Douche of the Week – PVT Bradley Manning

Updated: August 21, 2013

Editor’s Note: This story originally ran on January 22, 2012.  PVT (EIOU1) Bradley Manning was found guilty of 19 charges on July 30, 2013 which include 6 counts of espionage.  While found not-guilty of the most serious charge of aiding the enemy, Manning has been sentenced to 35 years of making big rocks into little rocks and little butt holes into big butt holes. Just in case you were wondering what we thought of “Fab Brad” before his trial, we revisit him as our Douche of the Week winner. Oh and for the record….the sentencing was way too lenient in my humble opinion.

By RU Rob

First, let me say that in general, I wholeheartedly support the actions of our service members in their daily duties across this vast world. That being said, when a “grabtastic piece of amphibian shit” rears his ugly head only to steal the oxygen from us and besmirch those who so gallantly stand watch, it is my official duty to not only highlight the douchieness of said individual but to also provide a first class, fucktastic beat-down of epic written proportions.

So… let the games begin!

If you have never heard the name PFC Bradley Manning let me give you brief run-down of his alleged accomplishments, I say alleged as he has not yet been convicted of his endeavors. Bradley joined the Army in October 2007 as an (supposed) intelligence analyst and was initially assigned to Ft. Drum, NY where he worked, I refuse to say served as he was a self-centered twit, with the 10th Mountain Division. It was from there that he was deployed to Iraq in October 2009.

I do solemnly swear…that I’m a douche.

Before I go on, I want to say that some will argue that Mr. Manning had all sorts of psychological issues, including gender confusion. I acknowledge that, and am aware of notes made regarding his mental health history, but that is a pretty freaking lame excuse for what comes next in the history of this fuck-nugget!

While in Iraq, Bradley–boy had access to top level reports, not just from the military but the entire U.S. This network of information was designed as a specific intelligence clearinghouse to those deemed “worthy” to access it. It was in this network which Mr.-I-do-what-I-fucking-want-without-regard-to-any-one-else-Manning took it upon himself to randomly browse and download to his personal data storage units, including overwriting a CD of Lady GaGa with Top Secret information from the State Department and other agencies. It was only a month into his tour in Iraq that Manning decided to leak all of the information collected to the infamous Wikileaks website (a similarly douchestastic organization).

The information allegedly leaked by Manning was a slew of randomly collected and extremely damaging documents from the U.S. relating to combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan as well as communications from U.S. Embassies across the globe. And it wasn’t only written communiqués that Bradley was leaking, but also videos taken in combat zones.

Bradley’s ex-boyfriend ratted him out to the FBI (never piss off an ex) and he was arrested in May of 2010. He was immediately sent to the jail at Quantico, VA and the pussified activist community immediately started bitching about the quality of his detention as he was essentially placed in solitary confinement due to the structure of the facility. This was repeatedly dismissed by the military as they repeatedly sent numerous inspectors there who had the same conclusion, his detention was lawful and warranted due to the nature of his crimes.

Time has passed and earlier this week, an Article 32 (the military equivalent of a grand jury) found enough evidence to proceed to a Court Martial of PFC Manning. What this means is that this little floating turd is going to trial…yippee-kai-yay! His attorney’s argued that the charges should be reduced so that the Brad-meister would only face 30 years in prison as opposed to the prosecution who wanted life! Well, the extremely sexy, Lady Justice prevailed and Manning faces LIFE when convicted (yes, I carry a positive outlook on this issue) and is set to go to trial in the upcoming months. I will be one happy camper when this shit-tard is flushed into the custody of the Bureau of Prisons!

While I would really, really like to send PFC DipShit to Douchebagistan, I truly believe he is best kept right where we have him….bent over in the shower!





  1. Antonio Aguilar

    January 23, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    This little shit gives a bad name to 10th Mountain and the Intelligence Community. I was in 10th Mountain; not my favorite unit I was ever in but there were some good guys there still and he only put a blemish on what could otherwise be a great unit. On top of that, he just made the oxymoron of “military intelligence” even more true. Everyone who sympathizes with this little fuckstick can feel free to join him in his cell.

    • Contractor

      June 12, 2012 at 7:45 am

      You mean to tell me there was a good name for the 10th MTN and the Intel community before this happened? Just kidding, but not really.

  2. JMC

    January 24, 2012 at 8:11 am

    How can anyone join him in his cell when he’s essentially in solitary? (Sorry, just had to get that one out! ;D) That being said, the only difference between him and Jane Fonda (besides the obvious! ;D) is that she got off scot-frikkin’-free because she was a celebrity. I’m told by a friend of mine who works in the Pentagon that there’s a picture of her pasted up IN a urinal; I suspect Manning’s mug shot will probably be joining hers in the near future.

