Homeowner’s associations are un-American.
I may not agree with my neighbor, Bob, who thinks that having a plastic deer family in his yard is the height of lawn fashion, but I sure as shit think it is his right to do it. After all, he paid for his home. He pays his taxes. Who cares what I think?
If you really stop and think about it, you have to be an amazingly presumptuous asshat to think that “you know best” when it comes to someone else’s property, especially when it comes to something as subjective as fashion or trends. Don’t believe me? There was a time when most cars were covered in wood, when parachute pants were the norm, and when most everyone you knew had glasses that changed in the sun. In fact, for all I know, Bob is ahead of his time and there is tangible benefit to having a plastic herd out and about.
Now, I live in a neighborhood with a Homeowner’s Association. I pay them dues. They annoy me. But the thing is that the poor slobs that got sucked into the vortex of the organization are decent people trying to do the best they can. They won’t let Bob build his thirty-two foot tall Pink Flamingo out of balsa wood and clothes hangers, but they look the other way for most everything else. In fact, the reason we, as Americans, haven’t yet rebelled against these communist regimes is that for the most part, reasonable heads prevail.
Not so in Henrico County.
The Sussex Square Homeowner’s Association has launched a smug war of douchebaggery against 90-year old Medal of Honor recipient Colonel Van T. Barfoot. Colonel Barfoot’s Medal of Honor citation is incredible. I will summarize it: Machine guns were shooting his guys so he threw himself in front of them and killed everyone without dying. Then tanks charged his men, so he threw himself in front of them drawing their fire and disabling them with a bazooka without dying. When the men in the tanks dismounted and attacked his men, he single-handedly killed them and somehow once again didn’t die. Then he put himself into harm’s way through withering fire and saved two wounded men, Good Lord, still without dying. In short, after reading his citation, and then learning that Barfoot then went on to fight in TWO MORE WARS, if he wants to build a giant phallus shrine or perhaps a paper Mache goat on his front yard, I am the last guy that’s going to get in the man’s way. Society owes him a debt it will never repay.
The Sussex Square HOA, however, is filing suit against Barfoot for violating the HOA’s strict rules and potentially diminishing their home values. His egregious crime? Placing a flagpole in his yard so he can raise the American flag each morning and lower with honors at night.
Seriously you ask?
Seriously.
Somehow, someway, the spoiled, un-American, self-righteous knob jockeys of the Sussex Square HOA wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and say “I’m doing the right thing”. I want someone to punch every last one of them. In fact, just thinking about the situation, makes me want to drink about five red bulls, watch some commie-inspired Hollywood Iraq PTSD film, put “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” on my iPod and bust through the HOA door, grab the President of the organization and do my best Col. Nathan R. Jessup impression while every vein in my neck seethes red with rage:
“You weep for your lame rules and you curse that flagpole. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That your existence while tragic, is also meaningless. And Barfoot’s flagpole, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, is righteous as hell. You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want him on that lawn. You need him there!”
Right about at this point, with my rage at its apex, I’d be waiting, fantasizing even, for some sort of aggressive rebuttal on their part – perhaps even a violent altercation resulting in me standing over their bloody, barely breathing pathetic bodies, Bruce Lee style…content in the knowledge that they had learned a valuable lesson about life and karma.
That would never happen, of course.
They’d simply call their lawyers – Coates & Davenport at (804) 285-7000 and cry about the scary infantryman rambling on in their office. Next thing you know, I’d have to install a flagpole so they could take it away from me. After all, they know best.
Good news, Sussex Square HSA! Douchebagistan just added a sub-division and you’re now running it.
Welcome to Douchebagistan.
Now choke yourselves.
2nd Lieutenant Barfoot’s Medal of Honor Citation:
For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty on 23 May 1944, near Carano, Italy. With his platoon heavily engaged during an assault against forces well entrenched on commanding ground, 2d Lt. Barfoot (then Tech. Sgt.) moved off alone upon the enemy left flank. He crawled to the proximity of 1 machinegun nest and made a direct hit on it with a hand grenade, killing 2 and wounding 3 Germans. He continued along the German defense line to another machinegun emplacement, and with his tommygun killed 2 and captured 3 soldiers. Members of another enemy machinegun crew then abandoned their position and gave themselves up to Sgt. Barfoot. Leaving the prisoners for his support squad to pick up, he proceeded to mop up positions in the immediate area, capturing more prisoners and bringing his total count to 17. Later that day, after he had reorganized his men and consolidated the newly captured ground, the enemy launched a fierce armored counterattack directly at his platoon positions. Securing a bazooka, Sgt. Barfoot took up an exposed position directly in front of 3 advancing Mark VI tanks. From a distance of 75 yards his first shot destroyed the track of the leading tank, effectively disabling it, while the other 2 changed direction toward the flank. As the crew of the disabled tank dismounted, Sgt. Barfoot killed 3 of them with his tommygun. He continued onward into enemy terrain and destroyed a recently abandoned German fieldpiece with a demolition charge placed in the breech. While returning to his platoon position, Sgt. Barfoot, though greatly fatigued by his Herculean efforts, assisted 2 of his seriously wounded men 1,700 yards to a position of safety. Sgt. Barfoot’s extraordinary heroism, demonstration of magnificent valor, and aggressive determination in the face of pointblank fire are a perpetual inspiration to his fellow soldiers.
