Douche of the Week: Nicole Frazier
By RU Contributor Jack Mandaville
Sweet baby Jesus in a tuxedo suit… I can’t even begin to find the words to explain the vomit-inducing article I read. The simple fact that I managed to make it through the entire thing was a miraculous feat within itself, so please bear with me as I try to convey the gist of what I witnessed.
Alright, first off, I was initially a little reluctant to go after a young student who wrote an airy-fairy op-ed for a shitty university paper. Name any school in America, these kids aren’t exactly Bob Woodward-caliber journalists.
I’m barely clinging on to my twenties here. A part of me felt like angrily responding to a young lady would be in poor taste. Then I remembered what I was doing at her age—on my third deployment—and I realized that this broad should be able to handle a little constructive criticism.
Her name is Nicole Frazier. She’s an English and Spanish major—meaning she’s a perfect candidate for OWS membership. A self-professed liberal, Nicole recently did an op-ed titled “Why we shouldn’t just have military discounts.”
Thanks a lot, Nicole. You just gave a black eye to a shit-ton of liberals who don’t share the same anti-troop sentiments as you. You need to reevaluate what it means to be a liberal. You betta ch-ch-check yo’ self before you riggiddy wreck yo’ self!
In Ms. Frazier’s demented, poorly conceived article she argues that US military personnel should not be the only ones in America receiving discounts from businesses because of the nature of their work (warfare) and the fact that they’re not the only ones “serving” our nation.
Here, her words:
“Businesses are stratifying our society (further than it already is), with military discounts by putting the group of individuals who serve in the military at the cusp, based on what I deem to be irrelevant factors, such as the riskiness of the job, annual pay and respect.”
STRIKE TWO, MISSY!
Irrelevant factors? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you angry because these businesses recognize the fact that we’ve lost 4,486 US Servicemembers in Iraq and 2,140 US Servicemembers in Afghanistan since the beginning of the Global War on Terrorism in 2001? Is it the 32,223 wounded in Iraq and the 17,674 wounded in Afghanistan that bothers you? What about the multiple deployments our military personnel are subjected to, the lengthy amount of time they spend away from their loved ones, or the long-term health issues they’ll face? Them receiving a 10% discount at Home Depot really fuckin’ troubles you that much?
More of Nicole’s vast wisdom:
“In other words, by not paying homage to other professionals in this country who do equally valid work, we create a dangerous hierarchy in our system that treats people as if they are more deserving of discounts than another who, due to medical reasons, couldn’t enlist or was more passionate about serving their country as a counselor at the public middle school.”
STEEERIKE THREE! You’re outta here, honey!
What kind of hierarchy are you talking about? My buddy, Mike—a former Marine (that I proudly served with) and police officer—never pays for his dry-cleaning or car washes because of his law enforcement job. What about educators? Yeah, honey, the overwhelming majority of American retailers provide teacher discounts, too. Firefighters? They’re reimbursed for their sacrifices by the throngs of pussy thrown at them on a daily basis. And, Nicole, need I remind you that people in your position (students) are offered a plethora of discounts, as well? Trust me, I know—within a few months, I went from using my military ID for theater discounts to using my student ID.
Next thing you know, Nicole will be telling us that the geriatrics who hang out at Denny’s at six in the morning don’t deserve their senior discount—you know, because recognizing the fact that some Americans are capable of making it to 55 is a direct insult to all the sacrifices college students make.
One last gem from Ms. Frazier:
“Who receives discounts should not be determined by the riskiness of the job. If you can’t put a price on a life, then you can’t put discounts on it either.”
The United States government has put a price on the lives of those who serve. It’s called the SGLI… and it covers up to $400,000 for the life of a servicemember who makes the ultimate sacrifice. And you know what, Nicole? That $400,000 dollars will never be enough. It will never be enough to the Gold Star families who have received it and it will never make up for the sacrifices that every single one of our servicemen and women have made.
The majority of these discounts are 10% or less. What kind of self-entitled lowlife gets pissed off or jealous about this kind of stuff? I’ll tell you who: DOUCHEBAGS!
Ms. Frazier, what you wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent article were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on your campus is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Young lady, you’re now exiled to Douchebagistan. While there, you will be forced to utilize your English and Spanish degrees by waiting tables for large crowds of returning US military members looking to use their much deserved restaurant discounts.