The long holiday weekend starts tonight after final formation and there will...
Douche of the Week, David Belniak
By RU Rob
On Christmas Day 2007, David Belniak was involved in a horrific traffic accident in Florida. David, who was estimated to be traveling at 75-85 mph in a 45 mph zone, slammed his truck into the back of a car which was stopped at a red light. Authorities say that Belniak was driving while intoxicated on alcohol, Xanax and cocaine. Three people died as a result.
Last August, Belniak pleaded guilty to three counts of DUI manslaughter and was sentenced to 12 years in prison. During the entire court proceedings Belniak never said a word, not even when the victims’ children asked for an apology.
But he is speaking out now.
Yes, you read that right; Douchetastic Belniak is suing the estate of the victims for his “pain and suffering … mental anguish … loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life” and the medical bills he received as a result of the crash HE caused! Hey dipshit, what about the “pain and suffering” you caused the families of the victims? Is it not good enough that you killed them because of your stupidity, but now you have to throw in another jab at the surviving families?
The case itself was filed by Belniak’s attorney who also just happens to be his sister. Hmmm, I am starting to wonder … is Douchebaggery hereditary? If so, can we call it Douchebagatosis? It appears to me this family may be infected with it. And since we are already speaking about the family, why don’t I go ahead and throw in the fact that Belniak was listed as an officer in the family construction company, one that has 12 properties in its name. There is no shortage of money but the brains seem to be lacking in this family.
This isn’t the first time this fuck-nugget has been charged with DUI either. One time in 2003, a Florida police officer found a gallon of the date rape drug GHB in the trunk of Belniak’s car after his arrest for DUI. Yes, I did say a gallon! For this crime of passion, (well maybe not passion) Belniak pled guilty and spent seventeen months in state prison for trafficking GHB and DUI.
In 1994 Belniak was involved in another “accident” when a pedestrian was killed after being hit by our favorite fucktabulous friend. Somehow, Belniak was not charged for this event.
It is a good thing you will be driven to the court room by means of a jail transport van; otherwise we would probably be down another innocent family to your antics. I have seen more responsible decision making in the gaggle of geese currently shitting on my car.
David Belniak, I can no longer speak on the retardedness of you or your family. I hereby sentence you to Douchebagistan and coronate you Minister of Transportation and Population Control. It is because of you that we will keep the population of D-Stan in check; all we have to do is give you a company car.