Every once in a while you meet someone that you really want to hate but just can’t.  You want to hate them because they are just so awesome at everything they do without really putting forth any major effort, but in the end they are just too damned nice to even consider hating.  David Perez is that guy.  Not only is he incredibly polite (he keeps calling me sir) but when he is not training to fight, coaching, or mentoring young Airmen, he is competing in ultra-marathons and century bike races, then donating his winnings to Veteran charities.

Born and Raised in East Los Angeles, CA, David’s fondest memory of his childhood was also his last. Leaving! Enlisting in the Air Force just over eleven years ago, David has found his new home in the Air Force and plans to hanging around as long as they will let him. I have a feeling that making the cover of the Air Force Times isn’t going to hurt any in that matter!

Perez has a self-proclaimed style of hybrid fighting that is based purely on endurance but claims his foundation comes from his younger years as a wrestler. As an example of his endurance; two years ago at the Buffalo Thunder King of the Cage, David fought and won by an arm triangle choke.  The following fight was supposed to be by his corner man who caught a bad case of the chickens and backed out at the last second.  The promoter asked Perez if he was interested in fighting again and without thinking twice, Perez stepped back into the cage without cooling off and won back-to-back fights with a 20 minute time period.  Talk about RTFU!

While he may come across as a smooth operator who rarely makes mistakes, David recalls a time when, as a young Airman, he was tasked with transporting a vehicle engine from the Air Force Base to a local garage for repair.  No big deal, right? Wrong! As he is driving down the road he hears a large thud and realizes that he just lost the unsecured engine out the back of the pick-up truck he was driving.  Perez explains he was a little embarrassed to ask for help in loading an engine from the middle of the road and had a little more explaining to do upon his return. 

Even though David is in the Air Force and works in the logistics field, I wonder if he secretly aspires to be in the Army-Fighting Tigers.  I asked Perez for the wildest thing he had ever done.  Without any hesitation he told of time he was hunting in New Mexico and had killed an Oryx (an Antelope looking creature for all those wondering).  Without delay he took and ate the liver of freshly killed Oryx and then smeared blood all over his face while howling at the top of his lungs. Ok, I may have exaggerated the whole blood and howling thing, but he still ate the warm, fresh liver!

David Perez has been fighting for Team Rhino for many moons and his next fight is April 14^th in Baltimore, Maryland.  You should really go check him out but if you can’t, give his new website a view www.davidperezmma.com.

Superstar!

Team Rhino has a ton of talented and dedicated fighters who have one thing in common, they are all Veterans.  But there is one member of Team Rhino that sticks out a little more than the others and embodies the Ranger Up mold just a little too well.  A fighter with the nickname of “The Zombie” because he just keeps coming, a self-proclaimed adrenaline junkie, class clown and all around good guy, Shane Kruchten.  I caught up with Shane on the phone while he was in Puerto Rico skydiving and was able to ground him long enough between jumps to ask him a few questions and not surprisingly, I was caught a little off guard with his answers.

To start with, we talked about the skydiving he was doing on the Island of Enchantment.  Shane explains that he has been jumping for the last couple of days but that the highlight of the trip so far was jumping at 22,000 feet holding onto an inflatable animal, a giant lizard to be exact.  He goes on to say that even though Puerto Rico is a beautiful island, they really aren’t used to seeing some crazy-ass Americano running down the street wearing a gas mask and sauna suit.  It definitely turned some heads.  In Spanish I think the proper word is el retardo!

Growing up, Shane came from very humble beginnings.  I asked him what his favorite child superhero was and he was completely stumped.  I pressed a little harder to see what kind of Underoos he wore as a child and was met with “What the fuck are Underoos?” I tried my best to best explain that Underoos were underwear for children emblazoned with superhero characters.  His response: “man I had welfare-oos the kind with yellow stains in the front and skid-marks in the back” while laughing hysterically.  I guess you really don’t need a superhero after all.

A wild-man, there is little that Kruchtens will not try or do.  While he claims to be an excellent chef in the kitchen, he also bragged that he has also tried some outlandish foods.  While Shane rattled off a long list of exotic foods; one in particular caught my attention…bull penis!  Fighting my urge to spontaneously burst out laughing, I quickly changed the subject.  The story of a man and his bull penis is best left untold.

Shane has been with Ranger Up for his last five fights and as a tribute to RU has the War Rhino tattooed on his right arm.   Working on completing his tattoo sleeve, Shane wanted to show the same loyalty to RU that they have shown him.  He is so proud of it in fact, that after his last win, a submission by rear naked choke, he posted on twitter: “Last thing [my opponent] saw before his nap was the RU Rhino under his chin #priceless.”

Fuck with the Rhino, get the horn!