Thanks for writing this Nick. Every tax paying American needs to know about this atrocity. Plus these d-bags need a swift kick in the nuts…
Great writing, Nick; however, I think you may have gotten the Colonel’s name incorrect – it’s Barfoot, not Barstow.
Breezy, thanks for the catch! I have no idea why I arbitrarily changed his name right before the citation after using it correctly the whole time. Fixed.
Seriously you have to wonder what goes on in the minds of others. They should be embarrassed. I hope he gets to keep his flagpole so he can raise the American flag and can fly it with pride! Thankfully I live in an area of New Jersey where we dont have subdivisions. I fly the American flag. Dont even think of telling me to take it down unless you plan on paying my mortgage on every inch of my 100 x 100 lot! What goes around comes around. They will get their day!
Smith, while I agree with you 100% about what this group needs, they can never receive it – they are emasculated, PC products of Higher Education that were not properly immunized (patriotized?) at home when they were young. They simply have NO NUTS!
Nick, good stuff man. Thanks. I live in Henrico County. We have been pounding the HOA unmercifully since this started, and it seems the law firm representing the HOA has dropped them as clients. So sad.
Maybe Rangerup could send Mr. Barefoot a “I club Hippies” shirt for himself and a “Douchbagistan” one for the homeowners association.
Infantryman, great idea. Anyone have any idea what size Col Barfoot is? He needs a Ranger Up package in the mail ASAP.
Nick, give me a day or two and I’ll go ask the man. He lives about 4 miles from me. I’m on restricted driving priveleges due to the bypass, but I should be able to get mama to run me over there.
Good info, but is there an email address for the HOA that we can send our gripe to? Or, a phone number, street address?
Ditto the last comment. Give us an email address for the HOA so we can discuss it with them — father of two Marines. Semper Fi.
Great write up. Bastards.
They never told him he couldn’t fly the flag, just not from a tall pole. I’m not sure why he couldn’t hang it from his house.
For Joe Momma….why couldn’t he hang it form his house…. because he chose to hang it from a flag pole,which is where is should be hung…he chose to put it up every morning and take it down every night, which was the respect it deserves. One would ask why the hell they have an objection to the flag pole, anyways? Must be too much of a reminder that the socialist bastards haven’t quite taken over yet. What they should be doing for this man is going over every day raising the flag for him, taking it down for him at night and thanking him for his service.
UNVERIFIED UPDATE:
Comment left on UCV blog this morning.
Good news…. the HOA (now without legal reprentation)has dropped their demands for the flagpole to be removed, and of course the threat that went with it. Common sense prevails or… when you are the bad guys facing off a man who has already showed a willingness to stand and fight… the better part of common sense says run………………
Katie | 12.09.09 – 12:22 am |
Joe Momma is a assbag! He has the right to have a flag pole in his front yard to fly a flag he fought for and loves almost as much as he does his men. If he wants that damn flag pole to be 100 foot high so be it! Hell this Paratrooper will even help put the fucking thing up for him!! Airborne Troopers.
There needs to be stronger legislation agaisnt HOAs. Federal Government all the way down to the basic American citizen needs to know that the concept of an HOA is more harm than help- loss of rights. This concept is more or less paying a group of 3-5 community members w/ a management company to watch them- They are wannabe government rule. Has any one ever thought that that is why a city has civic leaders?, Mayors, Vice Mayors, City Councel and Local enforcement etc.. to govern?! The person that pushed for the concept of HOA needs to be found and placed on trial. Homeowners Associations need to be either abolished or greatly striped of there powers. Frankly, an HOA should only be able to manage common areas, and NOT, I repeat NOT, be able to be the final say so on how someone wants to personalize there home. Let local government determin wheter that personalization is legal of city ordinances and/or federal laws. I’m sure if I told my community that they can only plant a certain species of plant or else… I would most likely leave the most horrible taste in their mouths, get the stink eye and lose rapport with them. My HOA, Summit Ridge HOA, Daly City California, wants me to pull up my alternative (artifical lawn) because they feel it does not conform with the neighborhood. My lawn will always look green and manicured since it mirrors the lawns of Golf grounds, Football fields, soccer fields, etc. I will never have to fertilize, de-weed or water it (H2O conservation). It makes sence, right? Wrong-
Col Barefoot- I support you. America, HOAs, have lost sight of what freedom really is and what country heros, like yourself, have afforded them and the US as a whole.
Joe Munar
16+ years USAF
San Fran, CA
Bravo J. Munar
Yes this story is still being passed around and I couldn’t agree with you more concerning that HOA’s are no more than wannabe government rulers.
I also would venture to say that another term for HOA’s could very well be – “Community Organizers!”
