By Kelly Crigger “Major Babyface thinks he can belt lift more...
Let’s Get Drunk
Is there any better advice for any situation…ever?
Don’t feel like going to class? Let’s get drunk and blow it off.
You’re a lazy, illiterate shit and text a lot? LGD.
Your son lost a basketball game? Let’s get drunk (assuming you weren’t already at the game).
You got drunk and made an asshole out of yourself at a kids basketball game? Let’s get drunker.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are coming to town? Let’s get drunk under the bridge.
Lost a buddy in combat? Let’s get drunk for your brothers in arms.
Successfully crossed the border with illegal paraphernalia? Let’s get drunk after you pull the bong out of your bung.
Flying across country in the middle seat? Let’s get drunk. And drunker. And even drunker. Flying sucks.
A liberal was elected in your district? Let’s get drunk and stay that way for four years.
You had a threesome and realized one was actually a dude. Let’s get drunk…and never speak of it again.
Went bankrupt on a ponzi scheme and have to move into a trailer? Let’s get drunk on PBR.
Had a bad day at the office and the flask you got as a Christmas gift is still full of whiskey in the top drawer? Break that bad boy out and let’s get drunk.
The hottie in your office blew you off because you got drunk and couldn’t think of a pickup line? Let’s get drunker.
You went home and loaded up all your guns to go shoot up the office? Let’s cool down and then get drunk.
Someone called the cops, they came to your house, and they found the arsenal you were going to use to shoot up the office? You’re screwed.
Add to the list. Come up with your own “let’s get drunk” situation.