Shane’s next fight is February 26^th at the Soboba Casino in San Jacinto, California.  If you are in the area, stop by and check him out.  You will not be disappointed.

Our good friend, Jorge Rivera

There are some friends who you value so much it is really hard to qualify into words.

I met Jorge Rivera three years ago in the same city where he ended his career: Nashville, Tennessee. For that fight, RU was not his largest sponsor, we were a small company that very few people knew, and given the general state of the MMA industry even now, there was no reason to believe we would even exist for his next fight. Furthermore, while fighters are generally very reclusive and private during the buildup to a fight, Jorge had also just lost his seventeen year old daughter, a pain that I can only imagine, and hope to never have to go through. In short, I didn’t expect any of his attention when I arrived at his hotel door to drop off shirts. I wanted to give him his gear, shake his hand, and get out of his way.

Instead, when that hotel door opened, I was greeted by an incredibly hospitable, thoughtful, and giving person who treated me as if we had known each other for years. He refused to let me excuse myself, introduced me to people in the industry I would have never known otherwise, and was incredibly open about his life. By the end of the day before weigh-ins, I felt like I had known Jorge, Matt Phinney, and Tim Burrill for years. I could see in Jorge a man that had made mistakes in life, but through them had acquired incredible wisdom and perspective, and wanted to impart that on those around him. For a guy who had achieved this level as a professional athlete, I was truly amazed by his humility and kindness.

By the time he entered the cage with Nissen Osterneck, hiding a broken hand and partially dislocated shoulder I might add, I felt like my brother was stepping in there. I don’t remember wanting anyone to win so badly in my life.

And he did.

It wasn’t pretty. He gassed early on and we all thought he’d get finished as a result, but he kept on pushing and pushing and refusing to quit. He did what Jorge does best: he fought.

And I don’t mean that in the sense of MMA. Jorge’s had every reason to give up in his life – sometimes because of self-made bad decisions and sometimes because of chance, but I can tell you honestly, he’s had a rough go at it. What makes him special, and what makes me look up to him, even as I examine situations I’d never be in, is that he has never shied from the struggle. When life hits him, he hits back harder. When he can’t hit anymore, he still manages to stand up. He’s not afraid of the fight – he embraces it.

I can’t explain our relationship exactly. Sponsor is almost an afterthought at this point. For my part, I’ve received middle of the night calls about strategy, business, stress, and anything else you can imagine (Jorge, like me, let’s his mind wander at night and can’t sleep). I’ve been there for the highs like beating a very game Nate Quarry in Charlotte with 50 vets cheering him on. I’ve been there for the lows, like watching my friend get kneed in the head and then be disrespected in Australia. Through it all though, it’s just been an honor to be here, to be counted as one of Jorge’s inner circle and to support him as best I could.

So as I sat cageside and Jorge’s last fight started in the same city our friendship had begun, I just wished to God that he would come out on top. As the fight started, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, as if I was the one about to fight. They began and Jorge had a bad start, but he hung in there, and although he lost the first round, he looked confident going into the second round. He shrugged off a takedown and landed a strong right hand. Moments later, Jorge Rivera’s last fight in the Octagon ended via TKO.

I can honestly tell you I don’t think I would have been happier if the win had been my own.

The first trip to Nashville saw us all go out to a swanky nightclub and party into the night around people we barely knew, seeing people and being seen and all that nonsense. This time around, it was just a small group of us renting out the top floor of a tiny bar: friends, family, and a few loyal vets that have supported Jorge for years.

“I just want to be around the people that matter, Nick,” was Jorge’s guidance.

I remember thinking simply, “I hope to always be on that list.”

Congratulations to a true warrior (in the Cav and in the Cage)on an incredible career. On to the next challenge, sir. We’re here every step of the way.

Love you, brother.

Jerrid spent 6 years in the Navy (insert random Seaman Joke here) as an electronics technician. While circumnavigating the globe he discovered one great truth that many Seamen know – Thailand is awesome. While he claims it was the awesome Muay Thai classes, he stutters nervously when asked about the infamous “Lady Boys” of Thailand. “I would never get caught,” he says. Hmmm, bad experience maybe?

After the lucha libre mask, grand entrances have become Jerrid’s thing and since then he’s worn everything from a Superman costume to a Tuxedo on a tricycle. Jerrid often wonders if his over the top entrances play Psyops with his opponents that he is completely out of control or if they gain a false sense of confidence as to his abilities when the Gummi-bear song is blaring overhead. One thing is for sure…if they should happen to end up on the ground, Burke has a tendency to submit his opponents from the bottom; with all of his professional submissions coming from that position…from the bottom! Unreal.

In reality, Jerrid traditionally likes to keep the fight standing and explains that it is easier for him to pace the fight on his feet and has some wicked kicks that would make a 100 foot oak tree tremble. The ultimate knockout that Jerrid has been working on excessively is the somersault kick to the head for a knockout. Maybe he could do that with the “Barbie Girl” song playing in the background for the ultimate “Fairy Knock Out.”

