Douchebag Democracy

Updated: March 10, 2014


By RU Twisted

Ahh, election season is upon us, once again. Yes, I realize that it’s only March, but the campaigns are already kicking off all across the country as ambitious do-gooders try their best to gain the power needed to control your life from afar.

Because of this—and because of our dedication to bringing you the most relevant (and hilariously stupid) news regarding the political sphere—this will be the first installment of a series that aims to point out the silliest and most ridiculously-outrageous of political campaigning from around the country. Whether it be cheaply-made commercials that beg to be laughed at, blatant propaganda, or flat-out lies, the intent will be to showcase the worst of the worst that the election season has to offer, just to reassure you of how out-of-touch most politicians are.

Take, for example, this week’s first candidate. Senator Mark Pryor (D-AR) is up for reelection. His challenger, Representative Tom Cotton (R-AR), is a Ranger qualified, former Infantry Officer who is a Veteran of both Iraq and Afghanistan—qualifications that Sen. Pryor say give Cotton a “sense of entitlement” about serving in the Senate.

Yup. He said that. Out loud.

Sen (D) Mark Pryor and Rep (R) Tom Cotton

Sen (D) Mark Pryor and Rep (R) Tom Cotton

He then proceeded to bury himself even deeper into the stupid by claiming “that’s not how it works in Arkansas.” Perhaps not; Pryor is, after all, an expert on how things work in Arkansas because his daddy was both Governor and Senator from the same state.

I’m sure that didn’t give young Marky Mark a “sense of entitlement” at all.

He also stated that there are “a lot of people in the Senate that didn’t serve in the military,” as if to claim that this is proof of military service not being a helpful qualification for doing so. I wonder if he is smart enough to make the correlation between the disastrously low approval ratings of Congress and the lack of connection they have to the general public. This quote would indicate that he clearly does not.

You can watch the quote here:

That man you just saw is a United States Senator. Arguably one of the more powerful people in the country. And that’s how he feels.

Soak it in because it’s only going to get worse. Rest assured, this series will pull no punches for any political party or affiliation. If it’s stupid, we’ll point it out, and you can keep score at home of who’s winning.

Granted, we’re all losers in this race, as it is once again going to be a contest between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. So pull up a chair and hang on—it’s gonna get ugly.




  1. Jim Reed

    March 10, 2014 at 8:29 am

    I am Jim Reed. I am a retired LTC and former 18D who spent 9 years in a medical unit that supports SOF out of Bragg. My son is an 11B in the NC ANG and a sophomore at NCSU SMP cadet. My daughter is USMA class of 2018. I am taking the fight to secure what we’ve earned to DC and this will be a priority. RESPECT, is what WE have all earned through our service. I have recently done 2 pieces for national media. Below are the links.



    We live in Pinehurst and are huge fans of Ranger Up and the Rhinoden. I spent a lifetime in the shadows. NO MORE. SEN Pryor will hear from all of us soon. I will be a part of the IAVA Storm the Hill Campaign March 24-28 to bring awareness to our cause.

    I encourage you to keep up the fight. Thanks for all you do.


  2. Just another Dirt Bag

    March 10, 2014 at 11:46 am

    I predict that we will see more of this attitude and this kind of rhetoric over the next few years.

  3. Jared

    March 10, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    Very similar things happen whenever an incumbent is challenged by folks with substantial military credentials. I think the perfect example is Tommy Sowers (D) campaign against Jo Ann Emerson (R) in Missouri in 2010. It turns out that she received a ton of money during the final 2 months of the election from the Koch brothers and buried a multiple tour, Special Forces Officer with standard flag waiving, partisan crap.


    And absolutely the crap that Saxby Chambliss (R) – Georgia pulled on triple amputee from Vietnam and incumbent Senator Max Cleland

    See 2002 Election


    I hope this blog does what I truly believe is needed and that is educate veterans and military on the real political world and not the shittastic smoke blowing parade that either side of the isle may want you to see at that moment… and do it in the delightfully sarcastic way that makes Ranger Up and the Duffle Blog so bad ass. I am a little concerned however, that the first story is about an esoteric statement that a random ass douche-nozzle Congressman made, and not the absolute Railroading of Senate Bill 1982 by all but 2 Republican Senators. I digress, but please for the love of God, don’t make this blog partisan. Please just objectively let the world know who supports Veterans, who supports the Active Duty military and doesn’t. Voting records are more important as well than campaign speak. I’ve spent years watching elected officials come out to every Veterans Day parade and luncheon and say just what everyone wants to hear, but when it comes to voting to expand V.A. Health Care benefits and the Service Members Civil Defense Act, then they try to amend the bill with non-germane amendments and once those amendments get shot down, they pout, cry and don’t vote for Veterans.


    • Mr. Twisted

      March 10, 2014 at 8:54 pm


      Thank you for the comment.

      To address your concern about this being an “esoteric statement” rather than a bill that is actually in Congress, refer back to the opening lines of this article. The intent of this series will be to note the silliness that goes on in campaigning for election and reelection during the coming year.

      As for making it partisan/not partisan, it is absolutely my goal to target all stupidity, no matter the party affiliation. I personally don’t believe in the political parties as they are set up, so that’s an easy thing for me, and Ranger Up/The Rhino Den has done a fairly decent job, in my opinion, of pointing out the idiocy of all, not just one “side” or the other.

  4. Chris

    March 10, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    Funny how the article is about Mark Pryor. Here is a clip from Bill Mahers “Religulous” where Mark states his most infamous quote to date.


  5. Jake

    March 12, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    The way this country is going with its peoples’ view of veterans, we should have separate drinking fountains, ride on the back of the bus, and eat in the kitchen, so there’s no misconceptions of entitlement I guess. We wouldn’t want to be on the same level as those who didn’t serve, what the fuck! We’re all nothing but dirt stained grunts, smart as a bag of hammers eating our humble pie and MREs to them aren’t we? We’re not supposed to run for political office against the fuck stains who never wore the uniform or dismissed the thought to serve quicker than shit so they can join some dumb ass fraternity they can’t try to use to get into a job, and rub elbows with someone at said company who might be a fellow “brother”, going out to fancy dinners worth too much for a cut of cows ass, who can get them back doored into a political position. Boy, I guess I’ll keep plugging along in labor intensive jobs for shit pay, I wouldn’t want some fuck tard getting the impression I think I’m entitled to a better job with better pay because I’m a veteran, never mind the fact I went to college after the military. I guess we’re just yes men, we’re not supposed to take the dome of obedience off and actually apply ourselves to anything else. Pryor’s problem is, and I’m just guessing here, is, here’s a real threat, a guy who’s had the time to go to college, join the military, become an infantry officer, go through some hookah schools, play in a couple sand boxes, make something of himself and run f

  6. Jake

    March 12, 2014 at 8:59 pm


  7. Jake

    March 12, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    For the same political office as me. Shit, how do I measure up? Shit, I really don’t, let me sling some mud at him and say he thinks he’s entitled to this position because of his veteran status, that’s it! Fucking fat ass knob washer.

  8. Jake

    March 12, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    That’s supposed to be hookah schools, fingers are too big f

  9. Jake

    March 12, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    Hooah schools, fuck, damn auto correct.

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