Crazy Army Wives

Updated: August 20, 2012


By RU Contributor Madeline Monday

My experiences with the FRG weren’t exactly great ones, but I want to preface this little rant with a sincere thank you and expression of ultimate respect for the Army wives out there who support their Soldier with loyalty, respect, and unconditional love. The military couldn’t run without them…..now for the rest of these cunty skanks!

My husband and I got out of the Army a few years ago and recently moved back to Ft. Bragg. Last weekend we went out to a bar downtown and we were sitting next to a group of women who were ranting about their husbands and the “super sassy” things they had said and done recently. Then one got up, begins to flirt with and eventually leaves with some other guy. The other girls gossiped about it but excused her behavior by saying “ Well her husband deployed AGAIN!” The next day a girlfriend of mine and I started talking about the worst or craziest things we had seen Army wives do to Soldiers in our time in the military.

These are the top ten:

1. Had a soldier served with divorce papers while he was in the field. Literally, she drove his truck out to the training area, got out, threw the papers at him and drove off.

2. Didn’t go pick him up from redeploying because she was training for a marathon and was out running.

3. Posted pictures on Facebook of her boyfriend playing with her deployed husband’s dog with his truck in the background at the beach.

4. Told his kids that he died in Iraq and wasn’t coming back.

5. Said he couldn’t be in his buddies wedding because he would have to walk down the aisle and dance with another girl.

6. Called his commander and asked that he not be allowed to leave the company during lunch and that he had to call her after final formation which gave him 14min to get from the company to the house.

7. Recorded him bitching about and calling his 1SG several unprofessional names, the next time they got in a fight she drove up to the company and played it for Top. (cunty…..but it was really funny from the 3rd party perspective).

8. Demanded all his email passwords. Once on his AKO, realized he had a NIPR account he failed to disclose, she email a video of him masturbating to everyone in his AKO contact list. Everyone. Subject Line: “Bryan likes to hide things from his wife.” One of the more shocking emails I ever got.

9. Got mad and took every piece of Army equipment the guy had in his garage and cut it into pieces or burned it 17 days before he deployed. CIF statement of charges was $3800.00

10. And the winner…. Crazy McCunty sees her husband talking to another woman at a ball, runs up and throws a drink on her screaming “ Bitch, who the fuck are you?” The lady’s reply: “I’m CPT so and so, the new Chaplain”


What are some of the crazy things you have seen Army wives (or husbands for that matter) do?  Funniest one gets a t-shirt to celebrate our addition of a female writer.






  1. Mr. Twisted

    August 20, 2012 at 11:31 am

    For the record, my vote is that numbers 3 and 4 are the worst…wow.

    About ten years ago at Camp Rudder, there may have *allegedly* been an Army wife who drove across the camp while drunk. After running through a fence and dragging it all the way back to her house. Allegedly.

  2. Antonio Aguilar

    August 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    There may have been an Army wife who went out to lunch with several soldiers from another unit, and when her husband found her, received this comment from said soldiers: “Dude, do you mind? I’m trying to hook up with this chick!”

    She may have then told those soldiers that her husband beat her, resulting in MPs showing up at his unit along with said boyfriends (plural). The resulting investigation found that he did not, in fact, beat her and she had to return the the U.S. as she was no longer a dependent after that. Apparently none of her new boyfriends wanted to pop the question.

  3. Jack Mandaville

    August 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Regarding #4… WTF?! That woman would be an ideal candidate for douche of the forever.

    • Mr. Twisted

      August 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

      “Douche of the forever”….

      Well, there we have it. My new favorite phrase.


    • maNic

      August 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm

      ha… that is awesome

  4. Trina

    August 20, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    Those are messed up and I agree #4 is wrong on so many levels! I also think some of them may have issues, especially trust issues.

  5. Karl Deleon

    August 20, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    When i was stationed in Germany, while on deployment, CID busted a prostitution ring in family housing area. the ringleaders were army wives who had husbands deployed

    • jack

      August 21, 2012 at 8:28 am

      they did that i hawaii too..

    • Terri

      August 21, 2012 at 10:01 am

      That was so in Schwienfurt Germany 1998 I think.

    • Becky Gilliam

      August 21, 2012 at 10:48 am

      Wow, you must have been in Mannheim!

    • Rob

      August 22, 2012 at 9:24 am

      That had to be Buedingen. Happened a week before I arrived in country back in 1996 while the Cav unit was deployed to Bosnia.

  6. Jinger

    August 20, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    Leslie Drinkwine…. nuff said.


    • Bravo57

      August 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm

      Nailed it!

    • Drew Z.

      August 24, 2012 at 5:19 pm

      Holy crap that’s my old CO!

      No wonder we spent nearly every minute in the field…

  7. Frosty McFrosterson

    August 20, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    Yeah, wtf over? Telling your kids their dad died in Iraq? Hate the guy or not what a f-ed up thing to do…on two accounts, you f-ed up those kids lives by saying some crap like that and you deprived THEIR FATHER of being able to see them. Not worth the air she breathes.