Best Regards,
Don
1: His property, he can do whatever the hell he wants on it, barring criminal acts. Flying the American flag is probably the single least harmful thing he could possibly do with his front lawn (I’ve mined mine).
2: The old SOB has a MEDAL OF MOTHERFUCKING HONOR. The General of the Army salutes this guy, and if he has had to buy himself a beer in the past 50 years, I consider it a national failing. If he wanted to hang the children of the neighborhood who trespassed by their heels, I’d be fine with it, but no, all he wants to do is fly the flag he fought under.
This is the most ridiculous, the most horrendous, the most ass-first mind-boggling piece of tripe I’ve seen since our own Office of Homeland Security pegged servicemen as the top threat to American lives.
Ive been searching for a raw, honest journalist. Your it baby! Great article! You said everything I was feeling, now I can die happy!
So… the problem here is the flag pole is not “aesthetically acceptable”. Well I guess that sums it up. The people who live there care more about what it “aesthetically” looks like then a man who has earned the right to fly a flag. Boo Hoo, there was a neighborhood “law”! Laws can be changed. But these people care more about their little world they created then what sniveling, thankless, pigs they are making themselves look like. This is where the Stupid, greedy American stereotype comes from, people like this. Most of us are not like this. It just so happens ignorance gets more attention in the media.
After reading the accompanying citation for his CMH, and knowing that Col. Barfoot also fought in Vietnam and Korea, there is no way on Gods earth that I would want to tick this guy off. After so many years in the military I would be afraid that this guy would look at me wrong and snap my spine.
That aside, the HOA should be voted to live next to John Kerry and sing hippy love songs from this day forward until they reach their special level in hell for bothering an old man that has more honor in his hang nail than they have in their entire pathetic lives.
As far as the lawyers go that pushed the case for the HOA…well they are lawyers after all.
I think we should tell the homeowner’s association they need to find another country in which to dwell and to take Obamunist U.S. Sen. Mark Warner, D-Va with them.
Nick, I’d like to nominate the Saratoga Homeowner Association Board, including President F “1st I’ve heard of it” Catanzarite, Fred “it’s in the bylaws” Voza and the rest of the idiots, for inclusion in a special sub-division of Douchebagistan. These nutless buffoons fail to take care of business (an essential duty of being in charge, no?) then blame the people they fail for their own idiocy. All while hiding behind their lawyers and charging us for it! New Jersey…corruption capital of the East Coast and a new province for Douchebagistan! Let the Red Bull flow and the bodies fall!
Barbarian Horde
Protecting America since 1776
Someone went around this weekend and took down all my neighbors and my flag and nicely rolled them up and placed them ON THE GROUND near my front door. I am assuming that it was the HOA but I could be wrong because I never got any written or verbal notice about it, like I would’ve complied anyway. Then again it might just be some asshole that hates America. I have an extremely high powered pellet rifle with a scope and silencer eagerly awaiting it’s chance to cause pain. If it was the HOA, wouldn’t they tell us first? Beats me, the whole incident is still under investigation since it happened sometime between the hours of 2200 and 0600, I was too busy playing Modern Warfare 2 to keep an eye on the front of my house. Gotta move the surveillance cameras to include the flag apparently. What the hell is wrong with people? How come everyday I learn about some new person that needs to die?
Nick,
It is associations like this that actually hate the American Soldier. They only want us when they need us and care nothing that this is a great Soldier who is a MOH reciepient. As an American Soldier who is the son of 2 American Soldiers and the Grandson, Nephew of American Soldiers it sickens me to see these people.
COL Barfoot….You are my F’n hero even if those SOB’s cannot show you the respect you EARNED!!!!
I hate these people. I don’t serve or fight for them… I serve and fight for my brothers and sisters to my left and right, for the true American who value Soldier’s more than music icons and actors.
this is really F-ing Stupid and pisses me off to Chuck NOrris testosterone levels. This is MOTHER F^*KING A M E R I C A!!!! the flag he is flying is an A M E R I C A N F%*KING FLAG!!!! the same country these dumbasses live in, the same one this man fought for..i dont give a shit if he has a god D&^N batman spotlight lighting up the sky with the American flag and you can see it for a 100 miles. Last time I checked this was a FREE country..BECAUSE of men like this. it makes me wonder…my fellow miltary, who are we fighting for anymore? and is this the thanks we get for stepping up to the plate for our nation? RED BULL AND DEAD BODIES!!
It is through the sacrafices of past and present sevicemen that we live in free country of laws to govern the masses and have the ability to fly whatever flag we want. I used to live in a neighborhood with a HOA and appreciated the work the board members did. It is thankless job, but someone has to do it. It is the responsibility of each homeowner to read, understand and AGREE with the rules before you choose to live in that neighborhood. Gee, sounds like a country with laws. Our association had a rule regarding flags and the association ignored it for quite some time, at least until the property looked like the united nations and then they say no more flags. I moved away from the HOA and now reside in a neighborhood with no HOA, and I fly my AMERICAN flag proudly every day and turn the light on every night so its out 24/7.
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