Douche of the Week: Brock Allen Turner AND His Father–a Family Affair

Updated: June 10, 2016


By Elana Duffy 

Brock Turner. If you don’t know who he is you not only live under a rock, but there isn’t even a Rhino Den under there. Maybe you’re coming back from deployment or have been stuck at JRTC for the last month that feels like half a century.

Or perhaps you’ve been in maximum security prison and missed the news, because one person you will not run into there is our country’s latest (very publicly) convicted felon. Despite being found guilty by a unanimous jury of his peers on counts of assault with intent to commit rape of an intoxicated or unconscious (she was both) person, penetration of an intoxicated person, and penetration of an unconscious person, Brock Turner will spend maybe 3-6 months at county jail.

Yes, the judge is clearly a douche. Got it. There’s a movement to get him off the bench, with signed petitions and official forms submitted in the thousands to the state of California. Speculation on white privilege, affluenza, shattered swimming career dreams and the judge seeing a bit of himself in the rapist all circulate around the case.  Killed3Times

Rapeyface McBrockerson, of course, is a giant douche. He has no remorse, blaming the alcohol and the victim and everyone but his own rapist tendencies. Sorry, pal: guns don’t kill people, alcohol and short skirts don’t rape people. That’s all you.

But it’s way more than that. We have a father and son affair here. Daddy’s letter talks about the sad parts of taking 20 years from his kid’s future for 20-minutes of “action” (ahem: you know, attempted rape). The Sire of the Douche not only fails to see how his arrogant POS of a hellspawn ruined another life, he makes a multitude of rape culture references that shows exactly how close the apple fell to the tree. But Daddy went a step further now: he set up a fund for his dear boy. What, you spent all your hard-earned dollars getting your newly-minted felon the most lenient sentence conceived for such horrendously disgusting behavior? Sorry about your luck.

Wait, there’s more! He thinks his son’s punishment is too harsh. Three months in county on good behavior too much for humping an unconscious woman in an alley and shoving grit into her vagina with his fingers while pine needles filled her hair and gravel cut up her ass. So now Pops is trying to get kid cleared even more. Sex registry? Not his boy. No, because his boy is a GOOD boy and she doesn’t even remember.

Right. She doesn’t remember. He does. His red-eyed mugshot shows he knows exactly what he did when he ran. She was unconscious. She had no way to tell him to stop, to not drag her behind a dumpster and rip off her clothes. I know she was unconscious because, being a woman and thus having a vagina, the injuries caused from that GOOD boy’s fingers would not have me asking for anything other than to shove my knee between his dry-humping defective body and mine and kicking him as far off me as possible. Ever have a UTI? How about combining that with rubbing rocks inside whatever genitals you happen to have, like passing a dozen or more kidney stones, over and over? That’s what cutting the inside of the vagina is. So no, she wasn’t awake, and your rapist son knew it. Why do you think he didn’t take his pants off, pops? Because semen has DNA, of course! Your son, for being a worthless pile of garbage, knew way too much to be that drunk. So you know you need to raise a lot of money to try and say he didn’t.

The worst thing, though, is this douche affliction extends beyond the father-son. It’s brought every rape-denier and GOOD boy supporter out of the rat-holes they live in. They leave comments about how Brock couldn’t possibly have done this, how she can’t remember. Some columnist in the local paper even argued for the light sentence because clearly our rapist was super-duper sorry.

He neglected to mention whether or not he would say the same thing about a drunk driver who slams into a pedestrian and paralyzes them, ruining their life and livelihood, because they were super sorry, too, or similar crimes. Or the childhood friend of our rapist who said he was just great and if he said she was too drunk to remember and he was drunk then alcohol is the problem and rapists don’t cause rape anyway.

If you really want to get depressed, read the comments section on most articles and you’ll find at least one or two open defenders of scum, saying by leaving the party she was asking for it, and so on. mistake-2

Is this a disease of horrible lack of morals that is contagious somehow? Or is this a bigger problem, that the publicity of this trial and Daddy’s defense of his criminal son is acting like this farce of an election. We the people, but not in the patriotic sense, claiming we are only following our true and basic instincts. Suddenly ballsy enough to “say what we really think.”

Well when what you really think is that rape and racism and sexism and victim-blame and all the travesties appearing on our newsfeeds is okay, that doesn’t make you ballsy. That makes you a douche. And if you can see the defenders of Brock Turner and his entire entourage are reprehensible but yet you still support the espousers of racism and violence and other atrocities, you are a douche and a hypocrite.

Brock and his dad and his childhood friends and the judge and lawyer are douches this week and likely every single week of their horrible, sheltered lives. But we don’t have to be, and have an easy way out as those who have walked many lines in our lives.

Follow your moral compass. Veterans, civilians, all of us should be fighting for the high ground, not the lowest base.

Basically, don’t be a douche.




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