  8. Will Black

    August 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    I was invited to join a train on my CO’s wife in Alaska. I said no and walked away (but not without confirming who it was… PID and all that jazz). Next day I run into the CO and his wife on the ski hill in Ft. Wainwright. I knew, she knew, and she knew I knew. The only reason I didn’t tell the poor bastard was because a drunk SPC’s word isn’t strong enough to convince an officer that his wife was taking on a squad of Infantrymen the night before.

  9. CJ Smith

    August 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    I knew a girl that got pregnant from an affair she had while her husband was deployed and she said that she would just tell her husband that it happened right before he left. However, she didn’t know that doctors can tell you the exact week you conceived and that 40 weeks is 10 months not 9. Oh and the fact that the guy she slept with was black. Her husband is white.

  10. Steph

    August 20, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    Knew of an army wife that had sex on Skype in front of husband while he was deployed… Because she thought he was cheating on her in Iraq.

  11. Charles

    August 20, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    What is this we got out the Army shit? Did you serve? Because if not, he got out the Army and you followed. Army wives have the most tucked up sense of self importance.

    • RU Rob

      August 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm

      Why as a matter of fact she did serve…honorably! Why don’t you wait a moment before you start spewing off at the mouth and making assumptions. Because we all know what happens when we ASSUME, now don’t we Charles.

      • LydiaMJ86

        August 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

        Thank you for pointing out that she also served. I actually assumed that she did when she said WE. I am sick and f-ing tired of everyone thinking that I am the dependant and my sweetheart is the service member…. I AM A COMBAT MEDIC/VETERAN. I will CONTINUE to serve my country until I am too old or broke to do it. DO I NEED TO POINT OUT THAT I AM FEMALE????

    • Madeline Monday

      August 20, 2012 at 7:53 pm

      Charles I was in the Army almost twice as long as my husband.

    • Skinni

      August 20, 2012 at 10:29 pm

      Dude, how about you have a tall glass of SHUT DA FUCK UP!!! I bet you were probably the victim of one of the aforementioned things.

    • trishisadish

      August 21, 2012 at 8:52 am

      Apologize to the Lady for bein an ASS Charles!!! And before you stick your foot in your mouth again…. I spent 15yrs in the Navy and spent the last 2 supporting My other half till he retired!!!

      • Instinct

        August 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

        Oh, I am sure ol’ Chucky Cheese there will never post an apology, that would mean admitting he was fucking stupid and stuck his foot so far in his mouth that his toes are sticking out his ass.

        Nice job, Chuck

    • Bluesheepdog_WA

      August 21, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      Hey Chuckles – remove the stick from your ass, shut your pie hole and listen up sonny.

      You may not realize this, but dedicated military spouses serve right alongside their active duty service members. Their commitment to whichever branch of the military their loved ones serve in is just as great as the Soldier, Sailor, Airman or Marine who serves. Who the hell do you think takes care of things while the active duty spouse is off halfway around the world doing their duty for God and country? Who takes care of the kids, pays the bills, keeps the house up and running etc, etc. so that the deployed service member can have a few less things to worry about while deployed? Who do you think lies in bed at night wondering if their loved one is ever coming home again? And if they do, if they will be the same person they sent into harm’s way or come back broken in some manner in mind, body or spirit. Most of the time family is the only thing that keeps a lot of these guys and gals moving forward and doing what they need to do to come home safe. I learned that lesson a long time ago both as a veteran and a cop. It gave me a greater appreciation for just how much support the people who stand behind you give you while you are standing on the front line keeping them safe.

      Asshats like you have no idea the sacrifices military FAMILIES make to keep you safe and I think I speak for many of us when I say we would prefer you sit there quietly, keep your negative comments to yourself and be thankful for services rendered. Otherwise I will cheerfully give you a first class ticket to Douchebagistan.

      • Kyle

        August 23, 2012 at 1:35 pm

        While I agree Charles’ assumption that the writer was not in make him a douche, that doesn’t mean that his statement is not accurate. Being married to a soldier does not make you in the Army, it makes you the spouse of a solider. If you have a problem with that, go to your nearest recruiting office.

      • Charles von Fancypants

        September 4, 2012 at 12:03 am

        wrong. you may deal with them being gone, but you’re never shot at, blown up or targeted for death. come the fuck on and get over yourself.

