Douche of the Week: Congress. Again.

Updated: December 19, 2013


By RU Twisted

Just when you thought Congress couldn’t sell the country down the river even further, they went and proved every one of you wrong.

Yeah, I know—they’ve done some pretty douchetastic things in the last few years (decades?), but this is a special kind of “F-YOU” to the military and Veteran community. This week sent a message that a majority of our elected representatives think about as highly of you as a poopy-flavored lollipop.

In the most recent budget deal* proposed by Congress, it is estimated that military retirees will lose approximately 20% of their pay in the coming years. Pay that, as you all remember, they earned by serving their country for 20-plus years.

Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL), ahead of a recent vote, attempted to pull some magic dust out of his arse to try and force a vote on a portion of the bill that would “cut retirement benefits for military retirees by $6 billion over 10 years.” His efforts, though noteworthy, failed and the bill moved forward, after which the senator stated that “By blocking my amendment, they voted to cut pensions for wounded warriors…Senators in this chamber have many valid ideas for replacing these pension cuts, including my proposal to close the tax welfare loophole for illegal filers, and all deserved a fair and open hearing. But they were denied.”

Senator Kelly Ayotte (R-NH) was another voice who joined Sen. Sessions in labeling this bill as “unacceptable” to men and women in uniform. Their input was, unfortunately, shouted down by everyone with a “D” after their name and several Republicans, as well.

Rant Mode: On.

Anyone who does not see a huge problem with this needs to take a long, hard look at life and ask what it means, what is truly important, and why they think that way.

Please understand, as I have stated here at The Rhino Den numerous times, I understand government cuts in spending and would love to see more of them. Ours is a bureaucracy that has given the term “reckless spending” a new definition and needs to have the brakes pumped on it more than a few times. The amount of tax dollars being thrown around are beyond absurd and it is largely unsustainable.

That being said, what makes very little sense to me—and should outrage a good number of people in this country—is the idea that in the category of spending cuts, military retirement pay is not only on the table but near the front of the line. While Defense Department budget should in no way be a sacred and untouchable cow, how in the name of all that is stupidly wrong with this world did it come up before so many other, ridiculous wastes of money?

Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK) came out two years ago with what he called the “Waste Book” of federal spending. Some highlights include the promotion of Alaska’s “Bridge to Nowhere” that was….never built; retirement and disability benefits to federal employees that were….already dead; funding to build an IHOP in…a high-dollar real estate area of Washington, D.C.; even money to research video games was shelled out using your tax dollars.

senate floorTax dollars that, you’ll remember, military members pay as well.

The list of idiotic money pits continues:

* Celebrity chef shows in Indonesia

* $10 million for a Pakistani Sesame Street

* Half a million for a study on how rock music affected the Cold War

* Half a million for hippie pizza

* Millions of dollars in foreign aid to numerous countries that don’t need it, to include—but not limited to—China.

All told, in Senator Coburn’s book he came up with just over $6 billion in wasteful spending in 2011 alone.

$6 billion. Where have I heard that number before…

Keep in mind, this doesn’t even scratch the surface of spending in areas like the ones Senator Sessions mentioned. Yet those astonishingly take a back seat to the pay of men and women who signed on the dotted line, raised their right hands, and swore an oath to serve their country with not only their time, but their lives.

Ensuring that welfare recipients are safe and secure apparently takes priority over those who worked for the country that paid them, rather than just taking from it.

Another entity that seems to be viewed as having a higher importance than the military and its Veterans is, to no one’s surprise, Congress itself—an organization that can give raises…to itself. Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY), that stalwart of freedom-hating nany-statism, stated that Congress has already sacrificed a lot by taking some “pretty big cuts” in pay having not had a pay raise in a “long time.”

Let that soak in…

Okay, now that you’ve punched a hole in the wall and thrown your laptop across the room, I’d like to pose the question you’re all thinking: what “sacrifice” would that be, exactly, Chuck? Considering that, in 2010, he was worth nearly $1 million, I have a very difficult time taking seriously any claims of “sacrifice” in terms of financial loss.

With all due respect, go suck start a shotgun, Senator Schumer. Your understanding of those who served has about as much relevance as a hang-glider on a submarine.

With its 9% approval rating, I am pretty sure Congress and their benefits should be on the chopping block waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy before anyone who wore the uniform and came under fire for these ass clowns and whatever it is that they think is important.

This budget deal is not set as of right now, and we intend on keeping you up to date as we receive information. The sucktastic oxygen thieves in Congress are sure to try and throw you under the bus again, but we will let you know as that happens.

Until then, go punch something that won’t break your hand or land you in jail. Because if you’re in any way as pissed off about this as I am, you’ll need it.


*Any time you hear “Budget Deal,” rest assured, you and your future is being treated with all the respect of a $2 crack whore.

Opinions expressed are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect that of The Rhino Den or its parent company, Ranger Up.




  1. Chas

    December 19, 2013 at 11:54 am

    I’m embarrassed that Schumer and I share the same state.

