Douche of the Week: The San Francisco School Board

Updated: August 15, 0200


sanfrandowThe City of San Francisco

There’s liberal, there’s ultra-liberal, there’s Michael Moore, and then there’s San Francisco. This past week, the San Francisco school board has determined that high school JROTC programs are dangerous institutions that must be banned. Nice call, guys. Forget the fact that JROTC gives a lot of kids the opportunity to be a part of something that gives them pride and a sense of discipline. Forget the fact that kids in JROTC programs score better on standardized tests than their counterparts at the same schools. Forget the fact that most of them don’t actually enter the military. Instead, let’s focus on two faux issues: The “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy and the fact that JROTC “breeds violence”.

Let’s begin with the former.

Option 1: Let’s think about this for a minute. The “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy is a national legal issue. Who legislates nationally in the US? Congress. Who elects the members of Congress? That’s right. You. Instead of whining about a decision that the military doesn’t even have any say in, maybe you should get off your hypocritical asses and actually get to a polling station or if you’re really fired up, put some effort into a serious grassroots and lobbying campaign to change the policy.

Option 2: Punish some kids trying to improve themselves so that you can make national news, brag to your herbal tea-sipping friends how you’re fighting for liberty, and continue to make the rest of America wish that Lex Luthor’s plan from Superman comes true and Arizona suddenly is beachfront property.

Nice call on Option 2, Assclowns.

Now we’ll discuss the latter. I’m sure one of you muddleheaded peaceniks can cite a couple of instances in the past hundred years where a JROTC kid has committed violence. I bet if you check, though, you’ll find that the percentage correlates to the same that you’d find in the standard population. I’d even wager that it’s less.

I (and I admit, I’m shooting from the hip here) have a tendency to think this is about something else. I think this is a thinly veiled hissy fit. You don’t like the President. You don’t like soldiers. You’re the kind of people that think everyone between San Francisco and New York is an uneducated redneck. And because you are powerless to change most everything, you lash out at the one thing you can affect – defenseless kids.

The irony is that you think you are “saving” them from some insidious fate, when they really need to be saved from the likes of you.

If you had actually done a bit of “field research” on the subject, you might realize that JROTC is focused on breeding the attributes of integrity, teamwork, and discipline. JROTC kids have committed to something greater than themselves. I know what you’re asking – why would anyone do anything that wasn’t completely focused on their own personal gain? This concept is called selfless service. Please look it up. It’s an important value without which our nation would not exist. It is the value that motivated George Washington and allowed him to hold together a ragtag group of patriots when there seemed to be no chance of success, and it is the same value that motivates soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen to fight today.

But you didn’t do that research, and even if you did, I’m certain you’d figure out some way to justify your absurd bit o’ legislation. Decisions like this one only come about from top shelf self-aggrandizing assholes. Congratulations! You just joined Senator Kerry’s cabinet. We dub thee (yes – all of you) the new Secretary of Defense of Douchebagistan. It just seemed appropriately ironic. God, you guys suck.

Copyright of Nick



One Comment

  1. Dakota R

    April 11, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    You just wiped out… well, maybe 2 stories from the “Chronicles.” Another point the schools (most of which are in California, really) make against JROTC is it being a recruiting tool… My NCO and officer told me and years worth of other cadets they didn’t want us to join the service as much as carve a civilian career path (not that they ever dogged the military, and both were proud of their service, just tried to have us make the best decision). It’s a leadership tool, and in my experience with 3 cadet programs, stay extremely true to their goal of “Building Better Citizens for America”
    Not Sailors, Marines, Airmen, or Soldiers.
    Cadet Lieutenant
    Cadet Second Lieutenant
    Cadet Master Sergeant
    Dakota R

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