      • christy

        January 30, 2013 at 4:27 pm

        beautifully put sir

    • Margene

      February 9, 2013 at 12:17 am

      Crazy Army Wives?! I was married to a staff sergeant and he was stationed at Ft. Ord for 6 years. He had OCD and white gloved the furniture. (After almost hemmoraging with my second child), I had 2 in diapers and 1 in school. His men wondered why their uniforms looked better when Sgt. C took them to them to the cleaners. He wasn’t taking them to the cleaners. He was bringing them home to me to wash, dry, starch and iron. He used to threaten to kill me and chased me with a spray can and a lighter. His family leased their land on islands in the Pacific and got millions. So then there’s big trouble. First with the General and then with all the girls. Strangers showing up with babies. After 20 years I remember that someone did try to kill me but unfortunately I haven’t remembered being thrown in. I wondered where the dent in my head came from. I remember the descent was like being a fish in a blender. Then 5 years after remembering the first part, i remembered the second part. I came out and some people from Tennesse found me. They said “Where did you come from?!” I said “North Carolina.” And they said “We came from Tennesse but not like that!” They took me home. I didn’t remember my name or how old I was but I remembered my address. My husband was disappointed to see me. His girlfriend fainted. His Army buddy said I was “immortal.” A doc in 2001 found I was missing an appendix and had no scar from an appendectomy. I was sunburnt looking and water kept pouring out of my ears. I was scraped up and I still lose a lot of hair. I combed a lot of crappy stuff and glass out of it. As soon as I found out who my children were I started taking care of them. I was angry to find my hair growing out brown. Some woman used to call me on the phone about how their insurance didn’t cover it. I figure it was 4/30/88 because the next year my children and I were threatened by a man on the phone who wouldn’t stop and no one would bug the phone. I called the cops and they left me outside the Army hospital for 30 minutes while I was waiting to be shot. I’m still not afraid of the dark. That cured that. They dumped me in a mental ward in Salinas. The calls didn’t stop and I wrote down clues and mailed them out and visited the FBI 3 times. I didn’t understand who I was writing about until I came across the book “Most Evil” by Steve Hodel. His father was a psychologist (and a serial killer). I recognized him and his voice recording on the internet. He must have been curious when he found out a woman survived the Glory Hole at Lake Berryessa. My first daughter and I ended up on a bus going back to NC for 5 days and then I went 4 days back to try to get my son and daughter. Their father put me on a plane alone. He got out of the Army and went to Seattle and on to Saipan. My son and daughter are both in the Army now. My daughter called me from VA and we went to see her. Beyond happy! Her aunt told her she had an underbite because I beat her. That liar. I said “look at my underbite. It is hereditary. My father had an underbite too…kind of like a Hapsburg jaw. We inherited it from a little woman in Rowan County,NC who used to tell people “I will live to eat the goose that eats the grass that grows on your grave!” I am not a good swimmer but I learned to FLOAT at a Baptist camp. I don’t give a rat’s ass if you believe me. I still have trouble breathing and I must run a fever when I sleep. It is possible you know because a man once fell out of an airplane without a parachute and lived. The conditions of the water were just right. Now, if you knew me at Ft. Ord and I was less than pleasant, please forgive me. I was one of those Army wives that you say have “the most tucked up sense of self importance.” I was with the Pink Bayonet!

  12. Bullet Catcher

    August 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    My ex-wife dropped me off at the gate of Camp Darby for Ranger School…wait for it….and served me divorce papers before I got out of the car. Can you say, “Douche of the forever”

  13. TripWire

    August 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Wife was standing in front of the tv bitching about one thing or another while I was watching football, after I (politely, maybe not so much) asked her to move she stabbed me in the shoulder with a fork after which I grabbed a can of spray starch and threw it at her as she was running away. Next day I get called into the CO’s office after he got a call from her. She had only told him that I threw the can at her and left out the stabbing part. I showed the Captain the wound and he left it at that. Bitch left me one week into my next deployment and I couldn’t be happier.

  14. Shannan

    August 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    It’s not just Army wives. There’s a reason the old chief’s club here in San Diego was loving monikered “Cancors and Sores”.

  15. KS

    August 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    In the late 90s, by best friend’s brother was stationed in Korea. His wife was in the states with their kids. She ransacked her house, beat herself up…that’s right, Fight Club style beat herself up and reported that a couple of big guys broke into the house while she was sleeping, robbed it, and beat her up.

    She did this in an attempt to have his company send him home from Korea…permanently. It didn’t work. The “stolen” items were found in a shed in their backyard. This was only one of the minor things she did.

    It still took another five years for him to drop the psychotic bitch like a bag of rocks. He tried to make it work for the kids, but eventually they got old enough and asked him to divorce her. He got the kids, she shacked up with her boyfriend until he got arrested for assault and dealing drugs.

  16. agnes

    August 20, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    #4 is my step-sons biological mother who told this to two boys near the end of their father’s 15 month deployment. Yes indeed she is the douchebag forever award recipient for this and all of the other county things she has done.

  17. Madeline Monday

    August 20, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    I am happy to report that number 4 did get full physical and legal custody of his children and they are all doing great!


  18. SGT Neil

    August 20, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    Holy shit. That’s all I got. Other than the fact that the last sentence of the first paragraph made me howl with laughter.

  19. GI-Jenn

    August 20, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    It’s great to see a female veteran voice here! I served as well, and although I don’t remember any specific stories, I do definitely remember that some crazy stories were told, and then wondering why these guys would marry such whacked-out women. The whole FRG thing always amused me, as well, reminding me of high school in some ways. They had no idea how to deal with my (then) husband when we deployed…even leaving him off of the phone tree.

    P.S. Charles can go suck it.

  20. Ssgt Steve

    August 20, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    This is actually an Air Force spouse. Guy I worked with a year or so back. His wife tried to arrange someone to kill him. Now that’s not really funny but when it comes to the crazy meter that tips the scale in bat-shit. Also this fine specimen decided to take her back…..after the fact that she had a kid with another man and left him as she was still sucking up his BAH like that nasty sponge you have on your sink that you forget to squeeze out every night. You know the one

  21. Patty Crack N' Pack

    August 20, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    That’s all just fucked up… I knew a Marine wife that asked me to fuck her (she was an ex of mine), then when I said no, asked a buddy of mine to fuck her.