  3. The_VIKING

    January 24, 2012 at 8:52 am

    My only problem with this entire thing is that he got life. Now this panty-waste fucktard is going to be a burden on me by paying for a roof over his head while he does time. IMO, he committed this treasonous act during wartime therefore he should be executed. Problem solved…problem staying solved!

  4. Tom from Roanoke

    January 24, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Being in prison is probably one of Mannings secret fantasies, a world of only men with no need to work for your meals. I hope he chokes on a cock, or better still is shanked by a prisoner who is a criminal but nevertheless has an iota of patriotism intact. WTF is a piece of shit like this doing in the military anyway? I served in the mid 70’s, and while we had some turds too they never would have gotten such a high level security clearance after any sort of background check.

  5. Mike McKinney

    January 24, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Thank you immensely, I’m so glad somebody finally calls it like it is. This little pissant should be convicted of treason and executed, plain and simple.

  6. S

    January 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    I disagree with the correlation of this shitbird to the 85th degree with Hanoi Jane, one this fuck for brains was a “working” member of the military and he gave secrets to an enemy( he is up there with Ames ) and he should be shot for treason, flogged for sedition and his head put on a pike and sent to that cocksmoke pedophile in Australia…

  7. NAVY 85

    January 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    This guy should be in Guantanamo taking turns sharing cells with his buddies

  8. Gunship Load

    January 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    I believe once upon a time Treason was an offense punishable by death….

    Does anyone else miss “The good ol’ days”??

  9. Antonio Aguilar

    January 25, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Putting up his picture in the urinal is probably what he wants; some people are into the golden shower thing…

  10. Lovemule

    January 27, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Being a USAF IA this guy has given us all a bad name. Id like to curb check this punk.

  11. BlueSheepdog_WA

    February 1, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    Add me to the list of people who would like to see this asshat stood up against the wall and shot for treason. I’m sure there would be no shortage of volunteers to fill the firing squad billets…

  12. cavlrrp

    February 7, 2012 at 9:32 am

    Bent over in the shower? Nah he would enjoy that to much. He showers alone!

  13. David

    February 10, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Fuck this fag. I hope he gets buttfucked by a 14 inch cock and it rattles his insides

    • AK

      September 9, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      No, that’s exactly what he wants. I want him to share a cell with hasan and his now baby-smooth face. I think they would be perfect cell mates.

  14. A

    March 21, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    He did one good thing and that’s leaking the video of the Apache firing on civilians and then firing on an ambulance(that had children in it.) Which we all know is against the Geneva convention and a war crime. Buuuuuuut that’s about it. He should’ve just kept it at that.

  15. Napout

    April 3, 2012 at 11:23 am

    wow, did you really attempt to defend this douche in any way? how about keeping your “we are the world” comments to yourself? And i dont care if you think hes cute, dude. just shut up

    • A

      May 20, 2012 at 1:52 am

      I’m not defending him as a person, I can’t make assumptions about who he is because I don’t know him personaly. The only thing i defended was his action. Things like this (the apache video) need to be reported and shown to the public, honestly I think it was his moral obligation to show the world that. We are in Iraq and Afghanistan to help not kill the innocent. I would like to add that I do Love our military and support every single Soldier, Marine, Sailor, and Airmen, Because I’m pretty sure you’re going to add “Dirty military hating hippie” or something along those lines into your response.

  16. 13Fguy

    July 5, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    So “A” you say we are in Iraq to help? Just how many times have you been there yourself to help? I know in my “deployments”, <– see the S on the end…means more than once, I didn't care about helping anyone but the man to my left and right…everyone one else could die. Seriously…..if I kill insurgent number one I better kill his whole blood line, if not someone is pissed and out for vengeance…so, who are the innocent again? This cumbubble needs to be drug behind a brad on a tank trail!! Fuck anyone who says different and thinks his actions where honorable…..if he wanted to do an honorable action he should of died for his country. But it is because of Constitution abusing Americans like you that we face so many struggles in the military. Who cares how we do it, your ass is free and we are paying the bill. Be happy be quiet or be gone!

  17. Voice of Reason

    August 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    You forgot the part in your article where he was attacking female officers and enlisted women. He’s a selfish waste of life. I hope he goes to prison for a very long time.

    • Voice of Reason?

      August 14, 2012 at 12:07 pm

      Attacking female officers? Were you there? I doubt it, no officers were physically harmed in the gross breach of national security. And the enlisted “women” was one body building female Specialist that probably could have taken the entire Brigade S-2 she worked in.

