Ranger Up Talks Suicide: Warrior Poetry – Forever Into Darkness
I wrote this poem while I was a patient in a psychiatric hospital last year. It captures the state of mind that I was in at the time, struggling with PTSD and suicidal ideology. It depicts the mindset and “reality” from the perspective of a distorted and very dangerous state of mind; a state of mind that I was able to change through a lot of therapy and support. This is a reminder of where I never again want to be. However, if I do, I know how and where to get the help that I need. The reason that I wanted this poem publicly displayed is to show that a person in distress can and will move forward. A warrior wounded, is one waiting to heal. Together we can strive, not just survive.
Forever into Darkness
Haunted by faceless faces
Drowning in oceans of disfigured remains
Distorted sounds and disorganized noises blend with images of stiff, naked bodies covered in lifeless blood
Tormented by violence, death and suicide
Suffocated by misery, guilt and fear
Long, restless nights endure for an eternity
Searching for an escape
Inching closer to the other side
Each passing day brings me closer to nowhere
Fantasizing of death, the comfort it brings
Wishing to spill my blood to release the pain
Drain the agony from my veins
Asphyxiated by the reality created in my brain.