  22. Eric Warner

    August 20, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    …upon returning from a year’s deployment to iraq in 2003, I went to a neighbor’s BBQ and got wicked drunk. so drunk, in fact, that when I woke up in the morning (with alcohol poisoning, thank you very much), I found my face plastered in a puddle of my own vomit in my bed. first drink in over a year, and I totally blew it.

    I stumbled out of the bedroom to discover my now ex-wife sitting on the couch, pursed lipped, and angry like a snake. she said, “you got several phone calls”. I replied something to the effect of “huh?” and the phone proceeded to ring off the hook for the next several hours. my lovely bride had taken pictures of me sleeping in a pool
    of my own vomit and posted them all over the internet, and emailed copies to my parents, sister, in-laws, pastor, all my friends, my chaplain (I was a chaplain asst), SGM, and BN CO. I needed prayers and intervention… could somebody help her wayward husband please? mind you, this was the first time I’d ever been drunk in my entire life.

    needless to say, our marriage – somehow – did not survive the effects of my deployment.

  23. Steve

    August 20, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    Thats just wrong. Now how do you get a free tshirt like that bro-Chacho

  24. Trickedbyatrick

    August 20, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    I met a girl while on a training mission in Alaska. We met at a movie theater standing in line for concessions. It was my day off, i had nothing to do, had no knowledge of the area and just wanted a relaxing day. So, i went to see a movie. The girl and i start chatting, she invites me to sit with her then BAM! gives me a blow job in the theater. Awesome right? I thought so. Well, she asks me if i want to go somewhere and continue our “fun times” once the movie is over. I invite her back to my on-base room. She hops in my car and heads back with me and we do exactly what you think we would do all night.

    girl is smoking hot, seems nice and is actually smart…so what happened the next morning was a HUGE shocker. I asked her if she would want to get together again the next weekend (i had to train all week) and she says no BECAUSE HER HUSBAND WOULD BE BACK FROM HIS DEPLOYMENT BY THEN!!!! WTF!


    I promptly let her know exactly what i thought of her cheating on her deployed husband, kicked her out of my room (i have no idea how she got back to her car…taxi i guess?) and felt horrible for the remainder of my stay in Alaska. I thought she was just single, young and wanted to sleep with a Marine since there aren’y any where she is from? Who knows…but curses on her. I hope her husband caught on and left her. I also hope she got fat, got addicted to meth, lost her teeth and is living as a street urchin sucking homeless dick to make enough money for her next hit.

  25. Mad Mamma

    August 21, 2012 at 12:20 am

    I knew this wife once, overseas, that got several DUI’s on base and had her driving privleges revoked. During the course of this process she stole several items (a rolex and meds) from the Generals home during a party. She then propositioned the SF CC when she got hauled in for the latest DUI. The base CC banned her from base. The exact words of the General was, “Get this [email protected]# off my base!” She was subsiquently banned from being overseas and her husband (O-6) was sent back to the states with her. SHe later got sent to prison stateside for beating and stabbing her husband (assault with a deadly weapon).

  26. Raul Felix

    August 21, 2012 at 1:59 am

    Number 4 is just pure evil. What else can you expect when 19 year old PFC Snuffy marry’s the first chick he ever meets once stationed as his unit?

    • Jess Blackrose

      August 21, 2012 at 8:52 am

      no kidding right. I’d like to believe no one would ever do that. but I know better.

    • Antonio Aguilar

      August 21, 2012 at 5:46 pm

      Don’t blame it ALL on the PFCs! I’ve seen a few bad ones from other ranks too, though I will admit that the privates have a talent for finding bad ones.

      I had CQ one night and a PV2 brought in one of the ugliest girls I’ve ever seen (we’re talking hairs growing out of moles and such). She gave me a fake ID and I asked him where he picked her up. He said “housing” and that she told him she was 18. I told him he had 10 minutes to drop her at home and report back to me. He did so, and then thanked me and explained that her Myspace picture wasn’t exactly correct. I’m sure that she was probably actually seventeen.

  27. Cole

    August 21, 2012 at 3:59 am

    A few years ago as a SGT on CQ duty I happened to stop one of my company’s joes and his date before they headed upstairs. I thought she looked a little young, so I wanted to see ID to make sure there wasn’t any satutory rape going on. Turns out she had a dependent ID, but she wasn’t underage, she was a spouse.

  28. Lara

    August 21, 2012 at 7:35 am

    While I was in Germany we had a wife who video taped her and her boyfriend (reservist MP) having sex, after they both finished, the wife looked right at the video and said “btw I want a divorce” she sent the video to Bosnia where her husband was deployed.

  29. Rae Locke

    August 21, 2012 at 8:42 am

    I have a dozen skank of the week stories but my one of my favorites is a woman that lived below me in Germany.
    The 1st time I met this MEXICAN family I noticed their daughter had blue eyes & lightish hair. I didn’t really think about it until our husbands deployed & I saw her in the parking lot hanging all over an MP who had blue eyes & dirty blonde hair. I tried not to pay attention to who each wife was sleeping with on the side but I did notice his cop car outside almost every evening.
    I told my husband, because he had made a comment to me about the little girl, & his response was maybe he’s over there visiting his daughter & the only time he can do it is while her “daddy” is gone.
    They divorced shortly after he returned, & I’m guessing it was because this kid was about 3 so she was old enough to talk..

