It Only Takes a Minute

Updated: January 16, 2011

So there I am watching TV when a Bud Light commercial comes on and some jackhole actor is wearing an Army uniform that’s more painful to look at than a tabasco enema. I physically wince when I see it. He’s wearing four stray stars pinned to his beret, no unit patch, three rows of completely wrong ribbons, long hair, and a pair of binoculars so he looks like some modern day Patton.

At first it

It’s crap and I get irritated, but it’s also something that I should expect at this point. Television and movie makers RARELY get our uniforms right and seem to randomly throw anything shiny on a suit to militarize some actor who’s never served. It sucks, but it’s something we all notice and all live with.

Right now you’re thinking, “Dude…chill. It’s just a Bud Light commercial.” And you’re right. On the scale of things that matter, it’s pretty low. I should let it go.

But I can’t because it’s so easy to avoid. In our high-speed, superconnected world it takes mere seconds to Google “Army uniform” and get a link to AR 670-1 which outlines exactly ho to wear the uniform. I’m sure it’s the same way for the Navy, Marines, and Air Force, but I’m on a rant here and didn’t want to take the time to find out…which is exactly the problem.

People (probably some lowly grip) get in a hurry and figure “close enough is good enough.” I can’t count the number of times I’ve watched a movie, TV show, commercial, or whatever and seen a uniform that was being worn not just incorrectly, but stupidly. I even saw a Special Forces patch upside down in an old Vietnam flick once. I always chalked this up to ignorance, told myself we were better than that, and let it go. I even ascribed to that urban legend that the uniform was not allowed to be portrayed correctly…that it was required in Hollywood to make military uniforms off just a little bit for national security.

Bullshit. There is no such law.

There are uniforms in film that are just a little bit off and then there are the ones that are grossly schmaplicated. To me the really jacked up ones are downright disrespectful. All it takes is five minutes of research and a little respect to get the wear of a military uniform correct. We wear these uniforms with pride and put a lot of care into maintaining them. So when I see some actor portraying anyone from Private Ryan to General MacArthur looking like a dirtbag, it’s disrespectful and I’m going to boycott that product.

No more Budweiser for this curmudgeon. Who’s next?




  1. Grizzly

    May 24, 2011 at 8:10 am

    Sounds like it’s Miller Time!!!

  2. Falshrmjgr

    May 24, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Ought to start something like http://www.ar670-wtf.com

    Start a wall of shame.

    Haven’t seen that Bud-light commercial, but that is major league douchebaggery.

    I was subjected to this the other night, (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1758570/) and it felt like 2.5 hours of NOE rigged for a jump after chili-cheese fries at Green Ramp, and the pilots thinking they were Steve Canyon, Ace Pilot.

  3. Patrick Lasswell

    May 24, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Come up to Beevana in Portland, Oregon. The best beer in the world and all the hippies you can punch! Seriously, what the hell are you drinking pi$$water lager for, come up and drink some brew with so much hops you have to wear goggles to drink it! Or any of our hundreds of other premium craft ales. Sure, there’s Organic brews for the testicularly challenged, but there’s a lot of great malt beverage for people who care about how things taste.

    Get your hop on and come drink some real beer!

  4. Gregory Acres

    May 24, 2011 at 11:18 am

    I see nothing wrong with being proud of our military and demanding that the civilians “Get it right”. I’ve been watching as the author has. I firmly believe I can do with a lot less and have no problem boycotting those who don’t deserve my hard earned dollar. I applaud you for your convictions. My wife says I’m intolerant. I tell her I’m just passionate about my beliefs.

  5. Steve McCane

    May 25, 2011 at 6:59 am

    Here, here! I stopped drinking any beer of yellow color (and backing) years ago. For me, if it ain’t Irish it ain’t beer. So technically, I’m not sacrificing anything based on your aggrivation born of laziness and disrespect. But I support your premise totally. (21 years US Army, SFC ret.)


    June 5, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    they purposefully try not to imitate our uniforms verbatim because our enemies are watching EVERYTHING and it all policy for the army for hollywood. They have to have at least one thing wrong on the uniform.

  7. Phelps

    August 3, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    It seems disrespectful because that was the intent.

  8. Gunship Load

    November 1, 2011 at 11:26 am

    I might be way off base here, but I do believe there is something having to do with impersination of an officer???

    As far as I know R. Lee Ermey was/is the only one that has worn the uniform correctly in a movie, and the rumor I heard was that he had the USMC permission to do it?

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