  18. American trash

    July 25, 2013 at 5:46 am

    Lmao if this article and thread aint the most redneckish shit I ever read I’m my life. This sounds like the person who wrote this keeps coming on to reply to his own rant because he is rocking an extra chromosome and rocking it hard. This thing sounds like the stiffler wrote it. Homestly you should’ve been swallowed or at the very least spit back at your father. Your the reason for pro choice. The thought of you keeps abortion clinics I’m business. Bradley manning is a hero, you scum in the military that kill innocent people and call it pride should be raped profusely by a shaved camel. How can you sound so bad ass hulkamania about one thing but be so scared of the enemy. Sounds like you guys are tough in an apache but wearing depends on the ground. I served my country and at no point was it ever ok to attack civilians, hey idiot they where a news team with kids. Did you see the video or was Uncle Sam eye fucking you? There was no threat the trash sick excuse for soldiers made jokes about it. I’m embarrassed that they even are apart of the same country as I am as a citizen lets not even touch how I feel about them calling themselves soldiers. Again the author wrote this and replied to his own article, look at the dates and time. You will see a pattern. I hope you open your eyes and close your other three holes, because you keep getting fucked in them. I took an oath to defend this country, not make a mockery out if it by acting like an inbred cowboy from a trailer in some nuclear test site. Go back to the hills with the rest of you family. Go get drunk and slap your sister wife and tell her how much of a bad ass you are because you called a real soldier a fag bag cockturd and what ever other turrets mouth fart sounding words your brain can mustard up before you have to stop so you can save enough brain power to sign your name tomorrow when you go to take your sister to get an abortion because you already have to many son nephews.

    • A

      July 30, 2013 at 11:51 pm

      Couldn’t have said it better myself. Red neck ignorant shit. I like how he was so intent on stating he’s been on more than one deployment while defending killing innocent civilians. Keep your nihilistic posts to your facebook. Fucking trash makes me sick.

    • umberto

      September 4, 2013 at 5:52 am

      Preach brother or sister. We took an oath to defend this country. Not to kill innocent civilians. Seriously waaayyyy too many rednecks just want to kill people but thats counter intuitive to coin operations. sister wives ha thats funny.

    • Hexmate

      September 8, 2013 at 3:57 pm

      AT – It is obvious you have a serious case of RCI. You should go to the nearest ER to have that extracted before it gets infected.

  19. Ross Kardon

    July 30, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Since Bradley Manning is already a queer, I suppose going to prison for him will be like getting sent to the Playboy Mansion, for a heterosexual like myself!

  20. Larry Nosker

    August 21, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Just a question: While what he did was despicable has he been drawing his pay like the Murderer at Ft Hood. Just curious

    • Rob

      August 21, 2013 at 3:58 pm

      As a matter of fact, yes. Manning has been racking up that awesome E-3 pay since his imprisonment.

  21. coldby

    August 21, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    don’t tell me you were over there trying to find wmd’s or al-sicaeda. thats fucking bull. you merely were occupying bullshit to build a walmart and put up verizoons. thank you for your service.

  22. Jimbo

    August 21, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    Damn you people are just plain stupid. He exposed the anti-humanistic war crimes, and is sent to prison . Shame on you people, at least the other half our country still has a brain.

  23. DocLawrence

    August 22, 2013 at 9:18 am

    So not only is he a subhuman piece of excrement, hes a wierdo too? “I am Chelsea Manning. I am female.” Ya, you turds that rally around him continue to do so.

  24. Dawn

    August 23, 2013 at 3:25 am

    They should have strung the bastard up or at least aided the tax payers by putting his ass in front of firing squad!

  25. Chris

    August 24, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    I saw Manning when I did a tour of Ft. Leavon Worth. What a little piece of garbage. How people on here can defend him is beyond me. He got a lot of our spec ops brothers killed by leaking the info he did. He should be dropped in Eastern Afghanistan (outside of a TOC for once) to fend for himself. If he experiences what Soldiers go through on mission, he may have thought twice about leaking info. 99% of the shit he leaked was not out of moral obligation. It gave away spec op intel and locations. It’s pretty easy to leak a video of an ambulance getting fired upon. It’s another story to explain who was actually in that “ambulance.”

  26. Me Right U Wrong

    September 4, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Leave Chelsea alone! He…..She’s been through a lot! As a transracial black man in a white man’s body I can relate to her struggle.

  27. murphy2292

    December 17, 2013 at 8:59 am

    Guy’s I served out there aswell, however killing civillians was not my job. Those who shot at us got the fucking good News, and we got a few IED planter’s aswell. Seriously Guy’s you just cant raise your Rifle and drop innocent Civillians think about it? this does not say to much about your Training. If you are Regular Pro’s you get a Confirmed ID on the Target(or the cunt is shooting at you already)
    Like we say over here big Boy’s Game Big Boy’s Rules, however respect all non Combatants even if you know he’s watching and Reporting you can only nail em when they are actively involved. What Bradley Manning did is Punishable but also his Duty. Think about it.

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