  30. Jess Blackrose

    August 21, 2012 at 8:43 am

    By far the Craziest Army spouse I ever saw was a few years back. Let me perface this with the fact the Service member was a ragging D-bag, but still.

    I don’t remember a time where he wasn’t saying they were divorced or going to get divorce… blah. They finally get legally separated… he goes off to recruiter school and they both start dating other people. He sadly starts to date a women from the unit. He gets back from school and decides to go to Fl with his girlfriend, after she tells him she “forgot” to sign the final divorce decree and she’ll take care of it on Monday. This woman then sends a girlfriend down to where they are takes a bunch of pictures of him and his new girlfriend together. Then Monday morning walks into the unit and shows it to the 1stsgt. Since they were still legally married. And the level of crazy of this woman, they couldn’t just blow it off, they end up having to charge him and her with adultery. He looses his recruiting slot, gets flagged, reduction in rank and loss of pay.

    And if that wasn’t enough… the Child support was messed up, instead of saying something right away she let it go on for 2 months and he was pretty much paying his whole check in support to her. Because the Bitch be crazy and he wasn’t about to allow her another way to fuck him over. And then 6 months later he actually ends up remarrying her. WTF!

  31. Kelly

    August 21, 2012 at 9:01 am

    We had a soldier return from the last deployment to find that his wife was pregnant with another man’s baby. She was yelling so loud that she was going to kill him (the recently redeployed husband), that from inside my house with the doors and windows shut I could hear her screaming. The MP’s were called and when they arrived to the screaming house and knocked she told them to go away. When they used their master key to open the door, she punched the MP in the face. The wife was arrested and the family lost command sponsorship.

  32. Josh

    August 21, 2012 at 9:01 am

    I had just reached my new unit as an NCO my first task was to get one of my new soldiers ready for WLC within 2 weeks of me getting to the unit he was off to WLC. That next weekend some of my friends from my last duty station took me to the club I hooked up with girl and I was kinda drunk she took me to her house and we did the dirty lol. When i woke up i noticed some boots at the door that were too big for her (also no pictures anywhere) so i left quickly. Well 2 1/2 months later our company has our annual ball and this soldier introduces me to his wife…guess who it is. She didnt go to his grafuation or anything so I had no idea who she was. But I had to tell my soldier that while he was at WLC I had his wife he tried to get me in trouble at first but then realized I did the right thing and we’ve been best friends since.

  33. AntiHugh

    August 21, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Two years ago, a wife who’s husband was deployed decided to party and sleep with another guy and then decided to call rape on him. She later admits to her friends that she lied and made a “mistake”. she thinks her husband has forgiven her but little does she know that he is still devasted and has vented about what she did to everyone in his unit and all his friends. She likes to act all high and mighty and has a mouth on her thinking she is the greatest thing since sliced bread but she is nothing but a raging fat thunder cunt that no one likes and people think she is an obnoxious slut.

  34. Dean

    August 21, 2012 at 9:06 am

    While I was a recruiter my wife went back to Ft. Drum to “see some friends.” What I didn’t know was the “friends” were half a field artillery battery and half an MP company. She then came home, informed me that she was leaving, and moved back up there with her boyfriend.

  35. AlphaDawg

    August 21, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Three months into a deployment one of my Marines gets a phone call from his new wife(I was in the wedding). Wife tells said Marine that she was pregnant and had a mis-carraige(sp). We send Marine home, when he gets home all of his belongings are at the end of the driveway. Wife was never prego and never had a mis-carriage. Wife proceeds to beat the Marine, he never fought back. He leaves and she stalks him, he has a restraining order placed on her, well Wife’s family is friends of Police Chief and Mayor, has the restraining order reversed and placed on him. A lot more B.S. went on while his unit is deployed and he had no support from Battalion. Long story short; Suicide. I was honor guard at his funeral, and that Loopy Fuckin Cunt tried to thank us for being there. I damn near spit in her face. I was a short timer. If it weren’t for his family being there it would have been ugly.

  36. MAJ Mary

    August 21, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Worst case of the revenge of the military wife took place with my CO’s wife. She had just caught him with one of his PLT Leader’s wives while the unit was out in the field.

    Best way to get revenge? Show up at morning company formation, dog in hand, run up the steps of the company, drop the dog in his arms, slap his face, proceed down the steps, and leave in HIS sports car!

    You go girl!!!!!

  37. Anthony

    August 21, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I seen a Soldier being yelled at by his 1sg for something his wife did over the weekend. His wife so happens to show up at the company area and heard it. She slammed opened the door and grabbed her husband by his ear and made him leave the office while saying “Get the hell out of here”. While closing the door she started to yell at the 1sg saying “Don’t you ever talk to my husband like that again”. The Soldier got an Article 15 with the works and eventually was Discharged because of some other crap the Spouse did.

