RTFU

Kelly’s Writing

  • The Dumbass Chronicles: The Belt Lift

      By Kelly Crigger “Major Babyface thinks he can belt lift more than me.” It was an innocent enough statement, but one that completely belied my true intentions. “He’s smoking crack,”...

  • Finding the Funny in Life

      By Kelly Crigger It’s easy to see the bad in the world. It’s easy to profile a middle-eastern teen and overlook the well-to-do white kid with a gun in his...

  • Messing with Marcus

      By Kelly Crigger “Know why I’m wearing these duds?” I didn’t look at him hoping he’d go away. No such luck. “It’s Disco Night at that bar in Westport. Come...

  • Sense of Entitlement

      By Kelly Crigger ‘Haha. I wouldn’t work for that,” Lieutenant Colonel Bighead tells me. “It’s a fair salary,” I respond. “Everyone is cutting their budgets now.” “I’m worth more. Find...

  • A Fight We Will Never Win

      By Kelly Crigger For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Chuck him out, the brute!” But it’s “Saviour of ‘is country” when the guns begin to shoot; An’ it’s...

  • Wanting the Enemy to Win

      By Kelly Crigger   “When you’re twenty and see a mountain you want to climb it. When you’re thirty you want to own it. By the time you turn forty...

  • Killer Comic

    By Kelly Crigger   “Oh that’s clever…make fun of the trained killer in the room.” It’s my favorite line. I whip it out whenever someone gives me shit or tries to...

  • Nothing to Bitch About

    As hard as I try, I can't find anything to complain about. Well, there's one group of people who irritate me, but compared to what our troops are going through, even...

  • I Drink for a Reason by Kelly Crigger

    Most of us drink, but do we all know why?

  • Cubicles

    By Kelly Crigger  “I don’t want to work in a cubicle,” you tell the world as you get ready to retire from the service. “When I retire I’m going to be...

  • Let’s Get Drunk

    By Kelly Crigger Is there any better advice for any situation…ever? Don’t feel like going to class? Let’s get drunk and blow it off. You’re a lazy, illiterate shit and text...

  • Shut Up and Get Down with Lieutenant Dan

    By Kelly Crigger Gary Sinise is probably the most patriotic celebrity ever, with the possible exception being John Wayne himself. Sinise has traveled to combat zones more times than the Lindsey...

  • Rest in Peace, Seamus Garrahy

    I (Crigger) had the pleasure of meeting Seamus Garrahy at the end of the DC to Gettysburg Face of America ride in 2010. The ride ended at his house where all...

  • Three Drinks with Don Wildman

    Welcome to our newest series, Three Drinks With, where we sit down and toss back a few “beverages” with military-friendly celebs and pick their brains from our skewed view. If Amelia...

  • The Fire Within

    By Kelly Crigger My kid’s soccer team sucks. But that’s not the focus of this story. The focus is the anger that builds up inside me when they’re getting creamed beyond...

  • Wanting to get into the fight

    RU Writer Kelly Crigger penned this piece for The New York Times. Just because you volunteer to serve your country does not mean you will ever be sent into harm’s way,...

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