Editor’s Note: Memorial Day Weekend can be tough for many of us...
Douche of the Week: The Youth of America
By Mr. Twisted
Yeah, yeah, I know… That’s a vague title for Douchebaggery and, sadly, in most ways pretty obvious. But after a couple things popped up this week, I felt that the current crop of under 21-ers (that’s what I’m labeling youth—deal with it) needed a special hazing.
A recent study—conducted by some group who I’m sure is important but don’t really care about their name—showed that the current crop of college freshmen is in fact the biggest bunch of douchebags our country has ever produced. Due to their inflated sense of entitlement and ridiculously poor test scores, it has been decided that those entering college this year are by far and away the most snot-nosed, insolent group of “adults” the ranks of higher education has ever seen.
There is a lot of speculation about why this is so. Absolutely none of it will surprise you in any way.
Some of the “experts” have suggested that all of the namby-pamby, feel-good, pro-self esteem garbage that kids have been fed over the last decade or so has, get this, had disastrous results on those entering into adulthood. The unwillingness to tell those under four feet tall that they are inadequate at…well, anything…has resulted in a current crop of college students that believe everything should be handed to them on a silver platter, cooked to perfection as per every one of their whims and desires.
The only thing that is in any way shocking about any of this is how long it took the “experts” to figure this shit out. For the love of all that is good and pure on this earth, how anyone did not see this coming years ago is beyond me. We as a nation have been raising a whole nation full of whiny-ass, spoiled brats that never “lose” at anything because their moms were convinced that it would hurt their almighty self-esteem. The children of soccer moms have grown up believing that they could do anything—that if they just wanted something bad enough, it would be theirs for the having.
They believed all of this because they were told it from the time they were born. They were told that they could do anything, be anything, or have anything they wanted because to tell them anything different would hurt their delicate feelings.
These sentiments were backed up by “experts” in the field of psychology who stated over and over again that a child’s self-esteem was everything; that how they felt was instrumental to their success in life and that if they didn’t get positive reinforcement at every turn, they would probably turn out to be serial killers.
All of this is, of course, complete and utter bullshit, and a good portion of us have known that for a very long time. We have known that getting slapped down for being stupid, for lying, for stealing, or for doing a half-assed job due to all-around laziness is what a lot of kids need. We have known that having kids compete against one another in sports or for grades teaches lessons that have to do with this thing we call “life” and that, if those lessons aren’t learned early on, this little thing we call life is going to kick your ass down its very long, hard road.
We know that to be truly good at something takes hard work—not platitudes.
We know that to be successful, one must endure some pretty hard times—not just play video games and hit the reset button every time it goes poorly.
We know that sometimes the best way of finding out the most valuable lessons in life is to have your teeth kicked into the dirt and told you aren’t good enough.
There is a very large percentage of the population that doesn’t know these things. In fact, there is a huge contingent of our country who think that it should be all sunshine and roses and that, if you say any different, well you’re just a meanie-pants bully who wants to keep their little boy or girl down (they probably would even be offended that I was audacious enough to use a gender-specific title right there).
And not only are these people procreating…they’re voting.
Are we doomed? Is the current group of young adults entering into the ranks of higher education a representation of our future?
Or do we, the .45%, have what it takes to turn things around? I realize what this means—making babies in mass quantities and putting them all in Ranger panties from an early age—and it is a massive undertaking, to be sure. But I also know that the military and Veteran community possesses about 6,453 times more motivation, intelligence, and ingenuity than the majority of what I’m seeing coming up in the college ranks (it’s a complex equation to come up with that number involving the multiplication of fractals, quadratic equations, and bourbon—I don’t want to go into it here).
It has taken the so-called experts in the field of psychology several decades to figure out what most of us have known for years—that Justin Bieber and the Kardashians are proof that we’re getting dumber…?
Well, yes, but more relevant to this topic, they’ve finally started figuring out that if kids don’t start getting a steady diet of RTFU and drive on, our country is only going to get worse. I say that, while it may seem like a depressing thought, we take it as a challenge.
After all, the lazier they are, the more chance I have of succeeding while they’re busy bitching about how hard and unfair life is. I have more opportunities to succeed because apparently half the population under the age of 30 is more worried about what’s on Jersey Shore, The Voice, or a half-dozen other brainless shows than they are with working up the ladder at a place who is now regretting the choice to employ them.
I’m not saying I’m glad that some of these oxygen thieves are out there. What I am arguing is that they are among us whether I like it or not, so I’m going to take advantage of it, and I’m going to make damn sure my kids have the tools necessary to do so, as well.
Because (and I hope I don’t get reported to Child Protective Services for this) sometimes, when I get really crazy and out of control…I tell my kids that they are wrong and put them in situations where they lose. I know, I’m a monster.