Did we mention that Jerrid has a girlfriend who just happens to have the nick name of Sexy Sargent and who just happens to be an MMA writer? This guy has it going on…except for his one downfall. Jerrid is an MTV addict. When not training his ass off or studying for his college finals he can routinely be found in front of the TV watching Teen Mom and Jersey Shore (he may have just lost a couple of cool points). While he is consumed by this-show-is-so-bad-that-I-can’t-stop-watching of teen-trash and Jersey Douchery, Jerrid most likely will be munching on pizza and doughnuts. He really doesn’t have that much trouble with his weight (must be nice).

If you should happen to be in the South Florida on 17 December, Jerrid will be fighting on the card for the Championship Fight Alliance 4 at the Bank United Center in Miami. Go check him out; he just may be rocking a 1920’s gentlemen’s moustache complete with twist for the Stache Bash!

As I was finishing up my last workout of the day craving carbs, and salt I couldn’t help contemplating how I could make some traditional Italian recipes spicier and add more alcohol (two things I brood on almost as much as wishing the zombie apocalypse would begin). Just the fact that two of the ingredients are vodka, and prosciutto should be reason enough to try this.

Not everyone can put away 6000 calories in a day, and its even more challenging to make those 6k actually taste decent. I have been searching for a purpose to my life for years… The higher calling of creating recipes, punching people in the face, and shooting things have at last brought peace and tranquility to my life. Stay angry my friends.

Ingredients

1 cup vodka
1 tablespoon crushed red pepper
3 tablespoons olive oil
3/4 pound prosciutto, chopped
1 large clove garlic, minced
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
salt and pepper to taste
1 (16 ounce) can chopped tomatoes, with juice
1 (16 ounce) cans tomato sauce
1 cup heavy whipping cream

Method

In a small bowl, combine vodka and red pepper flakes. Set aside for 1 hour.

Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Sautee prosciutto, garlic, parsley, basil, salt and pepper until prosciutto and garlic are evenly brown.

Pour in vodka mixture, and simmer 10 minutes. Add tomatoes, and stir in with can of tomato sauce. Simmer 15 minutes. Stir in 1 cup heavy cream, and cook 4 minutes.

I put the sauce over gnocchi and sautéed chicken.

Read the full story here

While on a Presidential detail in Paris, France (She hates the French as much as we do, just so you know), Kelsey and the guys were having a drunken fest at their 20-something-story-hotel. Kelsey went up to her room for something and as she jumped into the elevator on the way back down to the bar, the elevator car began to free-fall. Finally after falling a couple of stories, the brakes caught, but Kelsey was trapped and when she tried to call for help, the only voice that responded to the call box was one in French (cry me a river). As she waited for her knight in shining armor to come and rescue her, and as her life was flashing before her eyes, all that she could think about in her alcohol induced stupor was…food…yes…food; kind of anti-climatic, I know.

When you first look at her picture, one would think that guys are chasing Kelsey all over the place as she’s bringing sexy back, but Kelsey explains that she really doesn’t have too many suitors when she goes out on the town with her friends. I am just thinking here, but maybe that could be because the word has gotten out that in her last fight, Kelsey destroyed her opponent with some vicious elbows in the first round, and the fact that she towers over most people at 5’10”. I am just sayin…

Kelsey is good friends with fellow Ranger Up Fighter Colton Smith who volunteered for corner duties in her last fight. They originally met after a little bit of shit-talking after one of her fights. Not one to stand down from a challenge, Kelsey went up to Colton’s gym and was immediately schooled on the ground. But, after taking the game to a standing position and telling him “what goes around comes around”, Kelsey pummeled him with her boxing skills. From that point on they have been training together, even outside of the gym with Kelsey trying to assist with Colton’s lack of dancing skills. Kelsey’s favorite saying to Colton when he is feeling a little blue about his two-left-feet is to RTFU.

During the day, Kelsey can be found at the Marine – Martial Arts Center for Excellence – in Quantico, Virginia. It is there that she can usually be found beating the crap out of some cocky young Marine who just doesn’t think that a woman can kick his ass to which she responds “I will rock your body.” MACE is also where a little you tube video was made. It really isn’t that big of a deal, just Kelsey calling out a pretty famous singer and actor for a date to the Marine Corps Ball that garnered national media attention. Google it!

Ranger Up wishes to welcome Kelsey DeSantis to Team Rhino!

