In a Ranger Up world, the instructions on a magnesium trip flare would say, “Do not light in front of friends for the purpose of entertainment,” which wouldn’t matter anyway since none of us can read.

A butterbar Lieutenant in charge of a multi-weapon, combined range in Korea was told, “don’t bring back any ammo.” This is how those “what NOT to do with live ammo” videos start.

by Tommy Batboy
There’s an old saying that says everything happens in three’s. If that’s the case, douchebags of the world, please stay the hell away from Nick. You don’t want to be the third troll to try and pick an unprovoked fight, or if you are- just remember I told ya so.
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An angry little man starts a fight with six RU guys in an elevator. Never underestimate the power of hidden insults.

THIS JUST IN: On his way to his Friday night fight, Tim has an interesting airport experience…

While in Germany, Nick and some friends hatch a ridiculous plan to befuddle not only the editors of Stars and Stripes, but all of its readers. Find out what RU Nick and his friends did…

It’s been a while since the last episode in the Dumbass Chronicles. For this story, we look internally, as Tommy shares a recent story from Guard training…

The Dumbass Chronicles are a compilation of our most amazing, and embarrassing moments. Find out what makes us tick…

I was never afraid of spiders until one tried to sting me, wrap me in a cocoon, and hang me on its wall for a midnight snack. It was 1995 and I was a Captain assigned to the 3rd Battalion…

Dumbassery can take many forms. Some of us are born into it, physically lacking the appropriate mental filters to stop our mouths from creating situations of eternal regret.

have no poker face.

My emotions are always clear – particularly if they involve anger or amusement.

The best job in the world to me, other than earning the right to be a platoon sergeant, is being a platoon leader. I was fortunate enough to get to hold that job twice for the better part of three years…

Armed with a never-ending list of mundane tasks that require hours of effort, the UMO is like an anti-magnet for troops. Once afflicted with the title, even I wanted to kick my own gullible ass for getting tricked into the job.