Ranger Up Talks Suicide: They Say It Gets Better

 

By SGT B

One round prepared to blast

Thoughts racing, heart pounding

Considering the obscene

But a phone call saved me

 

I put on a hospital gown

Sobbing uncontrollably

Stepping into the ambulance

I wonder, how did I get here

 

A room with a camera

Four walls surround me

Trapping me, suffocating

Meant to prevent my demise

 

The doctor sees me

A plastic cup with pills

A mandatory sentence

72 hours to contemplate

 

It gets better he says

Put down the bottle

It’s going to kill you

But all I want is a drink

 

Thoughts of sand and heat

A sense of not belonging

Wishing I was still there

Unable to replace it

 

Family calls, concerned

Where were they before

It’s not their fault

I pushed everyone away

 

Struggling for years

Solace found in poison

The book almost closed

But a phone call saved me

 

 

3 Comments

1. 

   Kanani Fong

   September 9, 2013 at 3:08 pm

   Hey, this is really good. I know how hard it is to write a poem, and keep the meaning. Sharing your writing, your deepest thoughts means taking a risk, and I’m glad you’ve done so.

   Keep writing. The beauty of writing is that it allows you to get your feelings down on the page. Once they’re there, the editing process is the therapy. Grouping the words, taking some out, changing others, making the images more clear, and forging the strongest of sentiments and perspectives into solid lines.
   Anyway, I hope you’ll keep at it. Poetry is an artform worth staying in, and it will take you in and among new and great persons. It’s a journey, and I’m glad you’ve taken the steps. Check out the English poets from WWI. Wilfred Owen–one of my favorites.

   Reply
2. 

   J

   September 9, 2013 at 3:37 pm

   It’s true, a simple phone call changed my world. One call set into motion things that would change my entire outlook. My battle saved my life……call your battles!

   Reply
3. 

   Amy

   September 10, 2013 at 2:13 pm

   It took one call from my best friend who was an active Marine that saved my life one night. Now he resides in heaven and I miss him dearly as well as fear who will be there for me when I need that phone call again! I was never military but tried, father had other plans for me but my heart and soul reaches out to each and every one that will have me without abusing my love! I have one dear friend with ptsd and I try to reach out daily so he knows he is NEVER alone and ALWAYS loved! God bless you!!! <3

   Reply