Soldiers Angels
Soldiers’ Angels is a bad-ass, volunteer-led 501(c)(3) nonprofit providing aid and comfort to the men and women of the United States Army, Marines, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, and their families. Founded in 2003 by the mother of two American soldiers, its hundreds of thousands of Angel volunteers assist veterans, wounded and deployed personnel and their families in a variety of unique and effective ways. “May No Soldier Go Unloved,” encapsulates the motivation behind Soldiers’ Angels. The volunteers of Soldiers’ Angels work tirelessly to demonstrate active care and concern for veterans, the wounded, deployed service members and their families.

Hire Heroes
Hire Heroes USA’s mission is to offer transition assistance, job search assistance, and job placement services to those who have honorably served in the US military – and to their spouses – in order to reduce veteran unemployment. Hire Heroes prioritizes veterans statistically most likely to be unemployed: veterans of Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom, and veterans that are wounded or disabled. As a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization, Hire Heroes USA services are provided at no cost to the veteran.

What can you do?

We here at Ranger Up rarely ask you to do anything, but, in this case, we are asking you to do something not every man can do, but has secretly desired to…rock the stache! If you are one of our lady readers, have your man-friends rock the stache! Tell all of your friends, family, and the random stranger walking down the street that you are growing a glorious moustache for our troops and ask them to donate. Get this out on your facebook page and tweet your little thumbs off about it! We only have 6 weeks to let our inner-porn star out and let that caterpillar find a nice resting place under our noses! Send all of your acquaintances to make donations at http://www.stachebash.org and remind them that they are completely tax deductible (oh… and donate on behalf of Team Ranger UP)!

Here is the best part! I know you are all wondering “Okay, what the hell do I get out of this?” Well, here is your incentive: The guys here at Ranger Up are bribing you to contribute…yes, BRIBING!

Donations up to 50 dollars will receive a $5 Ranger Up gift certificate.
Donations up to 100 dollars will receive a $10 Ranger Up gift certificate.
Donations above 100 dollars will receive a $25 Ranger Up gift certificate.

DONATE HERE

In addition, we will be picking one donator to win a trip for two (hotel, airfare, and tickets) to a UFC event with the Ranger Up crew (that, my friends, is priceless). You get one entry into the drawing for every $25 you donate.

Our methodology may be unfair, but it’s for a great cause, so that makes it fair…right?

All you have to do is forward your receipt email to customerservice@rangerup.com

Time to RTFU
If you are man enough to accept the challenge, I will even create a page for all of our manliness for the world to see and show the other teams just how deep we really roll. Send pictures of your stupendous-stache to ru.damnright@gmail.com (just don’t forget your name) and I will get them up for the world to see your manliness flow!

So get off your ass and feed the stache…it’s all for a great cause!

DONATE HERE

With a 6-1 amateur record and currently 2-0 in his pro career, Colton has a won his last four fights in the first round by rear-naked-choke. Colton explains that choking out opponents isn’t the only thing he likes to choke. There’s also this thing that he has…um…never mind. The only thing that Colton has a hard time not choking out is the plethora of liberal tree-huggers he tends to run into in the greater DC area. Colton also has secret superpowers, wears Superman Underoos and has accepted the mission to stomp out the “Occupy” movement by luring them away with his incredible dance moves and his mesmerizingly, surgically enhanced, perfectly-shaped…ass. Wait, did I just say that?

Colton was once arrested for fighting. That in itself really isn’t that interesting, but when you add that he was dressed as a dead Osama bin Laden and he was fighting a bunch of Russians in an Irish Pub in Germany, it paints the term “keeping up foreign relations” in a whole new light.

If Colton’s opponents ever want an edge in a fight all they have to do is douse themselves in olive juice. Colton has an unnatural fear of olives; they are kind of like his Kryptonite. Don’t ever drink a dry martini with an olive near him or you are likely to end up being choked out; and for God’s sake don’t put one on the end of your finger and point it at him.

Please welcome Colton Smith to Team Rhino. Ranger Up has actually sponsored him for 4 fights now, but we’ve been in a drunken haze for the last two years and lost track of the time.

It’s a close race and we could really use your help.

Plus, if we win, Tommy will shave his head.

Read the full story here

It’s just impossible to comprehend Tim Kennedy’s fascination with cooking combined with his propensity to kill other people with military-issued weapons. When he was assigned to the 7th Special Forces Group, Kennedy was a sniper, sniper instructor and the principal combatives instructor for the C Company, 3rd Battalion. Therefore it puzzles me that he chose Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare over Battlefield: Bad Company 2 to dispense his sniping expertise. If you’re into the equivalent of a ‘pop’ experience devoid of any substance, go with Modern Warfare. It’s the Britney Spears of military simulations. Sorry Activision, you can’t fool us with your elaborate special-edition game packages (despite how cool it really is). One day we’ll convince him to go with Battlefield: Bad Company 2, but in the meantime we’ll just ogle over Tim Kennedy’s conditioning workout in this video.

FULL VIDEO HERE