The long holiday weekend starts tonight after final formation and there will...
Douche of the Week: Spirit Airlines
By RU Rob
I have been following the story of how Spirit Airlines jilted 76 year old Marine Veteran Jerry Meekins out of a refund after his physician forbid him to fly. The thought crossed my mind that Spirit Airlines could potentially earn Douche of the Week honors, but after listening to Spirit Airlines CEO Ben Baldanza spew nothing but complete horse-shit, I am convinced that the real douche here is Baldanza.
The story goes something like this: Mr. Meekins has terminal esophageal cancer. He had pre-purchased a $197 flight from Florida up to New Jersey to visit his daughter who was having surgery. Mr. Meekins was told by his doctor that he couldn’t fly due to his medical condition. At first, Jerry sought a refund for the ticket but was denied as he did not purchase “flight insurance” on his ticket. Jerry then requested that the ticket be transferred over to his daughter so that she could come visit him in Florida. This too was rejected by the doucherifous customer service department.
Well, we Veterans don’t exactly like to be told no without any good reason. So Jerry went and protested the decision of Spirit at the Tampa International Airport with a few of his friends and from there it caught fire. He may be 76, but this Marine still has a lot of fight left in him. A Facebook page titled “Boycott Spirit Airlines” was created and as of this writing has over 30,000 “likes”.
Then, in a move to make his Airline appear even douchier, CEO Ben Baldanza had to go and open his cock-holster comparing Mr. Meekins situation to a homeowner with no policy calling up an insurance company after his house burns down. Really, fucktard? There is a fundamental difference between someone who has not paid a cent for services and someone who has. Benny-ha-ha, you are a prime example as to why our economy is in the freaking grave, you don’t give a rat’s-ass about your customers.
I have flown Spirit Airlines before, found their aircraft to be disgusting, their staff unprofessional and their attitude towards their passengers horrible. It really doesn’t surprise me that they would stoop to this doucherific proportion. Upon doing a little research on Spirit Airlines, it would appear that I am not the only one who feels that way. Skytrax, the world’s largest airline review site, has Spirit Airlines rated at 3.1 stars out of 10. That folks is pretty damn shitty.
If it weren’t for the fact that there are safety regulations in place I am sure that Spirit Airlines would pack bodies into an aircraft like Drill Sergeants did to trainees during basic training. Standing nuts-to-butts in the back of a cattle car where there is always room for one more.
Spirit Airlines leads the US carriers in complaints against them by almost double that of the nearest competitor. When asked why the entire country believes that the douchey behavior of Spirit Airlines triggers so many complaints Baldanza again opens his bull-shit-spreader and compares the Airline industry to a restaurant saying “if…out of every 100,000 customers, 8 of them said they didn’t like your menu, would you change your restaurant?” No, dumb-ass I wouldn’t but I sure as hell would at least listen. For every rule there is an exception, did you not learn that in douche-school?
Just so you know, Spirit Airlines has been fined by the FAA in the past for customer service missteps, and is the king of hidden fees. For example, Spirit is currently mulling the idea of charging $100 for carry-on luggage and also doesn’t even offer complimentary glasses of water on their flights; that will cost $3. Spirit is also the only carrier in the United States that does not offer active duty service members any sort of discount or relief from baggage fees when they are traveling on official orders. WTF over?
So, Mr. Balls-on-chin (sorry, meant Baldanza) and Spirit Airlines, I hereby sentence you to Douchebagistan. Seeing as how many douchetastic nominations we have seen lately, we will need a comparably crappy carrier as a currier for our crusty curmudgeons!
Ranger Up Nation, why don’t you head on over to the Boycott Spirit Facebook page, give them a liking and leave a note that Ranger Up sent you to support by fire. Copy your posts in the comments below and I will give a T-shirt to the snarkiest one!