Douche of the Week – Patti LaBelle
There are some things that piss us off and then there are those heinous acts that make us see the world through a white hot rage. Patti LaBelle is an aging singer still suckling off the teet of her last success from the 1920’s who apparently values her luggage more than she does our nation’s fighting men. Recently she was sitting in her limo at the Houston International Airport when West Point Cadet Richard King wandered too close to her luggage. She rolled down her window, gave a secret cosa nostra signal to her fat ass bodyguards and suddenly the Cadet got the holy shit beaten out of him. He ended up nearly unconscious next to a pillar bleeding on the sidewalk while LaBelle’s security shitheads taunted him.
But Mrs. LaDouche’s antics don’t end there. After the fracas, she decides to greet her only two fans in the world by stepping out of the limo and taking pictures next to the cadet’s bloodstain. Are you fucking kidding me?! Next to his bloodstain? I’m not easily shocked (who is anymore), but this was a jaw dropping moment. It was absolutely disgusting and you have to be a callous bitch to pull that off OR be so self-absorbed in taking pics with your only two fans to not care about the person whose life you just destroyed. And by the way, one of those fans she took pictures with was the police officer investigating the incident. So how do you think she was portrayed in that report? Like a fucking saint.
Think is is too absurd to be true? See the full story and watch the security cam footage here.
Had she come out at any time afterward and said, “This was an unfortunate incident, but I felt my life was in danger” we would have laughed and not believed her. But now it’s even worse. We hate the fact that she showed no remorse and want to see her fat carcass fitted for a windsock at the end of a runway in Iraq. The job of a hired gun is not to start a fight or hurt anyone. A security man’s job is to get the trouble maker away from the person you’re guarding. These fucksticks decided the luggage was so precious that they immediately started throwing bombs at a man half their size. Poor judgment on their part and even poorer judgment on Labelle’s part for hiring them. It turns out that one of them is actually her son. Priceless.
So surely the bastion of integrity, West Point, would come to Cadet King’s aid in his time of need and help prove his innocence in this matter. After all, we all have the right to due process, even under the UCMJ, right? Wrong. West Point crucified the lad. It reminds me of a douchebag Battalion Commander I once had who threw the book at a Warrant Officer for defending himself against 4 attackers in a Korean back alley. The fight started when one attacker broke a bottle over the Warrant Officer’s face and shredded it like wheat. He fought off all 4 men and for his actions received an article 15 for fighting in public. Welcome to the anal ravaging of USMA injustice Cadet King.
And welcome to the douchebag hall of fame, Mrs. LaBelle. You’ve earned it.