Moving Sucks

Updated: August 14, 2011

By RU Contributor Rob

Moving sucks; there is no easier way to say it! Having grown up as an Army-brat and then joining the Army myself, I moved so frequently that it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Every 2-3 years, a moving truck with stinky, toothless crack-addicts would appear at my door, go to work with a flurry of activity…then haul all of my crap out to the truck and drive away, reappearing at my new location with my treasured items. Now, I have to pay for everything and it sure seems like a shitload more work. Why can’t I just hire Harry Potter to come and wave his wand with a “Movimus” spell and magically pack and move everything for me?

Now the time has arrived again. I have delayed the inevitable but it still has snuck up on me and now is the time for action not because I necessarily want to, but because I have to. I have to move. Not a simple move where I load up my car and simply drive a couple blocks over and then unload, but a full blown, pack everything in boxes and a big ass rental truck to drive across the country type move.

I’d rather chew on tin foil.

I have to admit, when I was still in the Army, I never had anything nice. Why? Because I knew that I was moving in a couple of years and it made absolutely no sense to buy nice furniture only to have it scratched or broken while on a boat going overseas. Ahh, the days of barracks furniture that were handed down from soldier to soldier, held together with 100-mile-an-hour-tape, and decorated with a newly bought flat-sheet from the PX. It made life so much simpler. It was cost effective and so worn out that it was comfortable at the most basic level.

A couple of weeks ago, Barrett wrote about how he has accumulated a certain amount of trinkets and collectables “because it’s cool.” I absolutely cannot say that I have trinkets, but I have a metric ton of crap! Why on God’s green earth am I still holding on to an old LBE magazine pouch? I don’t have an LBE to attach it to, not that I would wear it anyways. I was going through my bookshelf and found my Mortar Platoon SOP book. I think it is probably time to get rid of that as well. I really can’t see myself laying in a section of 120mm mortars in my backyard anytime soon or using BLACKHORSE to encrypt my grid location, the home owners association may have issues with that.

Have you ever noticed that higher quality furniture is A LOT heavier than the crappy ones? I am just now realizing this. I remember buying a $49 dollar dresser that I could easily wrap my arms around and lug wherever it needed to go. Now I have to have an extended furniture dolly, front and rear road guards with reflective vests, and clearance from the next higher echelon just to move it across the room. I am dreading trying to get that behemoth of wooden delight out of the bedroom and onto the truck and don’t even get me started on the armoire!

Oh how I want to go buy a rack of German beer (the Germans pack better when they have a buzz) sit back and just revisit the days of past as all of my crap just magically disappears and reappears. But alas, a job awaits me across the country and this shit isn’t going to pack itself!




  1. Phelps

    August 14, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Growing up dirt poor I grasped the “quality is heavy” thing quickly. Of course, that might explain my taste in rifles. (I’m going to get a Mosin as soon as I have a closet big enough to hold it.)

  2. 56082mom

    August 16, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Best of luck with your move & settling into your new home! Thanks for your service!!

  3. 00

    October 27, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Heh, the quality is heavy rule works for toilet paper pretty well too. Don’t try to figure out whether you use toilet paper by the sheet, the linear foot, or the square foot and compare the weight. More weight equals more toilet paper.

  4. Pat Knights

    December 25, 2011 at 3:12 am

    I hear you on the “heavy is quality” comment. I’m a mover (with no drug addictions) over breaks from schools and we’ve moved our fair share of heavy-ass oak furniture up flights of steps. If I hear “walk-up” and the end of the description for any job, I groan a little inside. I’ve also moved my fair share of fiber-board Ikea bullshit and I know that it’s heavy, but it falls apart in a minute. Moving sucks, but it keeps me in work because drill weekends don’t pay much. Save yourself, hire a mover. 😉

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