  2. Mike Bachman

    December 19, 2013 at 2:12 pm


  3. SeaWitch

    December 19, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    “Suck start a shotgun”… oooh, I’m gonna have to use that. I’m forward deployed right now to Africa; this has to be the biggest “fuck you” from the duly elected I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been in for fifteen years. It’s crushingly, despairingly sad that if we break OUR side of the deal, we get sent to prison, but if THEY break THEIR side of the deal, it’s “expedient politics”.

    • allan

      December 20, 2013 at 6:27 pm

      What all service men/women need to do is when facing the question of re-upping, that you direct the comments of this failed Congress to your Commanders, they need to do something about this. We are about to lose our best and brightest without firing a shot.

  4. James Helm

    December 19, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Clearly, they don’t care. But then, history always repeats – the Congress is merely continuing it’s greedy, gutless ways. I am, as an American, a veteran, and an independent voter ashamed that these men and women represent politics in this country. I would suggest that the most effective response to their conduct is to remember it at the polls in 2014.

  5. Bushmaster Bill

    December 19, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Unfortunately, 90 percent of the country has been ignoring this because oh holy fuck, the Duck Dynasty guy doesn’t support gay rights! Stay classy, America.

  6. Froggy

    December 19, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    This is hardly surprising or unexpected. I am a very recent retiree and I do not relish the prospect of this, but I didn’t do those 23 years for the money and if you did I question your intelligence. We are now counting on Obama to save these benefits which IS unexpected. There’s no use crying about this, but if you ever really thought there was anything behind all of those “thanks for your service” comments I guess you now realize that is a bunch of bullshit now too. If anybody really gave a fuck this wouldn’t be possible.

  7. KBG

    December 19, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Time to take back our country!!!!!!!!…Read Thoms Jefferson.

  8. KBG

    December 19, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    Heres a thought….Baghdad, circa late 2006…or 2007..Route Irish…All douchebag congressional assclowns sitting on an unarmored bus…Muqtada’s or some AQI trigger men with multiple EFP’s just waiting for them to drive by. Suck on that Congress!

  9. leftoftheboom

    December 20, 2013 at 12:06 am

    The reason we see congress doing this is that one they do not care. It does not matter what side of the table they sit on, they are on their own side and we are on ours. Look at the financial make up of congress. Dianne Feinstein is worth an estimated 43 million; Harry Reid is worth an estimated 6 million, Nancy Pelosi 101 million, John Kerry 237 million. Do you honestly think these people give a flying fuck about you or your service? And yes I picked on democrats but republicans are really no different. House or Senate; they are both full of multimillionaires.

    So why does someone with no need of money want to be elected to office in the first place? Because they like money and being elected helps them make more, they have friends they can help, being wealthy is not enough to make you feel important. I mean it is like a sports trophy. If you have a few million in the bank, what sets you apart from your wealthy neighbors who also have a million or so in the bank? Having been elected to Congress or the Senate, President, Secretary of one of the executive branches will set you apart from the millionaire pack and give you a lifetime of perks. They are not there for You.

    The people that elected these individuals want to be taken care of. We are becoming a welfare state where the middle class is going to pay for everything because you know damn well that the rich aren’t. 40% of the members of congress have more than a million in personal wealth reported. And you think they are really interested in taxing themselves? Seriously you need to read the bills, they know where the perks and cuts are because the write them in for themselves.

    The money they are cutting comes from cost of living increases. But so long as you live within your means, you can survive without those increases. It might not be easy but you can. This country is not about taking care of the military. Right now they are dealing with a budget crisis because they made the military attractive to serve in after Viet Nam, so baby boomer kiddies could put on a uniform and strut, and not enough of us died in Iraq and Afghanistan. So there is a retiree problem. So many survived 20 years that they have to make sure that no one short of 15 year is going to think about it unless they are someone willing to tow the line. They want to go back to a conscript force because then you will not have so many retirees to take care of. They used the Guard and the Reserve to bolster the regular forces, without activating the draft, and kept them on a continuous deployment cycle for 10 years. Why?

    Because if you burn out your volunteers by working them to the point of death, you don’t get many who want to stay for 20 years. You have to really like punishment to serve that long. So what do we have? The military is drawing down and they Want a high turnover rate. They don’t care about readiness. That is lip service. For one thing, the Generals who are crying about readiness are the same ones Approved for their rank by congress. Do you really think that those Generals really gave a flying fuck about you? I worked directly for 5 individuals that made General Officer. They all worked on an agenda and that agenda was their advancement, not their soldiers lives, health, or future.

    So long as the welfare whiners are fed and entertained, they will vote the way the rich tell them to vote, then rich can still get elected so they can feel important, and the rich can tax the middle class to pay for it all. They don’t want people who are willing to serve a principle to have power or to feel important.

    The rich do not like the military. Someone who serves in the military has voluntarily given away most of their rights for the “Greater Good”. The only greater good a rich person has is their own wellbeing. They don’t understand us, they fear us, and they are not about to take care of us for those reasons.