  38. wobly

    August 21, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I was reassigned from Germany to a post near the Rocky Mountains after OIF 1 started. I was immediately deployed and returned with the unit 6 months later. 90 days after that, I was sent to school. When I asked my (at the time) wife to come visit me, she refused. After getting back, she had a “guy-friend” that she wanted me to meet and get to know better. She tried for a couple of months to get us to be friends. When he spent the night at our place over Thanksgiving, I walked in on them making out on the couch. Turns out that she met him with a group of woment that would go out for coffee and he would tag along, hoping to pick off the straglers. He was a retired MSG. We got divorced and I got rid of the couch before my next deployment.

  39. Matt

    August 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Back when i was a Marine, we had a guy, everyone called him Booty. One night, he was sleeping on the couch at home, his wife was snooping and thought he was up to no good. Well, Booty woke up soaked in lighter fluid and his wife striking matches over him. After about a half hour of her chasing him around the house trying to light him on fire, he was finally able to get out of the house and call a bunch of us to pick him up so he could crash at the barracks.

  40. Teela

    August 21, 2012 at 10:00 am

    There was an army wife who, at 7 am, crashed her car with 2 kids in the backseat and she was completely trashed (it was the monday after the superbowl.) The kids were 10 and 2 and had no coat or shoes on. The egg donor behind the wheel was knocked out and hurt and thank goodness the kids were unharm physically from this. But the 10 year old wrapped her sister up in a blanket and waved for help. The MPs took the kids into custody and took them home to grab some warm clothes only to find another child (age 7) with a bottle of nyquil passed out on the couch home alone. Egg donor of the year award, while husband was deployed.

  41. Mike C (MP USMC)

    August 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Had a friend’s wife show up at a Thanks Giving party, drink an entire bottle of wine (1.5 liter) in about an 20min, run over a Corpsman’s foot when he tried to keep her from driving, try to ram the MP vehicle roadblock (after they were called by yours-truly)one patrol car of which was her husbands as he was on duty that night, swerved at the last second and ran into a tree. All with her 6 year old son screaming in the back seat. It was a bad night for everyone. Everyone was alright but she spent the night in the drunk tank and their relationship didnt last too much longer.

    She was better than the other co-worker’s wife (being a MP is apparently bad juju for a marriage). She had a Freudian slip of “What, its not like I am going to go home and murder the kids before offing myself” to her husband that had been kicked out of his on base house after she made a false report of abuse. He of course called the Desk Sgt and had a few units roll over there. She wouldnt answer the door and when they kicked it in she was “preparing a bath” for the kids.

  42. Daisy

    August 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

    We had a wife during deployment that got busted cheating on her husband because she had a video on youporn giving some guy a bl*wjob. Well, he posted it on the website and the husband’s soldier ran across it. He thought she looked familiar and from what I hear the whole platoon saw it before the husband did…needless to say they divorced…She was still convinced that he broke up their marriage and that it was all HIS fault too. I mean what better way to get busted than by everyone your husband works with…face palm

  43. KT

    August 21, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Three weeks after our wedding, my husband deployed. After he boarded the bus I was standing there with the other wives waving good bye when the Queen of Cunts comes over to talk to me. She proceeds to go on and on about how bad my husband’s PTSD was when he came from deployment last time and gave me details about his last relationship and how it ended because of it. And how is ex was such a sweet girl and she hopes we can be friends like they were. Ummm…, no thank you. She then turns to me and says, “And if I ever find out you are cheating on R, I will be the first person to write a letter to him detailing your affair.” Then turns around and walks off. I had never met her before. My husband had to go around and ask his men whose wife was named “k” because HE didn’t even know who she was. Guess who told their husband a few months later that she was cheating on him with the guy who did their taxes? I had to go over to their house with some friends and a moving van to get his stuff and his dog back because she gave him a week to her them or she would destroy them. They tried to get back together after they divorced. But on the third deployment she sent her husband pictures of her having an affair. Needless to say, that was the last chance he ever gave her.

  44. Instinct

    August 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I swear I think half the reason some of these people marry military members is because they thing “Gee, while spouse is deployed I can fuck around all I want.”

    We had a guy who married a “bar girl” from PI. She screwed around on him every chance she got when he was deployed. Poor bastard was so dumb that even when she was videoed taking on the ordinance shop, he still said it had to be someone else because she was such a good person.

    Yeah… sure.

  45. Mark S.

    August 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Back in the 90’s when I was with Bno 2/505th, I was married to the same panamanian woman I am now and she was pregnant. One night some of the guys from the barracks wanted to go out to one of the local strip clubs to watch some titties shake. Well, we are there and there was this one dancer that was nicley endowed. During the dance one of my boys asked her to come over and talk to us. Long story short she propsotioned all 3 of us to run a train on her for exactly $178.35 each. They were drunk and I had a pregnanat wife at home so I got them to beg off. Long story short, a week or 2 later one of our 11C says he met this fine girl who was panamanian like my wife and wanted to get them to meet. He was all in love and was going to marry her. I said sure and he had his woman call mine. That weekend they show up and low and behold, his woman is the dancer from weeks earlier. I about passed out when she walked inot my apartment. Due to the fact my wife is extra cool and I don’t lie to her, I told her and she about laughed herself to death. She said she wondard why I was so uncomfrotable the whole time. This is just one of the stories from my career.

