by Nick Palmisciano We need to step up. All of us....
Douche of the Week: Veteran Clothing
Editor’s Note: There is neither anything illegal about the name Veteran Clothing nor is there anything illegal about us writing about their douchbagedness. -RU Rob
By RU Contributor Jack Mandaville
Holy titty-sprinkling hell. Where do I start?
Alright, if you haven’t heard about this shit-show, let me give you a brief background.
The blog Guardian of Valor first broke this story a few days ago after numerous readers brought the nature of Truong’s business to their attention. They were concerned with the fact that his clothing line—again, titled “Veteran Clothing”—was misleading people due to the fact that, get this, nobody involved with the company is a Veteran.
Now, to their credit, GoV initially contacted Truong in private. Here’s an excerpt from his response:
“The term ‘Veteran’ is not only towards The Military. Yes, Veterans in the Military are much respected and Veterans in other fields are respected as well. The definition of ‘Veteran’ is a person who has had long experience in any particular field.”
You know what? Truong’s right. The term “Veteran” can be used in reference to numerous occupations. Truong’s response would have sufficed if the name of his company was the only concern. There are a few problems, though. The main being that he has marketed apparel with a military theme—like a shirt and jacket that says “Salute Me,” and the best of all: A Purple fucking Heart plastered right on the breast of one of his shirts, with George Washington’s image replaced by his company’s “V” logo.
If that’s not enough evidence to give you an immediate douche verdict, I’ve got more.
Veteran Clothing’s Facebook page was loaded with homoerotic-looking models posing with their wear in front of what looked like a war memorial—one of these photographs, in which the model was wearing the “Salute Me” shirt, shows him tritely saluting the sky while standing next to an antiaircraft gun.
This, my friends, is undoubtedly meant to be deceptive and make a buck off of unsuspecting buyers.
Of course Billy and company dispute this accusation, maintaining that their company is—and I’m paraphrasing here—urban/street wear for 16 to 24 year olds. And again—according to posts on his company’s Facebook page—Truong reminds us that you “can be a Veteran in anything.”
Thanks, Billy, but I have one question for you: With the exception of war Veterans, how the fuck can anyone be a Veteran in something when they’re 16 to 24 years old? Mind you, I was already a “war Vet” at age nineteen. But I’ll fully admit that, even though I had experienced certain realities that most haven’t, I was still naïve as shit about life and wasn’t even close to being an expert in anything other than driving an armored vehicle and pulling a trigger—not to mention my vast knowledge and expertise in getting my ass chewed by my NCOs.
Trust me, I know guys like Truong: Upper middleclass, repressed abandonment issues, and a shameless will to climb the top. Not only that, judging by his Pauly D-like haircut and yearning to be “street,” Truong’s only real experiences with urban life have been his mother dropping him off downtown on Saturday mornings so he can go do flip-kicks and summersaults with his Parkour club. That’s gangsta, brotha!
• I’m a Veteran basketball player because of those twenty games I played in junior high school.
• I’m a Veteran of the porn industry because of that missing video of me and the ex.
• I’m a Veteran musician because of my mastery of the recorder in 4th grade.
• I’m Veteran writer because of that literary agent who returned my email.
You get the point.
Now, in Billy boy’s defense, he and his company did issue a letter of apology and intent. They also promised to discontinue the Purple Heart shirts. Awesome.
I recommend you read it for yourself, but here’s a brief summary (according to me, the most reliable source in America):
This is the Federal definition of Veteran. We didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone’s hating on us. Stop sending us negative emails. We’re going to make changes to appease you. We’ve got the paperwork to prove we’re legit.
It wasn’t really an apology, rather a better worded defense. Whatever.
While he was making a public statement to appease the Veteran community, his Twitter account was singing a different tune. It was essentially a mesh of tweets saying how he won’t be brought down, bragging about his increasing likes on Facebook from the exposure, and how we’re all haters—not to mention the impressive picture of the kush he was harvesting. Furthermore, on a separate Facebook page, Truong wrote this in the about section:
“If you are an old veteran and just want to say that we don’t deserve to give the name of Veteran for this company leave this page immediately because you are immature and you don’t understand the concept of this movement.”
Old Veteran? That motherfucker! I’m in my goddamn prime, bitch!
See, Billy didn’t realize one of the most discerning factors about American Veterans: We’re the most resourceful motherfuckers on this planet… and people got screenshots of this stuff. So his apology is pretty null at this point.
Truong’s decision to substitute the real Veteran definition of “Honor, Courage, and Commitment,” for the more popular “Bitch, I gotta get paid,” is the reason why he’s our Douche of the Week. And since he loves the idea of being street, he will be forced to play a never-ending game of bones with Alfred Ponzi, Kenneth Lay, and Bernie Madoff. Lastly, from this “old” Marine Vet, I just want Billy to know that he can Semper suck my balls.