    Why do you think the NSA is listening to everything? For Al Qaeda? Get real.

  10. Billy V

    December 20, 2013 at 1:55 am

    While I always hate to see any cut in military pay or pensions I think this whole thing has been blown way out of proportion. Let me lay out what it does (I actually went and read the text of the change and current law).

    If you are under 62 the following change applies:

    Current Law: You get a Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) based on the CPI increase. So if CPI went up by 2% you got a 2% COLA increase.

    Proposed Law: You get a Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) based on the CPI increase minus 1% and it cannot be negative. So if CPI went up by 2% you got a 1% COLA increase. If it went up by .5% you get no increase (no decrease either).

    If you are 62 or over, you get the same amount as it was prior to this.

    Here are some past COLA #’s:
    2014 (est): 1.5%
    2013: 1.7%
    2012: 3.6%
    2011: 0%
    2010: 0%

    Your rates every year will not go down, so you are not losing the money. If you don’t get a raise at work you do not consider it losing the money, you make the same amount.

    This only effects working age retirees. Most people who retire from the military get out and get a job. Those that are of retirement age are not effected. They actually get their COLA readjusted as if it was never in effect.

    This is only for those that actually retired from the military, as in served over 20 years, so according to the Office of the Actuary about 15% of the enlisted who served during Iraq / Afghanistan will serve 20 years and qualify for retirement.

    This does not effect those paid by the VA (disabled). Congress has (and quite often does) the ability to increase the base pay above the COLA increase. This does not effect that at all.

    Now I understand the whole don’t screw the Veterans argument, hell I am a disabled Veteran, but let’s actually keep it in context here. This is not nearly and damning as everyone keeps saying it is, it will be about $600 less of an increase a year from COLA.

    • Gunship Load

      December 30, 2013 at 9:12 am


      Perhaps you are missing out on what the big deal really is. For me it is not about the money at all.

      It is about the fact that I signed a contract with the governemnt, that I would do “this”, and they would do “that”.

      If you sign a contract to buy a house, is your mortgage lender allowed to change the rules 75% of they way through your mortgage? No, they are not.

      Why should the federal government allowed to do so.

      I signed a contract, they also signed that contract.

      I have not failed on my end, why should they be allowed to fail on thiers?

      I have a feeling that this is only the begining of what they will do to our retired veterans, and the rest of the country will soon follow.

      Heaven forbid that “we” take away from those with thier hands out… Instead lets take away from those willing to work for what they have.

  11. Rudy

    December 20, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    I guess I am still failing to understand this… As a medically retired Paratrooper, it is my understanding that “defense budget” and “GWOT funds” had nothing to to with medically retired vets, and or the Department of the Veterans Affairs. Moreover, why are we not seeing some type of advocating, appeal or lobbying from the Veterans Affairs? It’s a sh*t sandwich my friends.

  12. Jonathan

    December 22, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    Just sent this to the NY Senators:

    Senators Gillibrand and Schumer,

    I am contacting you in regards to your recent vote to cut the benefits of current and future retirees from the US Armed Forces. Your vote approving the cuts is a disgrace to all of the men and women who have fought and died protecting your rights as an American citizen. I understand that our country is in trouble when it comes to the national debt, but cutting the retiree pay for those who have shouldered the burden of protecting and defending our nation, is the last thing that we should be doing. A retiree of the US Armed Forces will never be able to collect 100% of the pay that they were making before they retired, and as for comments like “well, they have only worked for 20 years and can continue to work afterword”, I would like to point out that the life of a member of the US Armed Forces in not an easy one. Many of us have destroyed our bodies in defense of this country and live in constant pain. Finding a retiree who is in perfect health, and has no medical issues what-so-ever, would be about as rare as a unicorn sighting. You on the other hand, only have to serve 1 single term in the US Senate, and you are able to keep your benefits for the rest of your life. How is this at all fair? How is it that you can justify voting the way that you did? I can assure you that your actions do not come without consequences and that when your name next appears on my ballot for voting, yours will not be chosen. You and your fellow members of the US Senate have broken the promise that we all recieved when we signed up for military service, that we would be taken care of. You and all of the other Senators who voted to approve this measure should be ashamed of yourselves, and if it were up to me, I would be expecting your resignations.


    Jonathan D. Wronski
    SGT, USA (Ret.)

  13. J

    December 23, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    I can’t take credit for this, but I don’t know who the author is. Anyway…

    I do not like this Uncle Sam
    I do not like his health care scam

    I do not like those dirty crooks or
    how they lie and cook the books

    I do not like when congress steals
    I do not like their secret deals

    I do not like this jobless rate or
    speeches filled with racist hate

    I do not like this Marxist plan
    I do not like this “kick the can”

    I do not like this spending spree
    I’m smart I know that nothing’s free

    I do not like “no common sense”
    I do not like downsized defense

    I do not like their smug replies
    when I complain about their lies

    I do not like this kind of “hope”
    I do not like it Nope Nope Nope

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