An American Legend And Your Sorry Ass

Updated: May 1, 2015

By Jack Mandaville

I have to preface my forthcoming rant with a couple of things.

First, I’m a fulltime employee at Ranger Up. I don’t speak for the company or any individuals in the company. I’m just another dude in a group of politically diverse vets and patriots.

Second, I’m an apolitical person. All I want is the ability to bear arms and to be left the fuck alone so I can do what I want, within the confines of the law and moral decency, and be who I want. I wish the exact same things for my fellow Americans—regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, political opinion, lifestyle or favorite sports team.

But just because I don’t actively engage in politics doesn’t mean I’m not politically aware. And just because I don’t subscribe to a specific political mindset doesn’t mean I’m not willing to call out hypocritical bullshit when I see it. Most of all, just because I don’t routinely partake in political discussion doesn’t mean I don’t love my country and those who make it a better place.

So all of this brings me back to the coming tirade.

If someone says something on the internet, it must be true.

If someone says something on the internet, it must be true.

Fuck the guy who wrote this and fuck the people who are so hell-bent in their extremism that they would even go there or agree with it.

I’m not here to give a biography of Mr. Powell, but I’m going to lay down some brief facts for those of you who are too young or too stubborn headed to know who he is.

  • Attended the New York public school system in the South Bronx—not exactly a hotbed for churning out elite leaders.
  • Was commissioned in the US Army in 1958—not exactly a time when it was easy being a black officer in the very recently desegregated US Military.
  • Received a Purple Heart in 1963 after stepping on a punji stake during his first tour in Vietnam.
  • Earned a Soldier’s Medal during his second tour for saving the lives of the commanding general of 23rd ID and other soldiers after a horrific helicopter crash—among other notable feats during his Vietnam War years.
  • Was one of the few competent officers to come out of that conflict.
  • Served a White House fellowship under Richard Nixon—an extremely selective and prestigious position that boasts an impressive alumni list.
  • Served as the senior military advisor to SecDef Caspar Weinberger during the eighties.
  • Served as the V Corps commander in an era when Western vs. Soviet tensions in that AO, Germany, were extremely high.
  • While maintaining his commission as lieutenant general, swapped out his uniform for a suit as he served as the National Security Advisor to Presidents Reagan and Bush from 1987 to 1989.
  • In 1989, at age 52, he became the youngest officer ever to serve as the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
  • During his tenure as the CJCS, he oversaw 28 military operations—including a little thing called Desert Shield/Desert Storm. He was instrumental in that operation’s sweeping success. If Norman Schwarzkopf was the Patton of that operation, Colin Powell was the Eisenhower. I know a lot of you just read that and thought, HOW DARE YOU COMPARE POWELL TO EISENHOWER ROOOOOOOOOOOAR, THE INTERNET MAKES ME ANGRY ROOOOOOOOAR! Though the two oversaw military operations in two different wars, the feats they accomplished in those wars, based on the goals of the operation, were incredible.
  • After his military retirement in 1993, was still active in service and politics and was admired and courted by both main American political parties—eventually declaring himself a Republican but opting not to run.
  • Served as the Secretary of State from 2001 to 2005. In that time, he was instrumental in the pre and post Iraq Invasion plans and will most likely go down in history as one of the few top-level people who were worth a shit in that administration.
  • Continues to be a respected voice, on both sides of the aisle, in politics and international policies to this day.


My desire to conduct this rant began with a Ranger Up Facebook post that simply listed Mr. Powell’s 13 Rules of Leadership, you know, because someone who served 39 years for his country in both a military and high level civilian role probably has a pretty legitimate voice when it comes to the subject of leadership. That’s all it was, a simple list—which you should take the time to read because it’s pretty fuckin’ awesome.

Then some asshole had to chime in, as seen in the above referenced screenshot.

But I wouldn’t be going on this diatribe if it was written by a lone nutter. The fact that I’m taking serious time out of my drinking day to write this means that this mindset is more common than many realize. People actually are shitting on Mr. Powell’s service because, according to them, he committed one inexcusable sin that forever puts you in the Benedict Brutus Judas category: he voted for Obama.

That’s it. That’s all it takes for a chunk of hypocrites to completely shit on your lifetime of service to our country.

Yeah, I’m not a big fan of the President myself. I could list you the reasons why I’m not, but this harangue isn’t about him. It’s about the fucktarded mentality, held by a vocal bunch, that if you’re not with me you’re against me.

Most of these people dislike the president because their only way of comprehending the complicated nature of the American political system—which is timeless—is by breaking it down into a theatrical Good Guys vs. Bad Guys outline. These are the same people who were the last holdouts in believing that WWE wrestling was fake. They epitomize Wal-Mart patriotism—a shitty belief that America was once a utopia and that everything went to shit during their own lifetime, meaning they live in the worst time of American history because, in all reality, they have no concept of history. They’re folks whose only contributions to the political discussion is in angry, facile outbursts in the only place where their voice will be heard: the comment section. They are the thickest straws in a realm of straw men.

