RTFU

Meet Patrick Miller

By
Updated: February 23, 2010

Staff Sergeant Pat Miller isn’t a fan of change. He spent 7 years in the same Cavalry unit at Fort Hood, despite being deployed three times to Iraq. That’s Cal Ripken, Junior dedication (you see, Cal Ripken Junior was this baseball player…). Although there’s no psychologist on the RU staff (though we all have Jamaican doctoral degrees), we’re pretty sure Pat’s unwillingness to change can probably be traced back to his daddy issues. Despite being born and raised in Wichita, Kansas, Pat decided to be an Oklahoma Sooner after falling in love with the musical. He also scoffed at his dad’s Harley to be a mud bogging, quad rider instead. To really piss of his old man, Pat “borrowed” his dad’s new Chevy Silverado one night, took it mud bogging, and got it stuck for hours. When he took it home, scratched all to hell and littered with beer cans, it ignited a biblical father-son throwdown like Abraham and Isaac, redefining the term “domestic altercation.”

We at RU know that all kids think their parents are full of crap until they become one (see…Jamaican degrees in action), so it was inevitable that Pat’s disdain for his dear pops would come to a screeching halt. One night he and his dad were working in a bar (his dad got him a job there-nice) when Senior Miller dropped three guys in one fight. Suddenly Patrick ate all his veggies and cleaned his room without being asked. That’s one reason we like him – respect for his elders.

Another reason we like him is he’s the freakshow circus strongman of his unit. Pat has wrestled since he was four years old and got into MMA by watching wrestlers like Dan Severn destroy guys in early UFCs. Now when his unit combatives training is done he frequently gets jumped by guys who think they can pin him. As a result Pat has become proficient at tying humans into knots like party balloons. The down side to being a wrestler atrociously bad striking skills. Pat has never thrown a straight punch in a fight and has only thrown three kicks in his career. That would probably get him knocked out like Damien Maia, but we like to think of him more as a larger BJ Penn, who also only throws kicks when they can end fights (ask Diego Sanchez).

Here are some other fun facts about him:

-Pat was trying to look tough at his first fight and was doing well until his kid asked, “After the fight can we get some candy?” Randy Couture once had the same issue.

-When his wife was pregnant, Pat figured it would be okay to fight in New Mexico on Halloween night. Baby girl had different plans. That’s right – early labor and a baby girl on Halloween night. Guess she knew daddy was about to dole out some pain.

-Pat’s toughness only goes so far – he has to wear a mask to change dirty diapers so he doesn’t throw up. Awwww…muffin.

-Pat is incapable of breaking 100 while bowling and frequently falls down on the slippery lanes. His friends asked him to join their bowling league just so they could laugh at Bozo the Clown on ice and put up the gutter bumpers.

Staff Sergeant Pat Miller will be headlining the South Texas Fighting Championships this weekend against Ricco Rodriguez.

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