 am

    I like my coffee so strong that it makes cocaine seem like a sedative!

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