Douche of the Week: GEICO

Updated: August 30, 2012

By Mr. Twisted

“And that’s why yellow makes me sad, I think…”

“That’s interesting…You know what makes me sad? YOU DO! Maybe we should chug on over to mamby-pamby land, where maybe we can find some self-confidence for you, ya JACK WAGON!”

As you probably remember, Gunny Hartman, aka R. Lee Ermey, did a television advertisement for GEICO Auto Insurance as “therapist Sarge,” effectively bringing the hammer down on some touchy-feely guy seeking an emotional moment in what ended up being one of the funnier commercials to grace the ever-weakening world of broadcast TV. Well, after Ermey, a former Marine Corps Drill Instructor, went on a rant about the current President, GEICO decided to part ways and continue down a non-offensive, douchebaggery path of life.

Of course GEICO has the right to fire an employee for going on a public rant about the President. I believe private companies should have the freedom to hire and fire who they want. But I also believe in that whole free speech thing that everyone is always talking about, and part of that, as a consumer, allows me the opportunity to call out GEICO on a public forum for being complete Douchebags for firing a guy who is A) a veteran, and B) a veteran who was exercising free speech. Let’s face the facts here and realize that they fired him because they were being too worried about political correctness to have a spine.

What happened to the companies who had the stones to say “hey, even if we don’t agree with what our man said, we agree with his right to say it and we stand by him”? GEICO has proven that they certainly aren’t worthy of any respect in that regard, as they have their tail tucked so far between their legs that they fired ol’ Gunny before there was even a lot of press about what he did. It was like preemptive douchebaggery by being scared without anything to be scared of. Remember Bill Paxton’s character, PVT Hudson, in the movie Aliens? That’s GEICO dealing with R. Lee Ermey, it would appear.

Hey GEICO, I’ve got some news for you: most of the country has an opinion on the President, and it’s a negative one for over half of the population. Most of the country thinks R. Lee Ermey is pretty freakin’ cool. So maybe you should grab your balls and stop worrying so much about not offending people. Maybe, just maybe, you should stand out from every other wussified major corporation in today’s business world and not be complete pansies who are terrified of offending anyone and everyone.

“Who’s the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?!?!”

That’s what Gunny Hartman asked in the movie Full Metal Jacket.

And now we must answer that question with…GEICO Auto Insurance.

What wins them a Douche award is not their decision to fire someone for having different political beliefs – it’s their inability to refrain from bowing to the ever-increasing namby-pambiness of our country. With the incredibly high rate of spinelessness, the last thing that will appeal to me as a potential customer is a company firing a guy for going on a rant that, in all likelihood, most people never heard. All out of fear regarding possible damage to their image.

Oh and they also fired the guy who voiced that lizard over similar circumstances. Which is too bad, really – I was all set to make a video of teeing up a Gecko with my Tiger Woods-like swing and launching it on behalf of the Gunny.

GEICO – You truly are the Douche of the Week.





  1. SGT Smith

    August 30, 2012 at 8:55 am

    Good thing I have Progressive.

    • R. Laurent

      August 30, 2012 at 9:02 am

      Although I agree with the above assessment….I will say that people have to keep in mind that GEICO stands for Government Emplyees Insurance COmpany. That might lend a little perspective on their actions.

  2. Peggy

    August 30, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Good post…glad to be a member of USAA.

  3. Joe

    August 30, 2012 at 9:07 am

    A private company can fire anyone they want- Sucks for the actor, and i don’t know the verbage in his contract but I don’t care. It’s stupid to call them douchebags for exercising their freedom, what got anything to say about chick-fil-a?
    tell ya what mr twisted, as an active duty enlisted, I serve the U.S so fuckers have the freedom to burn flags if they want, burning a flag is a douche move but hey its freedom.
    You want to bitch about the president? go wrap yourself in a flag and take a look at the number of veterans bills Paul ryan voted against since 2003, that dude bragged about voting for the Iraq war, fine, but then he voted against the GI bill? Douche

    • Mr. Twisted

      August 30, 2012 at 9:30 pm


      I’m not really even sure what you’re talking about. Your comment meanders around several points. Chick-fil-a? Paul Ryan? The President?

  4. John Q

    August 30, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Almost Completely agree. In fact, they would probably get more mileage out of openly disagreeing with him and keeping him on. What a breath of fresh air that would be. Only thing that is a factual error is the statement “Most of the country has an opinion on the President,and it’s a negative one for over half of the population.” Half the population doesn’t even care to vote. That’s not because they hate the prez. If they did, they would actually make the effort to vote. It’s just apathy. Maybe the non voter needs douche of the week…

  5. Cecilio Mendez

    August 30, 2012 at 10:08 am

    GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES INSURANCE COMPANY (GEICO)… the name is an indication as to where these people are inclined to. Spineless. On another note: What do you make out of that “Frankenstein” rant made by “active duty enlisted” JOE?

  6. Civilian Infantry Gear

    August 30, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Dropping GAYCO directly. Thanks for the heads up!

  7. Becky

    August 30, 2012 at 10:17 am

    I’m tired of all the PC people out there. GEICO used to be all about the troops and government employees. I was covered by them up until 1. I was Honorably discharged from the US Navy then 2. they dropped me with no warning for no apparent reason. Since then I’ve loved thier commercials, cute little gecko and cry baby cavemen, but won’t be covered by them. They should have left Gunny alone, he is exactly what they signed, brash, loud, in your face, DI style man. I LOVED his commercials.

  8. Quickburn

    August 30, 2012 at 10:27 am

    USAA. nuff said.

  9. Aaron

    August 30, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Obviously, GEICO has a bad case of Vagititus, which sadly to say is an extremely contagious disease that effects many people, and corporate entities. That, Mr. Twisted, is a fine piece of writing, and informative to boot. I too will envoke my rights by not supporting dirty filthy leg businesses like GEICO.

  10. Antonio Aguilar

    August 30, 2012 at 12:59 pm


  11. Aaron

    August 30, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Overall, I think what you’re not understanding is business principals. Commercials are designed to reach out to the largest possible demographic and not alienate a particular segment of the population watching. If they DO happen to alienate a very large segment, it was a waste of millions to start the ad campaign in the first place. In this instance, that man cost Geico a considerable amount of money (probably upwards of 7 digits for a major nationwide commercial). Of course they’d fire him. Explain the situation where you can cost a corporation that much money and you KEEP your job.

    Even if all they alienated was 4 or 5% of the entire population of the country, that’s still a huge chunk of people, many who ALREADY HAVE Geico and are now looking at Flo from Progressive and thinking “She seems nice”

    That being said, I have USAA as well. Geico sucks. But for other reasons. Not because someone didn’t understand what being a “spokesman” entailed (IE Smiling, cashing your check, and shutting your mouth until your contract ends. You’d think a vet would be able to handle that). Just because someone is a vet, that doesn’t give them a free pass to eff up, especially where millions of dollars are concerned. Maybe Geico should just write him a statement of charges instead? hah

  12. able34bravo

    August 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    In Geico’s defense, they also fired their old announcer after he did a bunch of politically motivated stuff for the liberals, so at least they aren’t picking on just one party.

  13. Loki23

    September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Warren Buffet,
    kiss ass to POTUS

  14. Tallon22

    September 16, 2012 at 6:27 am

    Want to know who owns GEICO? … Warren Buffet’s Berkshire fund. Now you know the rest of the story!

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