Douche of the Week: NY State Legislators
By Mr. Twisted
Well, the bar has already been set fairly high for what constitutes douchiness in 2013. Though I’m sure there are a lot of individuals out there who will do their best to strive for this coveted title, for this week, I give you…
The New York State Legislators.
That’s right—an entire State Assembly has managed to earn the first of many titles this year. And they did so by proposing all sorts of idiotic pieces of legislation that promise to do one thing above all others: take rights away from individuals and give more power to the state.
The New York Assembly just passed a full-out ban on “assault weapons” originally proposed by one of the heavyweight champs of nanny-state douchebaggery, Andrew Cuomo.
Well…balls. Where to begin…
The state of New York already has some of the strictest gun control in the entire country. Oh and they also have a city with a ton of crime. Coincidence? Though the legislators in that state would like you to think so, that is apparently because they eat a healthy dose of crack on their Cheerios every morning.
Seriously, how painfully ignorant of a logical thought process does one have to be in order to propose and vote “yes” on legislation like this? There are a number of ways to point out the stupid here, but I’d like to focus on two.
One, it is a tremendous infringement on the Constitutional rights of individuals living in the state of New York. Their state has taken it upon themselves to believe that it is their job to issue out privileges to commoners as if it is their own little fiefdom. The legislature there believes that “rights” are something that the government manages and hands out as they see fit.
In that regard, I’d like to say to the state legislators of New York….make sure your canteens are full and then head on out to the LP/OP position. Stay there until you are relieved of duty as you would be of much better service to your constituents if you were completely removed from office. We will call you on the TA-312 Field Phone if we need you.
Two, it doesn’t even make sense if there wasn’t a Constitutional amendment protecting the right to keep and bear arms. Stop and consider that New York City has been the target of multiple international terrorist attacks in the last couple decades. If any city in the country has cause for arguing that individuals need to be able to defend themselves against foreign threats, it is NYC. But they would like to address that fact by….further denying the ability of its residents the ability to protect themselves and their family.
Let this be a lesson to you kids out there. Whenever you hear some stodgy, intellectual type start droning on about how humanity has “evolved” past certain things and that we don’t need this or that, I want you to remember that the ruling class in places like New York aren’t even smart enough to add 2 + 2 and figure out why rights existed in the first place and how they may be necessary in the future.
This concept—as well as the idea of rights inherently belonging to individuals—is far beyond the understanding of many in today’s political arena, despite their relatively simple premise. Yet we are to believe that the educated elite has a supreme understanding of what is better for us as a whole than we do—that they can authoritatively state what we should and should not be granted.
To the legislators in New York, I offer you the following: stop. Just stop what you’re doing. Go find the nearest toilet, dunk your head in it, come up for air and find a mirror. Now look into that mirror and state the following: “it is not my place to decide the rights of my constituents. That has already been done by people smarter than me a long time ago. It is also not my place to decide for them what is right and what is not. That is their job. My job is to represent them. It is also important that I shut my mouth and punch myself in the face for any number of idiotic things I have done as a legislator.” Now repeat as necessary.
New York, you are truly douchetastic. While I have no doubt that there are some solid, squared away individuals living within your borders, those who write the laws in your state have earned this title for you that you shall now wear along with the likes of Keith Olbermann, Bob Costas, and the pantheon of Stolen Valor surrender monkeys. You should be proud.