*Drops mic and walks off stage*

*Crowd cheers loudly and starts chanting, “Encore, encore, encore!”*

*Walks back on stage, picks up mic and goes back for more*

I’m not one to pick on the intellectually challenged, but sometimes they gnaw at me. People actually believe that Mr. Powell’s legacy is complete shit because of who he voted for at the presidential level. These individuals, ironically, have lived in the blanket of freedom he dedicated his entire life to protecting. And as we’ve learned, he did it in many capacities: as a grunt, as a combat advisor, as a field grade officer, as a strategic advisor, as a top military leader, as a diplomat, etc.

Additionally, I’ve witnessed many of these people tout their own service histories as if it gives them some sort of upper hand on the topic of Mr. Powell’s political opinions (he still identifies as a Republican, by the way). Congratulations on your service, folks. I’ve always said that an individual’s service to their country is important, whether they did 4 or 40 years. I truly believe it, too. But let’s be real here, his 35 years of military service in extremely important positions kind of outdoes my four enlisted years, most of which were spent—other than training and being deployed—chasing pussy around SoCal then returning to the barracks to jerkoff and drink myself to sleep.

Colin Powell’s 35 year career that had him holding almost every imaginable role Jack’s four year enlistment


Colin Powell: A brother to tyranny (according to people who have a hard time grasping the concept of tyranny).

That goes for the rest of you. I know some of you may not want to read this, but I pride myself in being truthful even when the truth may harm other’s egos. Chances are your accomplishments don’t hold a candle to his. And that’s okay. It’s also okay for you to fundamentally disagree with him about politics. That’s an American freedom—something we’ve all fought for. But shitting on a man’s distinguished career because you don’t like who he voted for is pretty damn ridiculous. There’s a reason why he’s almost universally respected by political figures and world leaders from all backgrounds, and there’s a reason why you’re just somebody complaining in the comment section (or some asshole writing a shitty blog post in his defense).

“Colin Powell is a asshole liberal pussy,” he said. “Being an enemy to freedom and a brother to tyranny negated it all,” he added.

Well, since we’re going to make sweeping generalizations about people based off what little we know about them, please let me join in, Mr. Angry Internet Commenter.

I’m sorry the world is changing around you. I’m sorry that your only way of dealing with changes that, in reality, have been happening for years now is to lash out at the most visible public figures. I’m sorry that your personal life is so shitty that you’re unable to take a deep look at yourself and instead opt to attack people that have little impact on the quality of your life. I’m sorry about your small penis—we can’t all be Milton Berle. I’m sorry that you have no control over your life.

I hope this helped. You’re welcome for my service.

*Drops mic and walks off stage for good*




  1. paul

    May 2, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    I have the utmost respect for general powell and would serve under him at any time
    I believe he should have stayed very active in politics. Even to the point of running for president. He would have my vote for sure

  2. troy wood

    May 2, 2015 at 6:45 pm


  3. John

    May 5, 2015 at 7:43 am

    I agree with the general thrust or your piece Jack, however there are some points I must play the contrarian with. Surely viciously denigrating GEN Powell falls into the category of not cool. However he is not immune to criticism just because he served honorably in the military. John McCain is a great military hero, however his political life, like GEN Powell’s, has had a net negative impact on liberty in our once free country.

    Yes, GEN Powell achieved more in his first four years of commission than I have in my first fourteen of enlistment. But he disagrees with some very fundamental liberties explicitly enshrined in our Constitution that we all swore to defend from foreign and domestic enemies. Right now the entire population of Washington DC falls into the domestic enemy category.

    You claim Republicans hate him for merely voting for Obama. He did a little more than that. He strategically threw his support behind Obama publicly at the precise time that it would do the most damage to John McCain. For the record, I think McCain would have been a horrible president, but at least he wouldn’t be actively trying to destroy America like Obama. McCain would’ve merely destroyed America by incompetence.

    Our government has been circling into ever increasing levels of horror for a very long time now. All high level officials of this monstrosity need to be held accountable. That accountability includes our military heroes.

  4. Daryl

    May 5, 2015 at 11:37 pm

    You are spot on in Mr. Powell’s service record….. however,

    If he would’t have supported the most (outside of Woodrow Wilson) progressive candidate for president, he would have retained the respect of his service record. BHO is a travesty to the Constitution at every turn.

    That being said….. Semper Fi

  5. Dave

    May 10, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    I’m sick and tired of hearing that service is a scapegoat and solution to all things people say/do. People knock my generation for the entitlement mentality. That’s exactly what a lot of veterans are doing now getting out of the service. I even overheard one say that veterans are first class citizens and that people who never served should get used to it. The reality is that were all Americans and all contribute to a great country. Those “fucktards” as you describe are doing so with the right the were born with in this country. Your bashing of them shows neither your acceptance of their speech nor the impartiality that comes from a free society.

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