    • Docl18D

      August 23, 2012 at 8:14 pm

      Hey I was in Recon 2/505 PIR in the early 90’s

  46. Alan Pierson

    August 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    OH, I got a good one. My best friend and squad leader had the most horrible, pain in the ass, worthless oxygen thief of a wife. While we were deployed to Iraq in 2003, yes, the invasion, she took it upon herself to not only move her boyfriend into post housing, but to also let him cook up and distribute crystal meth from the said house. This went on for awhile, totally unbeknownst to any of us, and we returned home after our tour was up. Well, CID had caught wind of what was going on in the house, and one day kicked the door open, trashed the house searching for everything, and detained all of us who had crashed there sleeping off our welcome home party from the night before. We were all cuffed, piss tested, and all around treated like criminals until they figured things out. The idiot wife of his tried denying everything, until the CID agent produced the video tapes they had from all of the surveillance they had conducted. Long story short, my buddy finds out via CID that not only is his wife cheating on him while he’s in the war, she’s cooking up dope with her new boyfriend around his kids.

  47. dani

    August 21, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    My ex got busted for cheating on me. I found out a few months after I gave birth to are third little one. When I went to go the mail. A letter proving he was the dad and that this child was three months older then the one I just gave birth to. I was one of those that found out at the srp site after leave from deployment, that I was knocked up. I had a little war baby with him and he had the cunt whering my bathrob when I was in Iraq.

  48. Tony

    August 21, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    I’m an ex-solder, my daughter was born 8 days before i got a call saying come off leave tonight and be on post with all your gear to deploy by 2AM, I got the call at 9pm. After running around the house dragging all my equipment and uniforms for the initial trip to Kuwait, the house was no doubt a wreck. The following morning, after I just left, my wife got a visit from a Major’s wife in my unit. All she had to say to my wife was that the house was in no condition to raise a child and that maybe she (my wife) should clean it up. My wife just had a “c” section and wasn’t even supposed to be lifting our child.

    • Dani

      August 22, 2012 at 11:30 pm

      Boy some people need to back off

  49. Joe Dirt

    August 21, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    Hey Will Black,

    What was the woman’s husband in 1/25 at Fort Wainwright? If so, what company? I was there from 2007 to 2010.

  50. pinky

    August 21, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    When my husband was married to his ex wife he went home for r&r half way through the year long deployment. While home he cleaned the filthy house, bought $600 worth of new bedding for their room as well as a shit ton of other stuff for her. After the r&r was over and she was driving him back to return to Iraq she informed him that she wanted a divorce!

  51. George

    August 21, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Well, let’s see:
    -Wife across the street sold her husband’s car when he was deployed
    -left about 6 months worth of take out/delivery food boxes in post housing
    -ran his bank account dry
    -ditched the week before he came home so he had to come home to the filth and betrayal.

    And in general: any male dependent spouse without a manly job. Nothing more disgusting than a male camp follower.

  52. Amanda

    August 21, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    Well, let’s see…

    There is the one what moved her BF into housing the day after her hubby deployed and they sat out front every day.

    One married a soldier 2 weeks before he deployed, the soldier contacted the chaplain worried that she wasn’t coping mentally, I had to go to her house with the chaplain, then she left WITH his dog the day before they came back. She left no word with anyone that she was leaving.

    Then there was one who rumors started that she was a total slut, already sleeping with guys and they just got housing. All the FRG leaders were worried they’d be “stuck” with her. Turns out you can’t judge someone by what they choose to wear. Faithful wife the whole deployment.

  53. Vince

    August 21, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    When in Navy housing saw a brother try to run over a brother…. Related…. for having sex with his wife. Watched him drive his car over the curb and chase him down the street. Lucky for the brother there were speed bumps.

  54. George Moore

    August 22, 2012 at 12:44 am

    I was pulling CQ duty one Saturday at Ft Ord . When my CO called in asked me to take my POV tto HQ and pick up this llady drive her to her house on base. When we arrived at her home, her husband was there in a raging fit as he found Polaroid photos of his very soon to be ex wife getting busy while he was in the field.

    One of the individual’s in the photo happened to be my CO. The lesson learned that day was to get out of this unit as a CO who is willing to get involved in the personal life of soldiers in his command is not worth the time of day.

  55. JJ

    August 23, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    My husband had a buddy who married his high school sweetheart after we got to base. Her and I got along great until she took a trip home, slept with a guy, then refused to come back. They were married three months.

  56. Wes

    August 24, 2012 at 9:42 am

    This one is Air Force and near and dear to my heart……My Father got a call one bright early morning, we were living of base at Spangdahlem Air Force base in Germany, that they had my mother at the base gate. After quickly checking the house we rushed to the base to see what was wrong. My mother had gotten shit faced ,and decided to go to the base for whatever reason, wrecked the car on the way and walked the remainder naked….Just one of the lovely memories she gave me while we were there..

