Grammatical Retirement – “Going to War”

By Grin and Barrett

High time we retired another overused, under-thought phrase popular in today’s lexicon.  This time, however, the object of my grammatical frustration is not due to military abuse of the vernacular, but to that time honored tradition of wannabe-battle-tested “heroes” (see professional athlete) using militant language to describe sporting events.

The dictionary defines “war” as both an armed conflict between nation-states, and as active hostility or contention.  In and of itself, I have no serious beef with athletes referring to emotionally charged and significant athletic events as “going to war with the opponent.”  Just like I have no issue with corporate executives who paint a campaign of “going to war” with the competition.  Where exactly does this cross the line?  Where does the acceptable use of the phrase “going to war” begin to irritably grate on my skin?  When I hear phrases like these:

“We’re going into battle!  My teammates are my Soldiers, and we’re in a serious battle!”

No stud, they are not.  And neither are you.

“This game is going to be a war, nobody’s backing down, I’ll die for my teammates!”

Uh… sure.  Sure you will.

“This field (court) is our battlefield, we’re either going to survive or die out there today!”

Reaaaally?

“My teammates were my brothers/sisters, and we went into war, into battle together.”

No….you….did….not.

Listen, I have the utmost respect for athletes who put it all on the line, who approach every down like it is the game-winning play, contest every basket, run down every wide receiver, continue on after getting hacked, cross-checked, or forearmed.  I got it; they are studs, no doubt.  But they are not Soldiers.  They do not truly put their lives on the line, let alone in defense of home and country.  They do not leave weeping widows, orphans, parents who have to bury their children.  Their injuries are concussions, broken ankles, jammed fingers, ruined shoulders.  A Soldier’s injuries include loss of eyesight, missing limbs, chronic migraines and PTSD, horrific deformities and death.

This isn’t a pissing contest between Soldiers and athletes, it’s a reality check.  The reality is that our brave men and women sacrifice more than most people can possibly imagine.  No matter how many Welcome Home banners stream, no matter how many folks shake our Soldier’s hands at the airport and thank them for what they have done, there is no way to accurately describe or convey the physical, emotional and mental fatigue that accompanies a Soldier’s deployment, and subsequent return home.  Going to war is a sacred act, an integral part of the warrior’s spirit, a life and death pact with brothers and sisters in arms.  It is the pinnacle of worth, achievement and purpose for a Soldier; one that cannot be processed, canned, and sold as a catchphrase.

Unfortunately, it is treated that way.

Flippant rambles about going to war, going to battle, and the ever popular I-am-a-Soldier, litter the athletic field of play like discarded groupies after a playoff victory bender.  Convenient one moment, forgotten the next.

Going forward, we Soldiers will stick with our intramural sports and leave the big leagues to you.  When it comes to matters of war and sacrifice, however, why don’t you leave it to the professionals?

10 Comments

1. 

   Antonio Aguilar

   April 30, 2012 at 8:35 am

   Even worse would be the rapper/thug/gang-bangers who use the phrase “I’m a solja (soldier slurred horribly because they don’t seem to grasp the concept of enunciation)” non-stop.

   Reply
   • 

     Linda

     April 30, 2012 at 8:42 am

     Absolutely, Antonio!!!

     Reply
   • 

     Grin and Barrett

     April 30, 2012 at 6:23 pm

     Antonio,

     Thank you for pointing out my absolute knuckle-headedness in not including Soulja Boy for his idiotic rants. Not only does this piece of recycled douche paper call himself “Soulja,” but he had the inane un-thought to rap “F**k the army troops.” Shameless waste of oxygen…

     Reply
     • 

       Logan F. Crooks

       May 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm

       Absolutely on the “Soulgia Boy” thing, he is a retard, yet is liked by everyone for some reason, I can’t understand it. Here’s some links on “Soulja Boy Disses” by Military Members on Youtube.
       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpP-Pob9qCQ
       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPK6peEK0Lc&feature=related
       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7MmknYSPWs&feature=related
       There is more out there but these are the best and I couldn’t find too many of the rest.

       Reply
2. 

   Linda

   April 30, 2012 at 8:41 am

   Wonderful post. Those of us who served and never had to go into combat are so very appreciative of those of you who have. Even though we see you all coming back, even we can’t fully understand what you went through. Still tear up seeing the flag flipping in the wind, and not because of too many hormones, but because of those who gave it all so I could have the right to see my flag waving. You all are heroes, and those who claim their ‘wars’ on the field, just don’t have a clue. (except, perhaps, those with broke ankles and jammed fingers. hah)
   Blessings to all in the service of this country!

   Reply
3. 

   Mr. Twisted

   April 30, 2012 at 10:22 am

   Even worse — I work (sadly) in politics. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard someone speak about a political rally or event in regards to it being “like war.”

   This happened very recently. One of the guys said that a convention they went to was “like going to war” and I said “no, it’s not. You know what is like going to war? Actually going to war. And until you have friends that either don’t come back or come back missing parts of their body, then don’t talk to me about how it is ‘like war’ mmmkay?”

   I have heard no such references since making that remark.

   Great, great article, Grin and Barrett. Keep it up.

   Mr. Twisted

   Reply
4. 

   DAVE

   May 1, 2012 at 8:46 am

   YOUR SO RIGHT BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME ARE THE “HEROES” IN THESE “WARS” (SPORTS). THESE PEOPLE ARE PLAYING KIDS GAMES FOR A LIVING MAKING HUGE BUCKS AND THEY BECOME “HEROES” FOR DOING WHAT THEY’RE PAID MILLIONS OF BUCKS TO DO. WE KNOW WHO THE REAL HEROES ARE, AND THEY DO IT ALL DAY EVERY DAY AND FOR NEXT TO NOTHING. GOD BLESS THEM ALL PAST & PRESENT AND GOD BLESS AMERICA, HOME OF THE BRAVE

   Reply
5. 

   Rick

   May 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

   You hit a nerve there, brother. I can’t stand it when people talk about being “in the trenches” in reference to sports. Trenches? Really? What f*cking trenches? Strip away the high-dollar pay check, put an assault rifle in that mf’s hands, and let’s see what we have left.

   Combat vets, I salute you.

   Reply
6. 

   M. Bubba Blume

   May 8, 2012 at 11:44 am

   Pardon my language here….

   Fucking balls on dead fucking accurate. I’ve been talking about this for years. My rant does however include the use of any war/military rhetoric in sports or politics or business. It cheapens and demeans the actual wars and battle that are occurring. And no one who’s served in uniform deserves that.

   Well fucking written.

   Reply
7. 

   Rotti

   May 8, 2012 at 2:44 pm

   Thanks for a great article. My $.02, part of the problem is the war on seemingly everything: The war on drugs, war on poverty, war on terror, war on women, war on raw milk, war on cats wearing silly hats… you can add “war on” to your list of grammatical retirements unless it’s followed by the name of a recognized country or combatant group.

   Reply