Let’s Get Drunk

Updated: February 26, 2012

By Kelly Crigger

Is there any better advice for any situation…ever?

Don’t feel like going to class? Let’s get drunk and blow it off.

You’re a lazy, illiterate shit and text a lot? LGD.

Your son lost a basketball game? Let’s get drunk (assuming you weren’t already at the game).

You got drunk and made an asshole out of yourself at a kids basketball game? Let’s get drunker.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are coming to town? Let’s get drunk under the bridge.

Lost a buddy in combat? Let’s get drunk for your brothers in arms.

Successfully crossed the border with illegal paraphernalia? Let’s get drunk after you pull the bong out of your bung.

Flying across country in the middle seat? Let’s get drunk. And drunker. And even drunker. Flying sucks.

A liberal was elected in your district? Let’s get drunk and stay that way for four years.

You had a threesome and realized one was actually a dude. Let’s get drunk…and never speak of it again.

Went bankrupt on a ponzi scheme and have to move into a trailer? Let’s get drunk on PBR.

Had a bad day at the office and the flask you got as a Christmas gift is still full of whiskey in the top drawer? Break that bad boy out and let’s get drunk.

The hottie in your office blew you off because you got drunk and couldn’t think of a pickup line? Let’s get drunker.

You went home and loaded up all your guns to go shoot up the office? Let’s cool down and then get drunk.

Someone called the cops, they came to your house, and they found the arsenal you were going to use to shoot up the office? You’re screwed.


Add to the list. Come up with your own “let’s get drunk” situation.






  1. Matthew Todd

    February 27, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Fell down an 80 ft. rock cliff, broke both of your arms in the fall and almost drowned in the American River? Have a friend tape a 40 oz. to your cast and lets get drunk!

  2. Antonio Aguilar

    February 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Your buddy’s whole family forgot his birthday and his girl friend cleaned him out while he was in Iraq? Let’s go to the strip club and get completely blitzed.

  3. RU Rob

    February 27, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    RU Fighters win (as usual) bottoms up bitches!!

  4. Pat Knights

    February 28, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Don’t like any of the Presidential candidates? Let’s get drunk and revisit them.

  5. Bruce Ludington

    February 29, 2012 at 8:22 am

    You’re on month 6 of waiting for the VA to get you in to see that specialist? Put down the vicodin and let’s get drunk.

    • TMJ

      February 29, 2012 at 8:20 pm

      Take one Vicodin and let’s get drunk.

  6. Gregory Acres

    February 29, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Justice Holder allows illegal guns, which are still killing innocents, to cross the Mexican border and nothing is being done by our present administration. Lets get drunk.

  7. andyinsdca

    February 29, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Wife ran off with your best friend? Have a drink on behalf of the poor bastard (your friend)

  8. andyinsdca

    February 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    She’s pregnant!

  9. Camaron Penrod

    February 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Beer is now cheaper than gas?? Lets get DRUNK!!

  10. andyinsdca

    February 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    It’s not yours!

  11. Carter Lanning

    February 29, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Girlfriend gave you the clap 6 months into dating? Soothe your discomfort, lets get drunk.

  12. Black

    February 29, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Got orders for Korea. Let’s get drunk… for twelve months straight.

  13. andyinsdca

    February 29, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    It’s not yours! Let’s get drunk!

  14. DJ Wood

    February 29, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    You woke up with a hangover….no..hell, you woke up period. LGD!

  15. Doc Bailey

    February 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    It’s Moonshine Monday, Tequila Tuesday, Wasted Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fucked Up Friday, Shitfaced Saturday, or Sober Sunday just plain sucked.

  16. Mr. Twisted

    February 29, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Wife cheated on you while you are deployed? Let’s get…oh, can’t say that out loud… Let’s have near beer!

  17. andyinsdca

    February 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    Weird. It ate my follow-up. It’s not yours!

  18. Mr. Joe

    February 29, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Girlfriend cheated on you and left you. Let’s get drunk and post all the sexy pics she sent you on the net and hand them out at the bars and get drinker at said bars.

  19. Parker Wiley

    February 29, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    Have no idea what to do with your life after you get out? Let’s get drunk, open a bar, and help all our buddies get drunk!

  20. agentofwraith

    March 1, 2012 at 12:50 am

    don’t have a job even after coming back from down range last August…LGD!!!

  21. MacPointMan

    March 1, 2012 at 12:56 am

    Last day before you deploy to Assccackistan. Lets Get Drunk.

    First Stop in the USA while on R&R from Asscrackistan. Lets Get Drunker

    Just got back from Asscrackistan. Lets get Blitzed We survived.

  22. TygeRInfantrY

    March 1, 2012 at 4:44 am

    I have a friend just like this….man, my momma fell down the stairs, sorry to hear that man, U should have a drink!*LMAO* G’dammit rent is due, f*ck it LET’S GET DRUNK!!

  23. Name

    March 1, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    Sick about how everyone makes a big deal that it’s the first woman to ever be designated a certain rate in history on the news? Fuck that politically correct shit nobody really cares about; LGD!

  24. Sica

    March 1, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Husband move his new gf into your house while you are still living together? Lets get shitfaced!

  25. C.S.Chapman

    March 5, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Getting a cancer diognosis after a year and a half of suffering all the clasic signs the VA Hospital “missed/neglected” over the past few years..LGED{Let’s Get Extremly Drunk} before the next step in treatment takes place…

  26. DCFN Ball

    August 22, 2012 at 4:27 am

    Deployment got extended…again? Lets pull into port and get drunk!

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