  57. Tfry

    August 24, 2012 at 11:16 am

    I am a former army wife. Former because he got out of the army, we are still together.

    while living on post at Fort Hood there was a couple across the street that were insane. My neighbors would all come hang out on our porch (we had the biggest front yard) so the kids could play and every night after the kids went inside it was show time. EVERY weekend CID and MP’s showed up to their house. The worst weekend 2 ambluances, a fire truck and 6 cruisers showed up after screaming and glass breaking. LAter that evening my husband, myself and our friends from next door were inside when a knock came at the door. It was the MP’s with the crazy wife, she was beat to a pulp. Her lips looked like they had bad botox. They asked the wives to escort her home and stay with her a while. The hosue was a disaster area. Apparently her husband put her face through a wall and a window. She was running around the house pissed that the cops took her stash of drugs and dumped all of her booze. she cried for an hour begging us to take her to the barracks to see her husband. He bought her a brand new tahoe the next week. Within a month he was in jail for wife beating and she was in for drugs. We didn’t see them after that.

  58. Mad Medic

    August 27, 2012 at 12:14 am

    Holy Donkey Shit Batman! ha ha. No I think that Staff Duty at Ft Hood would make regular check of the B’s and regularly pull more than a few brown cards says it all.

    Any of you run into a Pension Jumper? Married to a guy for 10 years you get half their pension, then on 10 years 1 day they jump ship, gets a new military man, and sucks off two pensions. Blew my freaking mind.

  59. Mel Maguire

    August 27, 2012 at 12:59 am

    A very old friend of mine showed me a cell phone video that I still can’t believe. He’d come home after being injured by an IED (he kept all of his extremities, but two of his buddies died and three others lost one or more limbs) and one of his friends, who had lost both legs at the knees and two fingers on one hand, was coming home for the first time so they all went to meet him.

    Apparently his wife was a colossal bitch who had refused to go visit him in recovery because they couldn’t afford to fly her first class. Nobody knew what to expect but nobody expected her to react the way she did.

    As soon as he got close enough for her to see that he was not only missing his legs but he’d lost all the muscle mass he’d had before his injury, she walked up to him and said, “why couldn’t you just die over there?” With that, she walked away and left everyone completely stunned. She actually went back to his car – the car that he had picked out and paid for – and drove away without him.

  60. SSG Huck

    August 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    At FT Lewis in the 90’s my teamleader married a woman right before a deployment. He knew her for about two months. Itried to tell him he should wait until he got back but I’m sure you know how THAT convo went. 5 months into a 6 month deployment she leaves him… she took his car, sold his stuff, and left him with a pile of bills including 5 months of mortgage payments (oh and cleaned out all his accounts). When he started investigating this woman to try to track her down he got a real surprize… she didn’t exist. Fake name. And she had done this before! In fact, she was still married to at least one other soldier when she hooked him! “Douche of the Forever!”

  61. Randy Hillcrest

    September 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    I got off active duty while my ODA was deployed, so I was sent back early to out-process. While I was clearing post I ran into my junior Bravo’s wife at the PX. She asked if I could come by to cut the grass because her HOA was jumping on her about it. I said “sure” and stopped by the next day. The next day I went over to my buddy’s house, got the mower out of the shed, cut the yard, swept up the clippings, whole nine yards. As I’m getting ready to leave, his wife yells at me from the window and asks me to come to the door. When I get there the door opens and she says that she wants to thank me. Before I could say anything, I walk in and there she is in a skimpy blue neglige and nothing else. Oh and did I mention that SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY SMOKIN’ HOT? After some full on hand-to-hand between my good side and my dark side, I stammered something about being late for a meeting and walked back out. The worst part is that I never got to tell him about it because I got out before he re-deployed. I heard later that they ended up getting divorced. I wonder why?

  62. Rehtse

    October 12, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    I know this is an old thread, but I was just bored and wanted to see all the crazy army stories there were on the Internet. What is a NIPR account?

    • Doc Williams

      August 5, 2013 at 5:45 pm

      NIPR stands for Non-classified Internet Protocol (IP) Router Network. It is actually NIPRNet but we have shortened it to NIPR. All nonsecure communications happen on NIPR to include 97% of garrison comms.

  63. J

    November 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    I was in my second school after finishing up boot and was stationed down in San Diego. My buddy tells me that we need to hit up the Trophy Lounge in National City since they don’t card (we were 19) and they had some awesome talent there. So I went and soon met my first West Pac Widow, we are talking for about 30 mins and I finally notice the ring she is wearing so i ask “So are you Married” in her best english she replied “No, No I not married, my husband e on deployment”

  64. Heywood Jablome

    January 6, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    Air Force story. Missile cops and missile cop wives, 3 squadrons of them. It was like a giant game of musical beds. One husband confronted his wife about it before he went to the field. He told her that she should have all her shit out of the house by the time he got back from the 3 day ‘field-trip’. before she left the house that night she ran a hose from the water heater in the basement to a sprinkler on the front lawn aimed at his brand new car turned it on and left. oh yeah. This was at Grand Forks AFB. In February. -15F outside.
    By the time the neighbors woke up, saw it and reported it to housing maintenance and they got out and got the water shut off there was 8 – 10 inches of ice encasing the car. I’ve got a picture of it somewhere. I guess that was more funny than evil, but it was the only story i had.

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By Mr. Twisted   For those who have not read about this story in the news already, a brief rundown:...